Pilotaydin From Turkey, joined Sep 2004, 2539 posts, RR: 49 Posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 4 days 3 hours ago) and read 2151 times:
hey there, i know that i don't personally know any of you, but i guess that maybe if i share some grief with some a.netters, maybe id feel better....
unfortunately this morning, a very close friend of mine was killed in his car, when he lost control and smashed into a concrete wall, and flipped over. As much as I really liked him, im so very upset that he was absolutely drunk beyond belief.... so i guess im angry, and upset at the same time....Right now it feels unreal and it feels like his cell phone would be answered by him if i called....the truth is though...he isnt here anymore....It was hard going to his parents' house, his mom was hyperventilating and literally on the floor, and his father was in utter shock, shaking his head....
the car he was in got totalled, he died on impact....his spine,neck and most of his skull were broken/crushed...he had no chance... He was also speeding like crazy, and it was raining...
i know many of you probably already think "well i mean come on..."
i want to think that, but i cant...because he was my friend...he was extremely intelligent and had a 4 year degree, so you would want to think that his success went hand in hand with his decision making skills...but unfortunately, DUI doesn't spare anyone....
so i would hope that maybe this little story would rest in the back of your head, if you ever thought that it would be ok to have a few drinks then drive...
The only time there is too much fuel onboard, is when you're on fire!
DL021 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 11454 posts, RR: 73
Reply 4, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 2088 times:
I feel for you both. I've lost friends to this, and there's nothing anyone can really say about it to undo the pain, and certainly nothing will undo whats been done.
You aren't responsible for your friends deaths, and all you can do now is to get through today and remember that about your friends you liked the most. You'll have the chance in the future to do something about others taking these risks and maybe help them make the right decisions.
777DadandJr From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 1516 posts, RR: 11
Reply 6, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 2030 times:
My condolences to you for the loss of your friend. It is natural to be angry because you see how his behavior led to his death. However, each of us is in charge of our own destiny and unfortunately sometimes we make the wrong choices.
I know you are hurting, but always try to remember the good times you had with your friend and be thankful that you at least were able to share some of that life with him.
My prayers are with you my friend.
My glass is neither 1/2 empty nor 1/2 full, rather, the glass itself is twice as big as it should be.
Saxdiva From United States of America, joined Jun 2004, 2384 posts, RR: 38
Reply 7, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 4 days 1 hour ago) and read 2012 times:
I'm very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the shock, sadness, and anger you've got to deal with. I lost my best friend in a similarly pointless way, and even though I've had 10 years to reflect on it I still can't make it make sense. To be talking about the future with someone one day and have them be gone 24 hours later--all because of a single stupid decision--defies comprehension.
I wish I could be more helpful. I will, however, keep you in my thoughts. Hang tough.
JumboJim747 From Australia, joined Oct 2004, 2465 posts, RR: 40
Reply 8, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 4 days 1 hour ago) and read 1988 times:
Sorry about your loss.
May he rest in peace and may this be a reminder to anyone who thinks its ok to drink and drive.
If you don't care about yourself think of what your parents ,relatives and friends will have to go through when you are gone.
PacificWestern From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 4 days ago) and read 1947 times:
No amount of pretty words will bring back your friend. I am very sorry for your loss. Grief is a bizarre ride in life and you're going to have to hold on. Allow yourself to feel how you are feeling. Don't try to deny your sadness or try to hide anything by false cheer. Things will only come back for you to deal with later. And never let anyone tell you how you "should" feel at any time. If you feel sad, you feel sad. If you find yourself laughing about something, it's okay to laugh.
Some days will be better for you than others, and you'll never get over your friend's death, but you will get through it. Keep telling yourself that during the dark moments. Share memories of your friend. It doesn't matter if those memories bring tears or laughter. What is important are the memories, full stop.
I wish you well during the difficult days ahead as you cope with losing someone who was part of your life.
Mika From Sweden, joined Jul 2000, 2917 posts, RR: 3
Reply 10, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 23 hours ago) and read 1934 times:
Thanks for sharing your story Aydin.
Like the rest of the people in this thread, i am sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Hang in there and remember that we all are going to walk that road one day, some of us earlier than others. Even though i know that words can only do so much, i know even better that time does indeed heal all wounds.
Allstarflyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 1876 times:
For someone who has nothing but anger for people who drive drunk, I realize there's a flip-side to the coin. The drunk driver killed here has loved-ones now left-behind and regardless of what he did, it's still a life lost, and that is regrettable. My condolences to you and his family for your loss.
USAIRWAYS321 From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 1853 posts, RR: 8
Reply 12, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 19 hours ago) and read 1849 times:
For what it's worth, I do feel your pain. Three years ago, I lost my stepbroher in a DUI accident. The first couple of weeks will be tough, but you just have to rememebr the good times instead of the bad and you'll get through it. I'm sorry for your loss, and wish you, as well as his family and friends, the best in these tough times.
ANCFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 18, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 14 hours ago) and read 1772 times:
My sympathies my friend . . . .
It's unfortunate your friend made the choice he made, for he and everone else. Hopefully there will be some good out of all this - someone will remember him next time they decide to make the same choice as he, and they take a different path.
NumberTwelve From Germany, joined Dec 2004, 1431 posts, RR: 9
Reply 19, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 14 hours ago) and read 1772 times:
Good morning, Pilot. Sorry to hear that and my condolences to you.
What you wrote is nothing unusual:
Quoting Pilotaydin (reply 0): As much as I really liked him, im so very upset that he was absolutely drunk beyond belief.... so i guess im angry, and upset at the same time....
This is what lots of people feel when they loose friends due to alcohol, drugs, suicide, etc. And in my opinion it's sort of justified and nothing to be ashamed to. It shows lots of respect to the person you are missing.
57AZ From United States of America, joined Nov 2004, 2586 posts, RR: 2
Reply 20, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 14 hours ago) and read 1761 times:
Terribly sorry to hear of your friend's loss. DUI is something that I deal with every day in my work. Out of all the criminal cases that we handle each day, DUI or Aggrivated DUI cases make up about half of the total cases. Illegal narcotics are just as bad-one reason that I do not see value in legalizing them but that's another story. I've been fortunate not to have lost anyone close to me to an intoxicated driver yet. The people that commit DUI refuse to realize that with DUI, a wreck is not a matter of if but when.
One anti-DUI message that sticks in my mind is Arizona's "I'm Not a Celebrity" public service message. It opens with an Arizona Deparment of Public Safety officer standing by a patrol car about to make a death notification. "Normally this time of year, a celebrity or some sports figure will come on tv and ask you not to drink and drive and remind you to wear your seatbelt. Well, it just doesn't work. You still risk your life and the lives of others. I'm no celebrity. I'm Seargent Golden of the Arizona Department of Public Safety. I'm just the guy who has to knock on the door at 2AM and tell your loved ones you won't be coming home anymore." There's hardly a night that I don't see one or more police cars pulled over performing a traffic stop. Every traffic stop that nets a DUI means lives saved, possibly that of you or a loved one. None for the road-It's driving time.
"When a man runs on railroads over half of his lifetime he is fit for nothing else-and at times he don't know that."
Bill142 From Australia, joined Aug 2004, 8493 posts, RR: 8
Reply 21, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 13 hours ago) and read 1755 times:
Quoting NumberTwelve (reply 19): This is what lots of people feel when they loose friends due to alcohol, drugs, suicide, etc. And in my opinion it's sort of justified and nothing to be ashamed to. It shows lots of respect to the person you are missing.
more then just that. My father died suddely of a heart attack 2 years ago this coming wednesday and to this day I still feel the greif and anger towards his passing. One of the best things that you can do, and I have learnt this from my own experience is to deal with it sooner rather then later. Talk to someone and always be supportive of your friends family. Your life will go back to normal sooner then theirs will and 2 years on my family still hasn't adjusted and probably never will. 'normal' for us now isn't what it was 2 years ago.
I'm very sorry for you and your friends family as there is nothing worse then loosing someone who is close to you, espcially as there is no time to say good bye.
Please accept my sympathies and condolences.
Redngold From United States of America, joined Mar 2000, 6907 posts, RR: 40
Reply 24, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 6 hours ago) and read 1702 times:
I'm sorry you lost your friend. We think drunk drivers who dies deserve to die horribly until it is someone we know... and then we realize that they are human beings, too. Perhaps you can honor your friend by sharing his bittersweet story in the futures.
My prayers are with you and his family.
Up, up and away!
: Pilotaydin, Sorry to hear for your loss. Its hard to believe that the people you know well can go just like that. My prayers are with you, your family
: Pilotaydin I am very sorry to hear about this news and my thoughts are with you and all those affected at this time. This friend sounds close to you a
: Pilotaydin, I'm sorry to hear the news about your friend. More so that he contributed to his death. Thankfully noone else was hurt or killed through h
: Hello everyone, thank you to all of you who posted here. Your thoughts and words have been more comforting than some of the people around me here, in
: I'm really sorry to hear about the accident. I know that this might sound shallow but the only thing we can do when such a thing happens is to remembe
: Pilotaydin I am very sorry for your loss. Losing a friend is very difficult as not many people can relate to your feelings, please accept my sincere s
: I'm sorry to hear about your loss, you have mine and I'm sure every other member of Airliners.net sincere condolences. -Charlie
: Sorry to hear of your loss. You and your friends families will be in my thoughts...take care....
: Sorry to hear about this, I cant begin to imagine how you feel, I've never had a close friend die before. Tom