NorskMan From Norway, joined Jan 2005, 113 posts, RR: 3 Reply 5, posted (8 years 10 months 1 week 3 days 19 hours ago) and read 1534 times:
I'm a bloody fart machine. I can't fart on command, but when i do fart, the room is getting cleared for sure. I can't hold them in. Also the harder i try to keep them silent, the louder the bastard is...
FLYtoEGCC From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2004, 947 posts, RR: 3 Reply 17, posted (8 years 10 months 1 week 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1359 times:
Farts: Can you do in on command?
Usually, yes, after swallowing a bit of air. The only time when it's not a good idea is when you feel a dump coming on in the near future... you don't want to be left with skidmarks!
Ever cleared out a room?
Yes, my kitchen in my uni house. Admittedly there were only two of my female housemates in it at the time, and farting is one of their pet hates.
Ever have one go bad? (less air, more..........)
I've done one that lasted about 10 seconds while walking in a crowded shopping centre, past loads of people - does that count?
Canuckpaxguy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 19, posted (8 years 10 months 1 week 2 days ago) and read 1329 times:
FINALLY!!! A THREAD ABOUT A TOPIC THAT I AM AN EXPERT ON!!!!
While I can't fart on command, I generally do it so often that there's usually one brewing if someone requests it. Generally, my farts don't stink if they're loud. I'm not sure why...but I can provide names of people who can vouch for me. I guess I'm part of the 'loud and proud' gang.
Power-farting is a talent I inherited from my Dad. (We both got sent away from the dinner table last Christmas for farting. We couldn't help it --- and we couldn't stop laughing.)
Sure it's immature, but I still think it's hilarious to hear someone fart.
Better yet, farting loudly and blaming someone else for it...THAT is fun! I was in an elevator the other day with a bunch of strangers and let a really loud one go....I turned around and glared at the woman behind me and asked "Was that YOU???".
She was mortified. I almost passed out trying to hold in my laughter.
...and before anyone asks, NO - I do not fart at work in front of coworkers or customers.
JAGflyer From Canada, joined Aug 2004, 3400 posts, RR: 4 Reply 21, posted (8 years 10 months 1 week 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 1303 times:
Not really on command. But I can do them silently as I admit I do in school sometimes. I have had a few skidmarks in my life. Once i feel a "diarahea fart" I try to hold it in or run like hell. The most annoying thing is when you think you have to shit, you go to the toilet and its just gas.
Supported the beer and soda can industry, recycle old airplanes!
Logan22L From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 24, posted (8 years 10 months 1 week 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 1244 times:
FlytoEGCC: I have most certainly lit 'em up before. I first heard about it from a friend who went home from college on Thanksgiving break, and his brother lit one up at Thanksgiving dinner in front of all the relatives. Anyway, my disclaimer: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME (OR ANYWHERE ELSE, FOR THAT MATTER). LEAVE IT TO WE PROFESSIONALS. I don't wanna read about any Darwin awards for this by A.netters.
As for the added bonus, yes, I have had the occasional mud strike, usually associated with too much Guinness .
25 FlagshipAZ: Yes. Yes. No. No. See my signature. I adopted it from a Ben Franklin's book. So fart proudly, and have a nice day. Regards.
26 AA61Hvy: Beans Beans they're good for your heart, the more you eat the more you fart Beans Beans the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot
27 AA61Hvy: I keep farting tonight, I don't know why.
28 Zkjim: I dropped a huge one when I was an altar boy at a 7.30 am mass. A nun was doing a reading, I felt it brew so in my wisdom I thought if I didn't force