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You Know Your An American When...  
User currently offlineJfkaua From United States of America, joined Aug 2004, 1000 posts, RR: 3
Posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 3295 times:

1. You find cricket to be boring but watch golf, bowling or curling on TV.
2. When you see anyone at all pass by you on the road, you greet them with a
"Howz it goin", "Whassup" or "How you doin" and keep walking on.
3. You express sarcasm with "Yeah, right."
4. You think everyone in the world knows about the O.J. Simpson case.

106 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineDL021 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 11447 posts, RR: 75
Reply 1, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 3270 times:

S'up? What the hell is curling? Does it involve beer or weightlifting? Does anyone watch it on TV? Yeah, right!

Hey, did you see that O.J. is gonna be at the Orange Bowl tonight? Guys, lock your ladies up!



Is my Pan Am ticket to the moon still good?
User currently offlineSK A340 From Sweden, joined Mar 2000, 845 posts, RR: 2
Reply 2, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 3262 times:


5. You laugh at the rest of the world when they are playing football with their feet.

 Big grin

/SK A340


User currently offlineSolnabo From Sweden, joined Jan 2008, 857 posts, RR: 2
Reply 3, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 3213 times:


....when you drink black coffee w dinner!

Micke/SE  Insane



Airbus SAS - Love them both
User currently offlineN766UA From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 8339 posts, RR: 23
Reply 4, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 3206 times:

When you make "You know you're a _________ when" jokes.


This Website Censors Me
User currently offlineAerobalance From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 4683 posts, RR: 46
Reply 5, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 3204 times:

6. You're a marked target by Osama


"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
User currently offlineYukimizake From Japan, joined Mar 2004, 529 posts, RR: 0
Reply 6, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 3206 times:

You can buy a gun at Walmart.


'Opfer müssen gebracht werden (Sacrifices must be made)' - Otto Lilienthal
User currently offlineDavid b. From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 3148 posts, RR: 5
Reply 7, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 3193 times:

You are 100 pounds overweight  Wink/being sarcastic


Teenage-know-it-alls should be shot on sight
User currently offlineAerobalance From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 4683 posts, RR: 46
Reply 8, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 3191 times:

What's wrong with the guns at K-Mart?


"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8731 posts, RR: 42
Reply 9, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 3169 times:

"What's wrong with the guns at K-Mart?"

It's an outside-US thing, you wouldn't understand.  Big grin



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineN766UA From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 8339 posts, RR: 23
Reply 10, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 3159 times:

You use "your" in place of the proper "you're."


This Website Censors Me
User currently offlineAerobalance From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 4683 posts, RR: 46
Reply 11, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 3147 times:

Your country is accused of starting the tsunami........ that is so laughable! Big grin


"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8731 posts, RR: 42
Reply 12, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 3139 times:

"You use "your" in place of the proper 'you're.' "

OK, since that can o' worms has been opened...

it's instead of its
there instead of their
there instead of they're
(verb)-ize instead of (verb)-ise
would of instead of would've; my biggest hatred, what kind of crap is "would've" anyway?
license instead of licence
color instead of colour
trunk instead of boot
were instead of we're
were instead of where
tho instead of though
thru instead of through

and make a lot of "vowel mistakes" like perminent instead of permanent



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineMartinairYYZ From Canada, joined Nov 2003, 1209 posts, RR: 7
Reply 13, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 3134 times:

..... your new diet is upgraded from Wendy's to McDonalds daily

..... you think Canada is a small desolate landlocked piece of ice in the middle of nowhere




Chelsea Football Club supporter.
User currently offlineB757300 From United States of America, joined Dec 2000, 4114 posts, RR: 22
Reply 14, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 3135 times:

You Know Your An American When...

You're blamed for everything bad that happens in the rest of the world.



"There is no victory at bargain basement prices."
User currently offlineDL021 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 11447 posts, RR: 75
Reply 15, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 3128 times:

People from other countries gleefully express their resentment of your fortune to be born in the US through their open disdain for your spelling and level of relative sophistication and culture.


Is my Pan Am ticket to the moon still good?
User currently offlineYukimizake From Japan, joined Mar 2004, 529 posts, RR: 0
Reply 16, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 3122 times:

You know you're American when you're better off pretending to be Canadian when traveling in Europe.


'Opfer müssen gebracht werden (Sacrifices must be made)' - Otto Lilienthal
User currently offlineAerobalance From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 4683 posts, RR: 46
Reply 17, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 3112 times:

You don't know who Michael Schumacher is....


"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
User currently offlineIakobos From Belgium, joined Aug 2003, 3316 posts, RR: 35
Reply 18, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days ago) and read 3064 times:

Your confident nothin' wud work without ur input

Ian, "relative" was the perfectly appropriate adjective  Big grin


User currently offlineMartinairYYZ From Canada, joined Nov 2003, 1209 posts, RR: 7
Reply 19, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days ago) and read 3060 times:

LOL.... nice one Yukimizake!

YKYAA When.......

......... You think you're the best in the world and nobody can even dare be better

......... yOu belIeve a whole Load of lies about....... (check the capitalized words in this sentence)



Chelsea Football Club supporter.
User currently offlineIakobos From Belgium, joined Aug 2003, 3316 posts, RR: 35
Reply 20, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days ago) and read 3055 times:

You know for sure that Bulgaria is a disease in the mountains of Zimbabwe

You have no knowledge of the word "than"

Your eyes are popping out of their orbits when you discover not all women are filled with plastic or gelatine


User currently offlineEmiratesA345 From Canada, joined Jun 2003, 2123 posts, RR: 9
Reply 21, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days ago) and read 3050 times:

"S'up? What the hell is curling? Does it involve beer or weightlifting? Does anyone watch it on TV? Yeah, right!

Hey, did you see that O.J. is gonna be at the Orange Bowl tonight? Guys, lock your ladies up!"


...when you attempt to make a joke out of something that was said, but use a different sport than what was mentioned.

(Notice he used curling, rather than cricket)

Mark



You and I were meant to fly, Air Canada!
User currently offlineXJRamper From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 2471 posts, RR: 51
Reply 22, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 2 days 23 hours ago) and read 3009 times:

You know that Canada is a loft apartment over a really great party.

You don't give a fu*k what the rest of the world says about you.

XJR



Look ma' no hands!
User currently offlineVenus6971 From United States of America, joined Dec 2004, 1443 posts, RR: 0
Reply 23, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 2 days 22 hours ago) and read 2987 times:

Hey we don't habla English anyway, we speak bad American English and Spanish with a little Cherokee here in Oklahoma. Yea I know we are getting our heads handed to us now. The state will be mourning until the start of spring football.
To all the South Americans and Europeans on this thread, you guy's got to stop getting your information about Americans from Hollywood and CNN.

Its not bragging if you can do it and show it regulary.



I would help you but it is not in the contract
User currently offlineSovietjet From Bulgaria, joined Mar 2003, 2636 posts, RR: 17
Reply 24, posted (9 years 10 months 3 weeks 2 days 22 hours ago) and read 2976 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

LOL Iakobos, that's pretty funny.

...........when you smile at someone but don't really know why


25 Boeing7E7 : Your personal income can feed a family of 20 for 10 years from a third world country... You continually shake your head at the UN's stupidity... You d
26 QANTASFOREVER : One thing I have noticed about Americans is a tendency to say: "I could care less" as opposed to "I couldn't care less" - which is weird because both
27 Pacificjourney : ... you actually believe you have 'cache' in other countries (or perhaps that's just DL021).
28 Yukimizake : You know you're American when over 2,000,000 of your fellow citizens are currently in prison (#1 in the world, also #1 on a per capita basis).
29 Post contains images ReguPilot : YKYAA when you go to any United States Postal Office in any US Territory and ask if stamps are 0.37¢. - When You think USA is the only country and th
30 AirxLiban : when you think England starts with an I
31 Foxy : When you think Disneyland is a foreign country and you're unable to eat pretzels
32 Post contains images ZKSUJ : You think French fries are American
33 Post contains images ZKJIM : And what the hell is a SIDEWALK?! Pavement, people, PAVEMENT! Just like the band. Repeat after me. P-A-V-E-M-E-N-T.
34 ZKSUJ : Sidewalk=Pavement=(in NZ's case) a Foot path
35 Post contains images LO231 : When you cut your steak first, then take the fork in your right hand and don't use the knife anymore..
36 Post contains images Solnabo : ....when every yank knows who Hulk Hogan is, but not the name of the president! *LOL* Micke
37 QANTASFOREVER : LO231 - I second that completely!! I had lunch with some americans yesterday and they thought I was weird for keeping my knife and fork in my hands th
38 Post contains images Scorpio : When you cut your steak first, then take the fork in your right hand and don't use the knife anymore.. ROFL! That one just made my day! So true man, s
39 Na : ...when your breakfast has as many calories as a whole Bangladeshi family eats in a day. ...you think Porsche is a great American car. ...you think sp
40 Jasepl : ...when you have a name such as Hank Biagio Chang or Priya Esperanza Rosenkotter!
41 Post contains images Ready4Pushback : One thing I have noticed about Americans is a tendency to say: "I could care less" as opposed to "I couldn't care less" - which is weird because both
42 Yak42 : ..when you think a non US person talking about Maradona actually means Madonna.
43 Aerobalance : Ah yes, Maradona, the wasted one......
44 Ltbewr : What everybody else in the world calls football, we call Soccer, and where the only person who uses their foot in out football, is the kicker or punte
45 SKYSERVICE_330 : Username: XJRamper From United States, joined Dec 2003, 619 posts, RR: 6 Reply: 22 Posted Wed Jan 5 2005 05:08:47 UTC+1 and read 323 times: "You know
46 Tristarenvy : You go out to eat anywhere in the world, and bemoan the lack of "a good hamburger and Coke" on the menu. Start any disagreement w/someone in a foreign
47 Post contains images Solnabo : ....you hear in supermarkets and other places:- How are you? Its nagging me to death, you just wanna scream:- Non of youre f****ng buisness!! Micke
48 QANTASFOREVER : What everybody else in the world calls football, we call Soccer, and where the only person who uses their foot in out football, is the kicker or punte
49 Tristarenvy : Or that great catch phrase for an American maker of cakes, and pies, Sara Lee that went, "Nobody dosen't like Sara Lee"
50 SlamClick : When everything you post gets knee-jerk response from Pacificjourney, Russophile, or Airplay. When you are the only person on the forum who does not b
51 ScarletHarlot : Hey! Ian (DL021), don't diss my sport, curling! I sit here in full curling garb ready to head out to the club and curl against my girl Kate (Beta120)
52 Post contains images DL021 : April, I know all about curling....one very, very cold night up near Bear Lake the sappers from the Canadian Parachute Regiment rewarded us for bringi
53 Post contains images XJRamper : -You know you're American when you steal jokes from a Robin Williams stand up routine. I knew it was the truth...but I didn't know where it came from.
54 Yukimizake : You know you're American when you are one of the 68% of all Americans that believe minors should be eligible for the death penalty. (Other countries t
55 Jcs17 : -you realize that Canada's only useful purpose is for trips to nudy bars -you feel special because you live in the most envied, emulated, and most-rec
56 Post contains images ScarletHarlot : Back to regularly scheduled programming...Ian, thanks, but there are some very cute ladies down at the club! Kate might be one of the cutest girlies t
57 KAVL : YKYAA when... You use acronyms like YKYAA, when words like "an" aren't used in acronyms You're not sure if "an" is preposition, an adverb, or what, so
58 KAVL : You're mad at "the Mexicans" for moving north to find better wages, while your country capitalizes on them by providing lower wages to workers in Mexi
59 Ryangooner : You get the arse when foreigners dont tip.... You ask the British what its like to have tea with the queen... Youve never had a passport.... The waite
60 LO231 : you speak slowly to "foriegners" And if they don't understand English, you speak LOUDLY Regards
61 QANTASFOREVER : OH - and it is NEVER you who has the accent, it is always the other native english-speaking foreigner. Because of course American is the "default" acc
62 BAViscount : You cannot detect an English accent from an Australian one.... Oh how I've suffered through that one!! If I had a pound for every time I've been asked
63 Post contains images AA777 : You know you´re american when you... Speak only English. Go to foreign countries wearing a fanny pack, and a NY Yankees cap. Kids wear baggy jeans th
64 LO231 : -you go to foreign countries an deat at McDonald's, Burger King and the likes
65 Post contains images RT514 : Jcs17: -you realize that Canada's only useful purpose is for trips to nudy bars -you feel special because you live in the most envied, emulated, and m
66 Aloges : - ...you think everyone in the world outside the US wants to kill all Americans, destroy your country, rape your women, betray you, leave you behind,
67 Solnabo : Ooohh......Ann Coulter and B. O´Reilly get a baby together! RoseMary´s baby is a angel compared to this one........*LOL* Mike/SE
68 Solnabo : ....they think Sweden is the next county! Mike/SE
69 Daedaeg : -when you're bashed by more than half the people on this board when you say you love your country or support the troops.
70 Cedarjet : You hold a World Series but without anyone from, you know, foreign.
71 Post contains images COFreqFlyer : In America, you can buy firearms at Wal-Mart, but you can't buy alcoholic beverages. In Scotland, you can buy alcoholic beverages (namely SCOTCH!!!) a
72 Jfkaua : well they do that for a clear reason you don't want drunk people leaving the store with fire arms...
73 COFreqFlyer : Heheheh, no kidding. I really think we're on the short end of the deal over here, cause I can't get the scotch I like to drink anywhere here in Americ
74 TWFirst : >>You hold a World Series but without anyone from, you know, foreign.
75 Post contains images Leezyjet : "Think that the British Accent is ¨SOOOO COOL!!¨ hehehe... i will admit I love the British Accent" Which one ? there are about 50 of them !!!. - You
76 Post contains images Solnabo : Leezyjet: Way to go Youre added to my resp.userlist Micke/SE
77 Daedaeg : Leezy, typical euro-garbage.
78 Usatoeze : From one who has been in all of your countries. You know you are an American when: You correctly believe that Noam Chomsky is a foolish old nut who on
79 Post contains images Leezyjet : Daedaeg, No garbage there - it's actually all true.
80 Usatoeze : - You learn history from Hollywood movies - and believe that you single handedly defeated the Germans in ww2, stole the enigma machine etc etc. Yes bu
81 Post contains images Ltbewr : COFreqFlyr, one correction, some Wal-marts, as well as K-marts do sell beer and wine, mainly at the Superstores that sell food, depending on the state
82 StowAway : No garbage there - it's actually all true. And the cow goes moo......
83 Post contains images XJRamper : Actually leezy: "Think that the British Accent is ¨SOOOO COOL!!¨ You got that wrong...its hard to understand even if you are sober You learn history
84 Lurch : I think my Country man was talking about Vietnam Pajama wearing natives(careful Leezy)
85 Post contains images SlamClick : That is some talent! Trying to offend Americans and wind up making condescending, racist remarks about the Vietnamese. You sound like one of those old
86 DL021 : Anytime someone is added to Solnabos ru list they should rapidly reconsider their words and look for the precise point where they dove into self-delud
87 Garnetpalmetto : ..."When Solnabo, Indianguy, Airplay, and a.net's other assorted bigots get a stiffy whenever one of your countrymen die."
88 Boeing7E7 : When all that people can do from other countries is talk smack knowing full well that if they meant it or tried to do anything about it they'd have th
89 David b. : *When you act ignorant and tough because you are hypersentative when someone makes a joke about your county. *You are like the above except you make j
90 Boeing7E7 : When it's okay to be able to kick everyones ass and still have wussies like David for Countrymen to whine about that ass kicking, and have it be perfe
91 Garnetpalmetto : good point david - I tend not to bash other countries. Even though a few a.net members degrade the good names of their country, I don't put some stupi
92 David b. : *When countyman like "B7E7" bitch about being able to kick everyone's ass when one is getting their asses handed to them by everyone in the world. *Wh
93 Lurch : Hay Leezy looks like you've gone and done it now they are not happy with you! I wonder if you have sent there Blood Pressure levels through the Ceilin
94 Post contains images David b. : Read some of the posts Lurch, they already hit the ceiling lol
95 Post contains images Garnetpalmetto : Alright, here's a serious one. "When you, a guy who's partially black, whose family came from Germany at the turn of the century with nothing or from
96 StowAway : We went through that when it became "the thing to do" to bash the French when they didn't get behind the Iraq War, Let us not forget the French going
97 XJRamper : Garnet Im going to go off of you: We are going to start out in the far east where China, Indonesia, Korea, and that pesky little island called Japan s
98 Post contains images Solnabo : Do you even know where Sweden is placed on the map?? I doubt it.... You can kick Euro a**es all over a.net, but get hysterical when bashing US a$$! Je
99 Post contains images Solnabo : Beware! U might end up in my ur.list mmuuuhhaahahahaaa.............. Micke *joking*
100 BA380 : "you think that consuming a majority of the world's natural resources is your god given right and accept no responsibilities for the climate changes t
101 Garnetpalmetto : Do you even know where Sweden is placed on the map?? I doubt it.... You can kick Euro a**es all over a.net, but get hysterical when bashing US a$$! Je
102 Post contains images Bananaboy : Didn't this thread start out light hearted and fun? Hmm. Anyways... I got one.. You know you are American when you visit the UK and think that everyth
103 Post contains images Solnabo : Palmetto: A Golden Star in youre historybook! Congratulations A speachless Micke
104 SlamClick : Good job Garnetpalmetto and you didn't even mention being chased by one Norwegian.
105 Post contains images Leezyjet : Guys, guys, guys, It was only meant as a bit of light hearted ribbing. Don't take it so personally.
106 Yak42 : We call it soccer in Ireland too 'cause football is to refer to irish football. "You know your American if your a little bit touchy and cant take ANY
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