Matt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 44 Posted (13 years 11 months 2 weeks 14 hours ago) and read 2086 times:
I know many women that enjoy “flirting” with other guys. But is flirting really the harmless bit of friendliness that they would like us to believe? Now don’t get me wrong. I know that in certain instances (such as being a cocktail waitress in a bar) flirting is-to a certain degree-of some necessity-such as getting gratuities. But does that make it right?
But what about women that claim to be happily married? Why do they need to do it, if they are happily married, as they claim? What is the purpose of flirting? The way I see it, it is split evenly among two meanings.
The first is that they are “interested” in another person, and are trying to lay the groundwork for some kind of relationship. The other is that they like to get attention for themselves. I know that most ladies deny this, but I believe what I see, not what I hear.
Let’s take a closer look at the second scenario. This seems to be prevalent among women claiming to be in a happy marriage or long- term relationship. To me, any married woman, or one in a long-term relationship that flirts with other men is living in denial. Either that, or she is a bit too, shall we say, “loose”. Case in point: If they need to draw attention to themselves, then wouldn’t it be reasonable to assume that their significant other is not fulfilling that particular need? After all, if their partner or companion fulfills the attention part of the relationship, then as far as I can tell, there should be no need to flirt, right? Where is there any legitimate need to “lead on” some other guy? Now if their Other is not giving attention, or adequate companionship, then why is the woman in that relationship to begin with?
Sounds like denial to me.
So you come across a woman that is flirting with you. What typically happens? You sit and exchange some “small talk”. Then you have a drink or two. Then something to eat. If you are in a bar or club, then you have a little dance. Soon, that little dance escalates into a little “dirty dancing”, and then next thing you know, the two of you are at the “No-tell Motel”.
Cfalk From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (13 years 11 months 2 weeks 14 hours ago) and read 2051 times:
But it brings up something that only happened last night.
My 14 year old daughter and her friends flirt a lot with the boys. It's part of growing up (some never grow out of it.) I've tried to teach her not to take things too far because she can never know if a guy is going to take things into his own hands (litterally) if he thinks that she's been "giving all the signals".
So far, she seems to have kept to that, but has told me over the past year of another girl in her class who flirted like crazy with everyone, and has been sleeping with one boy after another (at 14). My daughter noted my disapproval, and stays away from that girl.
Last night she came home and told me that the girl's father had been arrested. Her father had been raping her for the past several years. She ended up telling a psycologist, who, in spite of her asking not to tell anyone, called the police.
My interpretation is that her overly flirtatious behaviour and promiscuity stemmed from the fact that, from her own father, that was the only "value" she saw in herself.
USAir1489 From United States of America, joined Oct 2000, 370 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (13 years 11 months 2 weeks 13 hours ago) and read 2037 times:
The way I see it - flirting can lead to kissing and kissing can lead to making out and the chain of links goes on and on. Heck, I flirt a lot with girls and it doesn't get out of hand because I do not want to be suffered with the consequences all the way down the road.
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Mcdougald From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (13 years 11 months 2 weeks 13 hours ago) and read 2026 times:
It depends on the extent of the flirting and the circumstances. A smile and an eyebrow flash on the street to a stranger -- even if the flirter is married -- is pretty harmless stuff. It just means the flirter is complimenting the flirtee for being nice to look at.
However, the best man rubbing the bride's knee (or vice-versa) under a table at a wedding reception is definitely dangerous.
767-322ETOPS From United States of America, joined May 2001, 324 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (13 years 11 months 2 weeks 8 hours ago) and read 1994 times:
As far as your original question where the person is married, etc., then it's a sign of insecurity. These people are effectively saying, "I'm insecure, and have a compulsion to do something that will make you pay attention to me."
What causes them to do this is a good question, probably messed up home life, etc. would contribute. Obviously there is some emotional damage there.
CYKA From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (13 years 11 months 2 weeks 3 hours ago) and read 1973 times:
I think long term relationships came with christianity. Those who belived in all that stuff (for reasons unknown to me) came up with the idea tht long-term relationships are what some god wants of them.
To me such a thought is denial of basic human(animal) insticts such as reproduction. All animals mate with diffrent partners every time and even with multiple mates at the same time. Humans, being animals have a subconcious need to do the same. It is wired into our brains. Staying and mating with one individual is not a good way of making sure you genes are passed down through generations as the partners genes may kill your offspring before they reproduce.
This is why women and man flirt and have one night stands. Their bodies are telling them to go procrate with another partener, while the "ideals" of our society are gettting in the way.
So yes Matt, they do want to procreate with the person they are flirting with(even though they might not realize it) but what they have been tought from childhood is preveting that from happening.
So we need to ask ourseleves, is it right to deny what and who we truly are?
Aussiemite From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (13 years 11 months 1 week 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 1944 times:
I work in sales and On-site support for IT realated equipment, I sell mostly into corporate and government most of the time its women I deal with who act as reps for their companies.
In general women flirt like crazy (spe with such a good looking salesman) I give a little back but I know where to draw the line and how to use it to my advantage to "rape" a sale.
Basiclly what I do is take control of them and tell them what they want, I am the expert in the field theyre the consumer, as far as retail goes I dont care if you have to mortgage your house you need what im offering.
CYKA From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (13 years 11 months 1 week 5 days 23 hours ago) and read 1917 times:
They are birds, not advanced forms of life like mammals. Their pinhead brains are no match for ours, unless your saying that they are just as intelegent as people who are "faithfull" in which case I will have to agree with you.
If your still not convinced; do these swans which mate for life initiate mating rituals with other swans as humans do with strangers eventhough they are involved in a "relationship" (ie:flirting)?