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Friday Funny - 25-Feb-05  
User currently offlineMxCtrlr From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 2485 posts, RR: 32
Posted (11 years 2 months 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 1902 times:

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. " Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

MxCtrlr  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.  Smokin cool

DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(
4 replies: All unread, jump to last
User currently offlineMyt332 From Australia, joined Sep 2003, 9120 posts, RR: 67
Reply 1, posted (11 years 2 months 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 1847 times:

Lol, didn't see that one coming!

And since it's Friday, here's two pics I've been emailed.

New film coming soon

Exhibit 1 from the Michael Jackson Trial


One Life, Live it.
User currently offlineGkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 25337 posts, RR: 54
Reply 2, posted (11 years 2 months 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 1816 times:

LMAO  Laugh out loud  Laugh out loud

more than a line or two of text is probably not worth posting.

If you have an opinion on a topic

When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineMdsh00 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 4151 posts, RR: 8
Reply 3, posted (11 years 2 months 5 days 1 hour ago) and read 1739 times:

I don't know if this was posted before but here goes...

A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted pictures of herself back.

So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to his girl friend with the following note:

"I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."

"Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change."
User currently offlineBill142 From Australia, joined Aug 2004, 8505 posts, RR: 8
Reply 4, posted (11 years 2 months 4 days 13 hours ago) and read 1693 times:

Myt332: In relation to your first picture

The Royal Honeymoon.....

Camilla is very pleased with the wedding arrangements but has turned
down the Queen's offer of a weekend in Paris with a car and driver.

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