Gkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24621 posts, RR: 58 Reply 2, posted (8 years 2 months 1 week 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 994 times:
Sorry Banco, but you are either Chris Waddle or one of the Chuckle Brothers. Now which is it?
And if it is one of the Chuckle Brothers then it's obvious your brother is Andreas
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
Andreas From Germany, joined Oct 2001, 6104 posts, RR: 34 Reply 8, posted (8 years 2 months 1 week 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 935 times:
They don't? Funny I thought they did...it's the sheep shaggers that don't shave, right Kirkie? And why should they? One can keep the other warm during those long hard Scottish nights.
Andreas From Germany, joined Oct 2001, 6104 posts, RR: 34 Reply 10, posted (8 years 2 months 1 week 5 days 4 hours ago) and read 899 times:
Afraid not! Not even close to being good enough!
Quoting Banco (Reply 9): The fact that I'm not German
So you say....Reading your posts I imagine a big beer-bellied mullet-wearing guy sitting somewhere in the middle of nowhere in New-5-Land, with Bayern Munich poster on the wall and the complete Hasselhoff collection. In fact, come to think of it...you could be Kirkie's sheep shagging pal, too!! Ok, that goes for many Engelaenders, too
Gkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24621 posts, RR: 58 Reply 12, posted (8 years 2 months 1 week 5 days 4 hours ago) and read 883 times:
Quoting Andreas (Reply 10): Reading your posts I imagine a big beer-bellied mullet-wearing guy sitting somewhere in the middle of nowhere in New-5-Land, with Bayern Munich poster on the wall and the complete Hasselhoff collection.
Sounds suspiciously like our Computer Geek friend, Klaus
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
Banco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 55 Reply 13, posted (8 years 2 months 1 week 5 days 4 hours ago) and read 883 times:
Quoting NoUFO (Reply 11): No, since Chris Waddle does wear a mullet.
I must admit, that's a pretty fair point.
Quoting Andreas (Reply 10): So you say....Reading your posts I imagine a big beer-bellied mullet-wearing guy sitting somewhere in the middle of nowhere in New-5-Land, with Bayern Munich poster on the wall and the complete Hasselhoff collection. In fact, come to think of it...you could be Kirkie's sheep shagging pal, too!! Ok, that goes for many Engelaenders, too
My God, what an appalling thing to behold. Andreas sees me as his sexual fantasy! Please, God, no, I feel sick. the only saving grace is that, thankfully, I am nothing like his dream at all. That is a definite relief, though I believe that Klaus is now feeling somewhat nervous.
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
Andreas From Germany, joined Oct 2001, 6104 posts, RR: 34 Reply 16, posted (8 years 2 months 1 week 4 days 10 hours ago) and read 793 times:
Klaus and Banco:
What is it with you guys...whatever someone says, you two start thinking in sexual terms IMMEDIATELY!!!! You know, you should really try to get a life sometime...maybe talk to real people, possibly*GASP* to ...girls...or sheep, if that's your cup of tea, Kirkie would be delighted to help, I guess!
You'll find that very entertaining...though on the other hand...nah, probably not!
Banco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 55 Reply 17, posted (8 years 2 months 1 week 4 days 10 hours ago) and read 792 times:
Possibly because it has become so apparent over the last few years what a genuinely twisted individual you are, Andreas. One only has to see how excited you get whenever sheep, mullets, David Hasselhoff or lederhosen is mentioned to know that you have these fantasies.
Seek help, old boy.
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
Andreas From Germany, joined Oct 2001, 6104 posts, RR: 34 Reply 18, posted (8 years 2 months 1 week 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 787 times:
I knew something is fundamentally wrong with you the very first moment you started to talk about English football..and your wet fantasies about actually winning some tournament.
Now this signature of yours, bringing in old ladies...that's sick, you know...really sick!! That's why you like Rooney ...you share his passion for older girls! Mother complex or whatever it is called. Banco...you need to take care of that..or do you really want to end up like Kirkie over sheep????...or like Klaus, for that matter?
Banco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 55 Reply 19, posted (8 years 2 months 1 week 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 785 times:
I notice you haven't denied what I said about you, Andreas.
Quoting Andreas (Reply 18): and your wet fantasies about actually winning some tournament.
Well, that bit's true actually. When the national team consistently fail, then you dream of winning, don't you? I seem cursed in that regard, what with England and Manchester City. Both have been gloriously inept across the years.
Andreas From Germany, joined Oct 2001, 6104 posts, RR: 34 Reply 20, posted (8 years 2 months 1 week 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 775 times:
Why denying what is clearly nonsense...YOU do that all the time, and Kirkie when it comes to sheep..and did it help you? No, not at all, quite the contrary!!
Quoting Banco (Reply 19): Below the belt. Apologise now, sir!
No way, this is a very serious warning, I'm not sure if there is still rescue for you, but you have to try, try real hard, to avoid such a fate, just don't give up!!!! (Of course you're bound to lose, since you're English, but you, giving in is not what I'd expect from you!)
Banco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 55 Reply 21, posted (8 years 2 months 1 week 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 773 times:
Quoting Andreas (Reply 20): No way, this is a very serious warning, I'm not sure if there is still rescue for you, but you have to try, try real hard, to avoid such a fate, just don't give up!!!! (Of course you're bound to lose, since you're English, but you, giving in is not what I'd expect from you!)
You are saying that I would be like (spit) a German. Like you. That's a truly horrific thought. As we know, Britons and Germans are very different, and the prospect of becoming similar to yourself fills me with horror.
Wars have started over lesser insults, and as we all know, you lot have a habit of getting stuffed.
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
JGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 22, posted (8 years 2 months 1 week 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 769 times:
Quoting Banco (Reply 21): Wars have started over lesser insults, and as we all know, you lot have a habit of getting stuffed.
This is true. WW1 was in fact triggered by Edward VII calling Kaiser Wilhelm II a "fat spotty mare who thinks she's rough trade because of that appalling moustache !" Kaiser Wilhelm responded by slapping Edward viciously with his sequined evening clutch purse, called him "an old beardie perv" and stormed out of the room. It was nothing to do with Archduke Franz Ferdinand (whose assassination was ordered by Wilhelm after he (the Archduke) compared Wilhelms latest Molyneux evening gown to "laundry day on the Cutty Sark".
Andreas From Germany, joined Oct 2001, 6104 posts, RR: 34 Reply 23, posted (8 years 2 months 1 week 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 769 times:
Quoting Banco (Reply 21): You are saying that I would be like (spit) a German
NO, you silly moron!!! Like Klaus, which is different, you know, v-e-r-y different...and didn't he say once he's Austrian?? Which would be like being a Scot, except that nobody really knows what THEY are shagging...not that anybody in his right mind WANTS to know...
Quoting Banco (Reply 21): and the prospect of becoming similar to yourself fills me with horror
Banco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 55 Reply 24, posted (8 years 2 months 1 week 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 757 times:
Quoting Andreas (Reply 23): Like Klaus, which is different, you know, v-e-r-y different
Indeed not. Klaus is the archetypal German, as you well know. Denying it merely re-inforces everyone's opinion.
Quoting Andreas (Reply 23): Yep, we call this "the fear of winning"
Indeed. So much so, in fact,that you have to come over to the UK in order to make a living. We have a long history of taking in the poor unfortunates of Europe, and you are just another one.
Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 22): This is true. WW1 was in fact triggered by Edward VII calling Kaiser Wilhelm II....
I believe the final straw came when Mrs Kaiser was asked outside by David Lloyd George, who suggested that she might like a little twirl on his moustache. The unfortunate lady, totally misunderstanding him due to the rather peculiar goings on in the Wilhelm household, suspected having to endure another typically Germanic lederhosen session and slapped him around the face. Lloyd George was horrified, given that no female had ever refused him before, and resolved to save her, saying that she would be much better off in Holland where they "don't do that sort of thing".
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
25 JGPH1A: Well can you blame the poor woman ? Those things chafe something awful ! And you don't even want to KNOW what they do with the bratwurst...
26 Banco: Ah! The voice of experience... Were you held prisoner by a German family at some point? I find it hard to believe that you would submit willingly[E
27 JGPH1A: No no, I only heard about it. A....friend, you know. More of an acquaintance really. Not me, goodness no !
28 Banco: This...acquaintance. He wouldn't have a name beginning with "A", ending with "s" and having "ndrea" in the middle would he? I've often suspected, you
29 Scotty: Hey - you leave my burd oot of this. Baaaaaaaa
31 Gkirk: Now now, why the talk of war? Andreas and Klaus, as Germans you should be used to getting your arses kicked. JGPH1A, as a French frog, you should be u
32 Andreas: See it's starting again, this unhealthy obsession..now it's the Bratwurst to bring forth a clear stroke of penis envy..and this strange fact that he
33 Scotty: But of course. Proud to be a sheepsha**er
34 JGPH1A: Well of course, one should never mention names (a gentleman NEVER tells), ahem but, well nudge nudge wink wink say no more. Sigh. We are conducting a
35 Thom@s: Is GKirk really Groundskeeper Willey? (Sad punchline, I know...) Thom@s
36 JGPH1A: Well you know, Stockholm Syndrome - it can happen to the best of us. Still can't walk past a deli counter without going weak at the knees.
37 Banco: This is of course true. But it does explain why I have heard Kirkie talking about Andreas as his "bitch". Regrettably, we must take some responsibili
38 JGPH1A: Since my last gem on this thread got canned for being "Flamebait", just a little hint to future guardians of public morality. When Banco and I start b
39 Banco: No? You've got to be kidding me! Take it as a compliment. Clearly what you were saying was plausible to the uninitiated!
40 JGPH1A: Oh dear ! Maybe you're right. Sophisticated humour - must be an English thing
41 NoUFO: Nonsense, we Germans are the true society of honourable gentlemen (and ladies, I may add): A sausage a day keeps the pig invasion away.
42 JGPH1A: Ngggnnhh ngggnngghhh !! (That's the sound of me biting my tongue !)
43 NoUFO: You are biting your tongue? Doesn't that hurt? And why are you doing it anyway? You may say what you want (yeah, difficult with your tongue stuck betw
Sponsor Message: 
From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24621 posts, 
From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, 
From Germany, joined Apr 2001, 7796 posts, 
over sheep????...or like Klaus, for that matter?
From , joined Dec 1969, posts, 
moron!!! Like Klaus, which is different, you know, v-e-r-y different...and didn't he say once he's Austrian?? 
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