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Really Stupid Thread II - Farts  
User currently offlineTheGov From United States of America, joined Apr 2003, 414 posts, RR: 3
Posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 hours ago) and read 1722 times:

To continue the theme

Farts: Can you do in on command?

Ever cleared out a room?

Ever have one go bad? (less air, more..........)

Cropdust?

Feel free to let it all out............




Always a pallbearer, never a corpse.
34 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineAirlinerfreak From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 hours ago) and read 1715 times:

SOmetime I can do it on command dont ask why. One time I was doing sit-ups and i just plain farted, it was soo embarressing. But the fact is that we all do it on an average of 7 times a day

User currently offlineSTLGph From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 9266 posts, RR: 25
Reply 2, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 2 hours ago) and read 1682 times:

I cannot fart on command but I can definitely make them silent if necessary. Of course they all smell like gargantuan amounts of poopie. I am most proud of my creations, I must add.


Eternal darkness we all should dread. It's hard to party when you're dead.
User currently offlineBartiniMan From Australia, joined Jul 2001, 315 posts, RR: 0
Reply 3, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 1 hour ago) and read 1672 times:

would you all agree though, that the silent ones are the most deadliest?
What is a cropduster like? a term im not familair with


User currently offlineShyFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 1 hour ago) and read 1665 times:

Can you do in on command?

Nope, but I woke myself up once with one. I'll leave it at that.


User currently offlineNorskMan From Norway, joined Jan 2005, 113 posts, RR: 3
Reply 5, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 1 hour ago) and read 1654 times:

I'm a bloody fart machine. I can't fart on command, but when i do fart, the room is getting cleared for sure. I can't hold them in. Also the harder i try to keep them silent, the louder the bastard is...


yeah i know
User currently offlineUnattendedbag From United States of America, joined Oct 2003, 2323 posts, RR: 2
Reply 6, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week ago) and read 1649 times:

Bartiniman wrote:

"What is a cropduster like? a term im not familair with"


-----
Typically used by flight attendants. They will start from the front or the rear of the aircraft, release the beast, and walk to the other end of the plane. Everyone gets a whif!!

You gotta be sneaky about it though. Gotta find an old guy to walk behind so the passengers don't think it was you!  Smile



Slower traffic, keep right
User currently offlineTokolosh From Netherlands, joined Sep 2001, 366 posts, RR: 0
Reply 7, posted (9 years 5 months 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 1633 times:

I do both types of fart: "Silent but violent" and "Loud and proud".


Did the chicken or the egg get laid first?
User currently offlineZKSUJ From New Zealand, joined May 2004, 7082 posts, RR: 12
Reply 8, posted (9 years 5 months 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 1626 times:

Farts are awsome, where would we be without them

User currently offlineAirlinelover From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5580 posts, RR: 23
Reply 9, posted (9 years 5 months 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 1613 times:

you people are fucking sick..............

Chris



Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
User currently offline707CMF From France, joined Mar 2002, 4885 posts, RR: 29
Reply 10, posted (9 years 5 months 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 1612 times:

To continue the theme

To continue with the shame...

Farts: Can you do in on command?
No, and I do not wish to learn how.

Ever cleared out a room?
I don't need to fart for that.

Ever have one go bad? (less air, more..........)
When I wore diapers, yes.

I will end with a French motto that you can feel free to translate.
"Mieux vaut un pet qui franchement résonne, qu'un doux vent qui empoisonne."

Cheers,

707


User currently offlineConcordeBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (9 years 5 months 6 days 1 hour ago) and read 1544 times:

Always violently loud in the morning... but never deadly.

After that, I'm pretty much a good boy for the rest of the day  Big grin


User currently offlineJasepl From India, joined Jul 2004, 3582 posts, RR: 40
Reply 12, posted (9 years 5 months 6 days 1 hour ago) and read 1540 times:

LOL 707! We have a similar one here. Roughly translated:

Loud fart, you're safe. Medium fart, won't hurt to take cover. Silent fart, run for your life!


User currently offlineMdsh00 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 4124 posts, RR: 8
Reply 13, posted (9 years 5 months 5 days 23 hours ago) and read 1524 times:

Farts: Can you do in on command?
No, but I have a freind who can almost do that.

Ever cleared out a room?
No, but I've gotten strong reactions after claiming the fart.

Ever have one go bad? (less air, more..........)
Oh hell yeah, especially after eating certain foods....phew!

Just wanted to add to ConcordeBoy's post, I fart loud as hell and long in the morning. Luckily they don't smell.  Smile



"Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change."
User currently offlineUTA_flyinghigh From Tunisia, joined Oct 2001, 6495 posts, RR: 51
Reply 14, posted (9 years 5 months 5 days 23 hours ago) and read 1521 times:

What's fun is when you do it in an a/c - noone can hear the nose but they can definitely smell it - and everyone starts looking at each other strangely Big grin

UTA



Fly to live, live to fly - Air France/KLM Flying Blue Platinum, BMI Diamond Club Gold, Emirates Skywards
User currently offline707CMF From France, joined Mar 2002, 4885 posts, RR: 29
Reply 15, posted (9 years 5 months 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 1515 times:

I guess you speak from experience...

But let me enlighten you. You don't hear yours while in an aircraft, not because of the engine noise, but because you usually produce silent farts. The most lethal ones...

Cheers,

707


User currently offlineUTA_flyinghigh From Tunisia, joined Oct 2001, 6495 posts, RR: 51
Reply 16, posted (9 years 5 months 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 1515 times:

Even the loudest ones cannot drown out KF's drone. And yes, I speak with experience of the fact Big grin

UTA



Fly to live, live to fly - Air France/KLM Flying Blue Platinum, BMI Diamond Club Gold, Emirates Skywards
User currently offlineFLYtoEGCC From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2004, 947 posts, RR: 2
Reply 17, posted (9 years 5 months 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 1479 times:

Farts: Can you do in on command?
Usually, yes, after swallowing a bit of air. The only time when it's not a good idea is when you feel a dump coming on in the near future... you don't want to be left with skidmarks!

Ever cleared out a room?
Yes, my kitchen in my uni house. Admittedly there were only two of my female housemates in it at the time, and farting is one of their pet hates.

Ever have one go bad? (less air, more..........)
Fortunately not.

Cropdust?
I've done one that lasted about 10 seconds while walking in a crowded shopping centre, past loads of people - does that count?

Has anyone ever lit a fart?



Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away...
User currently offlineConcordeBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 18, posted (9 years 5 months 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 1453 times:

Rejected fart scenes from "THE MATRIX"


http://i4a.pocketmovies.net/movies/fun/matrixfart.mpg


User currently offlineCanuckpaxguy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 19, posted (9 years 5 months 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 1449 times:

FINALLY!!! A THREAD ABOUT A TOPIC THAT I AM AN EXPERT ON!!!!

While I can't fart on command, I generally do it so often that there's usually one brewing if someone requests it. Generally, my farts don't stink if they're loud. I'm not sure why...but I can provide names of people who can vouch for me. I guess I'm part of the 'loud and proud' gang.

Power-farting is a talent I inherited from my Dad. (We both got sent away from the dinner table last Christmas for farting. We couldn't help it --- and we couldn't stop laughing.)

Sure it's immature, but I still think it's hilarious to hear someone fart.

Better yet, farting loudly and blaming someone else for it...THAT is fun! I was in an elevator the other day with a bunch of strangers and let a really loud one go....I turned around and glared at the woman behind me and asked "Was that YOU???".

She was mortified. I almost passed out trying to hold in my laughter.

...and before anyone asks, NO - I do not fart at work in front of coworkers or customers.

G

[Edited 2005-02-09 03:17:32]

User currently offlineShyFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 20, posted (9 years 5 months 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 1428 times:

I do not fart at work in front of coworkers or customers.
So, you do it behind them?  Laugh out loud


User currently offlineJAGflyer From Canada, joined Aug 2004, 3492 posts, RR: 4
Reply 21, posted (9 years 5 months 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 1423 times:

Not really on command. But I can do them silently as I admit I do in school sometimes. I have had a few skidmarks in my life. Once i feel a "diarahea fart" I try to hold it in or run like hell. The most annoying thing is when you think you have to shit, you go to the toilet and its just gas.


Support the beer and soda can industry, recycle old airplanes!
User currently offlineNWADC9 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 4896 posts, RR: 10
Reply 22, posted (9 years 5 months 5 days 4 hours ago) and read 1419 times:

"FINALLY!!! A THREAD ABOUT A TOPIC THAT I AM AN EXPERT ON!!!!"
You scare me...



Flying an aeroplane with only a single propeller to keep you in the air. Can you imagine that? -Capt. Picard
User currently offlineBoeing Nut From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 23, posted (9 years 5 months 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 1374 times:

http://www.StupidVideos.com/?VideoID=301
http://www.StupidVideos.com/?VideoID=699
http://www.StupidVideos.com/?VideoID=123

I'm going to hell for the first two.  Laugh out loud


User currently offlineLogan22L From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 24, posted (9 years 5 months 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 1364 times:

FlytoEGCC: I have most certainly lit 'em up before. I first heard about it from a friend who went home from college on Thanksgiving break, and his brother lit one up at Thanksgiving dinner in front of all the relatives. Anyway, my disclaimer: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME (OR ANYWHERE ELSE, FOR THAT MATTER). LEAVE IT TO WE PROFESSIONALS. I don't wanna read about any Darwin awards for this by A.netters.

As for the added bonus, yes, I have had the occasional mud strike, usually associated with too much Guinness  Wink/being sarcastic.

Logan


25 Post contains images FlagshipAZ : Yes. Yes. No. No. See my signature. I adopted it from a Ben Franklin's book. So fart proudly, and have a nice day. Regards.
26 AA61Hvy : Beans Beans they're good for your heart, the more you eat the more you fart Beans Beans the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot
27 AA61Hvy : I keep farting tonight, I don't know why.
28 Post contains images Zkjim : I dropped a huge one when I was an altar boy at a 7.30 am mass. A nun was doing a reading, I felt it brew so in my wisdom I thought if I didn't force
29 Post contains links and images ShyFlyer : http://www.pastorgas.com/
30 Post contains images ConcordeBoy : ...took 26 replies, but it finally happened
31 Post contains images Boeing Nut : I wonder what the Preacher thinks about all of this. He must have a good sense of humor because I imagine he'd be taking these poeple to court for def
32 AA61Hvy : Nut- that dude is a whack job, he used to preach in Dallas, he was always all over the news
33 CaptOveur : He is the one that wants everyone to send him a thousand dollars because God will pay them back 10x as much. The worst part is: People actually send h
34 ShyFlyer : I call them ignorant because they must be More like naive. Back to the video, that has to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Rarely to I
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