Matt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 51 Posted (11 years 11 months 3 weeks 5 days 18 hours ago) and read 726 times:
Ok folks, let's take a moment and do what Clinton couldn't (or wouldn't) do, and define what "is" is.
What do you consider to be the threshold of "cheating", and "infidelity on your significant other, from both yours and your Others standpoint? (my post applies to male/female relationships only, although I invite folks of Other Persuasions to answer with respect to how these lines apply to them as well)
So: what level must you reach before YOU consider yourself having been unfaithful?
What level will you consider it cheating on you by your significant other?
Acts shown to be perpetrated between you and someone OTHER than your wife/girlfriend/fiance/boyfriend/husband
Likewise for aforementioned people above to participate in with someone OTHER than you
B: Holding hands
C: Kiss on cheeks
D: Kiss on lips (no tongue)
E: Kiss on lips (with tongue)
F: Groping (clothed)
G: Groping (unclothed)
H: Oral gratification
H3: both giving and receiving
I: "back door" intercourse
J: "protected" "front door" intercourse
K: "unprotected" "front door" intercourse
KROC From United States of America, joined May 2000, 19737 posts, RR: 76 Reply 1, posted (11 years 11 months 3 weeks 5 days 17 hours ago) and read 677 times:
I think what I consider cheating, and what the next person considers cheating, and so on will always differ. I think all that matters is how good a lawyer you got, or your soon to be 'ex' has, and who they can convince what cheating is.
"Never tell anybody outside the family what you're thinking again"
SophieMaltese From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 2064 posts, RR: 3 Reply 4, posted (11 years 11 months 3 weeks 5 days 16 hours ago) and read 658 times:
I think if your significant other wouldn't like you doing it, it's cheating. It's all in the intent. I wouldn't consider hugging cheating, or a peck on the cheek, but anything beyond that and you're crossing a line. If you wouldn't do it with your same sex (or opposite sex if you're gay) friend, then it's cheating.
Flyf15 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 6, posted (11 years 11 months 3 weeks 5 days 12 hours ago) and read 635 times:
Yeah, say you catch your boy/girlfriend with a member of the opposite sex doing something between (A) and (K). What would you consider cheating then? Probably much less than you would if it were yourself doing the cheating...
Personally, I can see (A) through (D) happening without it being cheating, if they don't intend it that way. (E) and on, its cheating no matter what they intended. I feel that I would be comfortable with my girlfriend doing up to (C) and (D) would be cheating.
I feel the whole idea of cheating is showing love for another besides your partner...
JetService From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 4798 posts, RR: 13 Reply 9, posted (11 years 11 months 3 weeks 4 days 13 hours ago) and read 577 times:
B and C should be switch if listed in order of severity. Kissing on the cheek (C) and hugging (A) are socially acceptable ways of greeting someone of the opposite sex. It sjust like shaking ones hand. Holding hands is vague. If holding hands while strolling alone in the park, I would say that is cheating. Not the act per se, but the obvious feelings toward each other.
Matt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 51 Reply 10, posted (11 years 11 months 3 weeks 4 days 13 hours ago) and read 577 times:
Aloha!!!! What's the story? You were on cloud 9 a few weeks ago?
By the way, there is a saying that I like to live by that relats to what you said JS:
"The best revenge you can give to a man that steals your woman is to let him keep her".
Because rest assured. Both men and women are creatures of habit. If a woman bailed on a whim once, I can all but assure you that she'll do it again. And that guy will then feel the same anguish that you felt, and be sorry that he ever sniped her from yoir life. Or even better, she'll fall in love with him, and he'll "kick her to the curb" just like she did to you and then she'll feel the same anguish she bestowed upon you.
WN boy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 12, posted (11 years 11 months 3 weeks 4 days 12 hours ago) and read 565 times:
If you feel the need to cover up your actions, then it probably constitutes cheating. If you don't mind telling your lady what you just did with her best friend, then it probably is not.
Applying this standard to one of the more interesting situations confronted by an old girlfriend, if your husband gets off on watching you have sex with other men and, pursuant to his request, you do so, it is not cheating as you do not need to cover it up and you feel free telling (not to mention showing) your husband about it.
JetService From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 4798 posts, RR: 13 Reply 14, posted (11 years 11 months 3 weeks 4 days 10 hours ago) and read 549 times:
WN, I disagree. Sometimes guys cover-up innocent stuff because they know that their girlfriend/wife may misconstrue it as suspicious to avoid an unecessary confrontation.
Example: some girl from work asked you for a ride home for whatever reason. You drive her home, drop her off. No problem; innocent enought, right? Do you tell your wife? Hell no, unless you want to take a bunch of s#!t and have to explain yourself for no good reason.
WN boy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 15, posted (11 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 19 hours ago) and read 537 times:
Why is your wife so suspicious of you, JetService? I would have absolutely no problem telling my fiancee that I had driven a co-worker home. If you have a problem telling her of something so innocent, what have you done in the past to warrant her mistrust?
I submit that if you have never done anything wrong and yet you still believe you would get shit for something so innocent, it says more about your wife than it does about the activity about which you are afraid to tell her.
JetService From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 4798 posts, RR: 13 Reply 16, posted (11 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 530 times:
WN, ask any guy and he will tell you there are some innocent things you don't bother telling because it will get blown out of proportion. OK? Its that simple. So don't knock yourself out trying to read into it something else. It human-nature to be protective. Don't be so naïve, big guy.