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19 Not To Say To A Cop  
User currently offlineNicolaki From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (14 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1554 times:

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my

2. Sorry, I didn't realize that my radar detector
wasn't on.

3. Aren't you the guy from the village people?

4. Hey you must have been going 125mph just
to keep up with me.

5. I thought you had to be in good physical
condition to be a cop.

6. Bad cop! No donut!

7. You're gonna check the trunk, aren't you?

8. I was going to be a cop, really, but I
decided to finish high school.

9. I pay your salary.

10. That's terrific, the last guy only gave me a
warning also.

11. Is that a 9mm? It's nothing compared to
this .44 magnum!

12. What do you mean, have I been drinking?
You're a trained specialist.

13. Do you know why you pulled me over?
Good, at least one of us does.

14. That gut doesn't inspire too much
confidence, bet I can outrun you.

15. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on

16. Is it true people become cops because
they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

17. I was trying to keep up with traffic.

18. Yes, I know there are no other cars
around - that's how far they are ahead of me.

19. Well, when I reached down to pick up my
bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got
lodged between the brake pedal and gas
pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

8 replies: All unread, jump to last
User currently offlineGKirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 25340 posts, RR: 54
Reply 1, posted (14 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1510 times:


When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offline767-322ETOPS From United States of America, joined May 2001, 324 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (14 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1503 times:

I'm calling Jacoby & Meyers.

User currently offlineArchie Bunker From United States of America, joined Jul 2000, 401 posts, RR: 0
Reply 3, posted (14 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1500 times:

If a cop ask "Where have you been?" or "where did you come from?"

Don't answer, "with your wife".

User currently offlineAn-225 From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 3952 posts, RR: 36
Reply 4, posted (14 years 11 months 1 week 2 days ago) and read 1491 times:

 Big grin

Money does not bring you happiness. But it's better to cry in your own private limo than on a cold bus stop.
User currently offlineL-188 From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 30404 posts, RR: 57
Reply 5, posted (14 years 11 months 1 week 1 day 19 hours ago) and read 1460 times:

Don't reply that you don't know where you where that night because you where too drunk to remember.

A deadhead ended up buying me four new tires because of that one.

Don't ask about their quota system either.

User currently offlineIamcanadian From Canada, joined May 2001, 734 posts, RR: 1
Reply 6, posted (14 years 11 months 1 week 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 1457 times:

 Big thumbs up

Shut up and calculate.
User currently offlineTupolev154B2 From United States of America, joined Jun 2000, 1332 posts, RR: 2
Reply 7, posted (14 years 11 months 1 week 1 day 16 hours ago) and read 1440 times:

My license should be in the bag of crack in my back seat.

User currently offlineJoona From Finland, joined May 2001, 1038 posts, RR: 9
Reply 8, posted (14 years 11 months 1 week 1 day 15 hours ago) and read 1431 times:

 Smokin cool


1740 days idle. Beat that.
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