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What O You Consider Cheating?  
User currently offlineMatt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 47
Posted (13 years 2 months 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 940 times:

Ok folks, let's take a moment and do what Clinton couldn't (or wouldn't) do, and define what "is" is.

What do you consider to be the threshold of "cheating", and "infidelity on your significant other, from both yours and your Others standpoint? (my post applies to male/female relationships only, although I invite folks of Other Persuasions to answer with respect to how these lines apply to them as well)


So: what level must you reach before YOU consider yourself having been unfaithful?

What level will you consider it cheating on you by your significant other?

Acts shown to be perpetrated between you and someone OTHER than your wife/girlfriend/fiance/boyfriend/husband

Likewise for aforementioned people above to participate in with someone OTHER than you

A: Hugging
B: Holding hands
C: Kiss on cheeks
D: Kiss on lips (no tongue)
E: Kiss on lips (with tongue)
F: Groping (clothed)
G: Groping (unclothed)
H: Oral gratification
H1: receiving
H2: giving
H3: both giving and receiving
I: "back door" intercourse
J: "protected" "front door" intercourse
K: "unprotected" "front door" intercourse




16 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineKROC From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (13 years 2 months 1 day 10 hours ago) and read 891 times:

I think what I consider cheating, and what the next person considers cheating, and so on will always differ. I think all that matters is how good a lawyer you got, or your soon to be 'ex' has, and who they can convince what cheating is.

User currently offlineAn-225 From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 3950 posts, RR: 40
Reply 2, posted (13 years 2 months 1 day 10 hours ago) and read 883 times:

I think that cheating would start with kissing on the lips with tongue.


Money does not bring you happiness. But it's better to cry in your own private limo than on a cold bus stop.
User currently offlineHugh G Rekshun From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (13 years 2 months 1 day 10 hours ago) and read 875 times:

What O You Consider Cheating?

Getting caught.


User currently offlineSophieMaltese From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 2064 posts, RR: 3
Reply 4, posted (13 years 2 months 1 day 9 hours ago) and read 872 times:

I think if your significant other wouldn't like you doing it, it's cheating. It's all in the intent. I wouldn't consider hugging cheating, or a peck on the cheek, but anything beyond that and you're crossing a line. If you wouldn't do it with your same sex (or opposite sex if you're gay) friend, then it's cheating.

User currently offlineLHMark From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 47
Reply 5, posted (13 years 2 months 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 855 times:

But Sophie, if you use intent as a yardstick, you can actually be cheating BEFORE you have any words or contact.


"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineFlyf15 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (13 years 2 months 1 day 6 hours ago) and read 849 times:

Yeah, say you catch your boy/girlfriend with a member of the opposite sex doing something between (A) and (K). What would you consider cheating then? Probably much less than you would if it were yourself doing the cheating...

Personally, I can see (A) through (D) happening without it being cheating, if they don't intend it that way. (E) and on, its cheating no matter what they intended. I feel that I would be comfortable with my girlfriend doing up to (C) and (D) would be cheating.

I feel the whole idea of cheating is showing love for another besides your partner...


User currently offlineAlle From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (13 years 2 months 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 835 times:

E

Alexander


User currently offlineAloha 737-200 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (13 years 2 months 1 day 3 hours ago) and read 821 times:

For me it's cheating when you kiss someone else on the lips without tongue and anything else beyond that.  Sad

Aloha 737-200 (Just lost his girlfriend  Crying)


User currently offlineJetService From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 4798 posts, RR: 11
Reply 9, posted (13 years 2 months 7 hours ago) and read 791 times:

B and C should be switch if listed in order of severity. Kissing on the cheek (C) and hugging (A) are socially acceptable ways of greeting someone of the opposite sex. It sjust like shaking ones hand. Holding hands is vague. If holding hands while strolling alone in the park, I would say that is cheating. Not the act per se, but the obvious feelings toward each other.




"Shaddap you!"
User currently offlineMatt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 47
Reply 10, posted (13 years 2 months 7 hours ago) and read 791 times:

Agreed, JetService.

Aloha!!!! What's the story? You were on cloud 9 a few weeks ago?

By the way, there is a saying that I like to live by that relats to what you said JS:

"The best revenge you can give to a man that steals your woman is to let him keep her".

Because rest assured. Both men and women are creatures of habit. If a woman bailed on a whim once, I can all but assure you that she'll do it again. And that guy will then feel the same anguish that you felt, and be sorry that he ever sniped her from yoir life. Or even better, she'll fall in love with him, and he'll "kick her to the curb" just like she did to you and then she'll feel the same anguish she bestowed upon you.

Paybacks are a bitch, aren't they?


User currently offline767-322ETOPS From United States of America, joined May 2001, 324 posts, RR: 0
Reply 11, posted (13 years 2 months 5 hours ago) and read 789 times:

How about cybersex, anyone consider that "cheating"?

BTW, any members of the mile high club around here?


User currently offlineWN boy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (13 years 2 months 5 hours ago) and read 779 times:

If you feel the need to cover up your actions, then it probably constitutes cheating. If you don't mind telling your lady what you just did with her best friend, then it probably is not.

Applying this standard to one of the more interesting situations confronted by an old girlfriend, if your husband gets off on watching you have sex with other men and, pursuant to his request, you do so, it is not cheating as you do not need to cover it up and you feel free telling (not to mention showing) your husband about it.


User currently offlineUA767-223 From United States of America, joined May 2001, 156 posts, RR: 0
Reply 13, posted (13 years 2 months 5 hours ago) and read 775 times:

Aloha,

If you cheated on her she'd still be with you - try it some time. And remember, nice guys ALWAYS finish last.



User currently offlineJetService From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 4798 posts, RR: 11
Reply 14, posted (13 years 2 months 3 hours ago) and read 763 times:

WN, I disagree. Sometimes guys cover-up innocent stuff because they know that their girlfriend/wife may misconstrue it as suspicious to avoid an unecessary confrontation.

Example: some girl from work asked you for a ride home for whatever reason. You drive her home, drop her off. No problem; innocent enought, right? Do you tell your wife? Hell no, unless you want to take a bunch of s#!t and have to explain yourself for no good reason.



"Shaddap you!"
User currently offlineWN boy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 15, posted (13 years 1 month 4 weeks 1 day 12 hours ago) and read 751 times:

Why is your wife so suspicious of you, JetService? I would have absolutely no problem telling my fiancee that I had driven a co-worker home. If you have a problem telling her of something so innocent, what have you done in the past to warrant her mistrust?

I submit that if you have never done anything wrong and yet you still believe you would get shit for something so innocent, it says more about your wife than it does about the activity about which you are afraid to tell her.


User currently offlineJetService From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 4798 posts, RR: 11
Reply 16, posted (13 years 1 month 4 weeks 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 744 times:

WN, ask any guy and he will tell you there are some innocent things you don't bother telling because it will get blown out of proportion. OK? Its that simple. So don't knock yourself out trying to read into it something else. It human-nature to be protective. Don't be so naïve, big guy.


"Shaddap you!"
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