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Ode To Peanut Butter  
User currently offlineTWFirst From Vatican City, joined Apr 2000, 6346 posts, RR: 52
Posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 1966 times:

Oh Jif, oh Jif, your taste is divine
How peanuts, salt, sugar and oil combine
To form a great spread, a smooth salve for my lips
Smeared on wheat bread, toast, crackers quite crisp

I love you for breakfast
I love you for lunch
I love you for snacks
I love you a bunch

Contrary to norm, I prefer you plain, based
On jelly's detraction
From peanutty taste

So smear you I will
Alone and quite thick
The roof of my mouth
I know you will stick

I'll chomp and I'll chew,
Take a drink, then engorge ya
Your heavenly goodness
Comes straight from Georgia

Yum.


The end.


An unexamined life isn't worth living.
26 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineLogan22L From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 1962 times:

This really isn't about peanut butter, is it?  Wink

Logan


User currently offlineTWFirst From Vatican City, joined Apr 2000, 6346 posts, RR: 52
Reply 2, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 1959 times:

Actually Logan... although I am a master of euphemism and sexual innuendo...

this really IS about peanut butter.


I'm hungry and want to go home!


 Big grin



An unexamined life isn't worth living.
User currently offlineJasepl From India, joined Jul 2004, 3582 posts, RR: 39
Reply 3, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 1957 times:

Look who it's coming from John! Of course it isn't!  Wink

User currently offlineMdsh00 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 4124 posts, RR: 8
Reply 4, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 1944 times:

TWFirst....we don't wanna hear about your pleasure at Tossin' Salads okay?  Smile


"Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change."
User currently offlineTWFirst From Vatican City, joined Apr 2000, 6346 posts, RR: 52
Reply 5, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 1941 times:

As my chain smokin', whiskey-drinkin' Irish grandma used to say....

"You kids are dirty"...


This is about Jif, plain and simple.
Not Skippy
Not Peter Pan
Not generic brand

Right now, peanut butter is one of the very few things that make me proud to be American.



An unexamined life isn't worth living.
User currently offlineDL021 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 11446 posts, RR: 76
Reply 6, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 2 days 12 hours ago) and read 1923 times:
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TWFirst....At last. Something upon which we agree!!

Except that I prefer Skippy and like jelly along with it.

Have you tried warm pound cake with peanut butter?

You have to try GW Carver brand peanut butter too. It's terrific.

All the rest of you clowns can stick to your Nutella or whatever, peanut butter is ambrosia.



Is my Pan Am ticket to the moon still good?
User currently offlineVaporlock From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 2 days 11 hours ago) and read 1913 times:

Ah, peanut butter.....is the best!!!! But here in Canada "KRAFT" is the best and I only eat crunchy...  cheerful 

Phyllis  bouncy 


User currently offlineFalcon84 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1905 times:

Phyllis, you're a "crunchy" freak? Wow! We find something we differ on. I'm only into creamy Peanut butter with my Smuckers grape jelly.  Big grin

User currently offlineVaporlock From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1903 times:

Falcon84, wow, I must admit that Smuckers Grape Jelly is yummie....I'll have to try it with crunchy peanut butter....LOL As far as finding something we differ on...I'm sure I could help you change your mind!!!  innocent 

Phyllis  bouncy 


User currently offlineLucky727 From Canada, joined Sep 2003, 602 posts, RR: 2
Reply 10, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1896 times:

OMG, now I've heard everything...a thread about peanut butter... no   Confused

Come to think of it - some Kraft *smoooth* on toast would be good right now.

...and I want to go home too  Sad



··· [·] oooooooo [·] oooo oo ooooo [·] ooooooooooooooooooo [·]
User currently offlineDL021 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 11446 posts, RR: 76
Reply 11, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 1879 times:
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I like Smuckers strawberry preserves along with crunchy or creamy Skippy. On Sunbeam white bread, or bakery rye (Jewish or Dark German), as well as on ROman Meal WHeat. Toasted or no, both ways are good.

Now, this is a thread I can sink my teeth into.......  mischievous 



Is my Pan Am ticket to the moon still good?
User currently offlineJc2354 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 572 posts, RR: 0
Reply 12, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 2 days ago) and read 1861 times:

Have you ever had peanut butter fudge? Try it! So easy, too. This will definitely make all peanut butter lovers ooze for an evening!

1 cup butter, 1 cup peanut butter.
Microwave on HI for 2 minutes.
Stir.
Microwave on HI for 2 more minutes.
Stir.
Mix in 1 tbsp Vanilla and a box (1 pound) of powdered sugar.

Pour into pan.
Refrigerate for about an hour.
Enjoy!



If not now, then when?
User currently offlineN5176Y From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 2 days ago) and read 1859 times:

Why does peanut butter stick to the roof of your mouth? No other food causes this problem, not even cream cheese.  Confused

User currently offlineTWFirst From Vatican City, joined Apr 2000, 6346 posts, RR: 52
Reply 14, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 1846 times:

Quoting N5176Y (Reply 13):
Why does peanut butter stick to the roof of your mouth? No other food causes this problem, not even cream cheese.

Because Jesus wants it to....



An unexamined life isn't worth living.
User currently offlineSlamClick From United States of America, joined Nov 2003, 10062 posts, RR: 68
Reply 15, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 1844 times:

Trivia question: What else was peanut butter used for during the Vietnam war?

Answer: The C-ration can of peanut butter was a good substitute for Sterno (for heating purposes, not to eat) Just open the little can which was just smaller than a shoe polish can, and saturate the peanut butter with the military issue insect repellant. Stir it together well and it would burn long enough to heat your entree.

Hint: Don't eat the residue! It is NOT peanut brittle.



Happiness is not seeing another trite Ste. Maarten photo all week long.
User currently offlineDL021 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 11446 posts, RR: 76
Reply 16, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 1 day 19 hours ago) and read 1835 times:
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I guess all that peanut oil mixed with an accelerant made vegetable napalm.

Peanut butter is Natures perfect food. You can eat it by itself, or use it for sandwiches, or have anutter Nutter Butter Peanut Samwich Cookie. (A.net pun  Wink )



Is my Pan Am ticket to the moon still good?
User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11951 posts, RR: 47
Reply 17, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 1828 times:

I was going to say "slow day eh TWFirst?", but now that this has actually turned into a rather serious discussion I just want to say...

...well done TWfirst.  Smile

Thom@s



"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
User currently offlinePROSA From United States of America, joined Oct 2001, 5632 posts, RR: 5
Reply 18, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 1825 times:

Chemically laden mass market peanut butter as sold in supermarkets is junk. You've got to try the natural type, sold in specialty shops and some larger supermarkets, that's made with nothing but peanuts and a little salt. Abolutely no comparison.


"Let me think about it" = the coward's way of saying "no"
User currently offlineN229NW From United States of America, joined Sep 2004, 1938 posts, RR: 32
Reply 19, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 1 day 17 hours ago) and read 1818 times:

Prosa,

You're right. No comparison. The Skippy and Jif are a ZILLION times better imho.  biggrin 

Besides, there are studies that show that organic and "natural" peanut butters have the highest levels of carcinogenic aflatoxins (mold that grows on the peanuts), while the lowest levels were found in the big name brands skippy, jif, etc.

On the other hand, the big brands tend to have hydrogenated oils in them , which are bad for you in other ways...oh well



It's people like you what cause unrest!
User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 20, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 1 day 17 hours ago) and read 1812 times:

Quoting Falcon84 (Reply 8):
I'm only into creamy Peanut butter with my Smuckers grape jelly

Blasphemy ! Abomination ! I call down a Fatwah upon you ! Peanut butter and jelly is an affront to God and man - it is the sputum of Beelzebub !

Peanut butter was meant to be eaten

a) on toast
b) crunchy (or chunky, for our colonial brethren)
c) on its OWN !

Inspired by TWFirsts epic oeuvre (bravo, by the way - worthy of Keats himself) I present for your esteemed consideration

Peanut Butter (a haiku)

Dark perfect Toast
thick with beige ambrosia
and dunked in coffee.
Heaven.


User currently offlinePurpleheepster From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2005, 62 posts, RR: 0
Reply 21, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 1 day 17 hours ago) and read 1808 times:

Peanut butter makes me barf!

User currently offlineDL021 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 11446 posts, RR: 76
Reply 22, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 1 day 15 hours ago) and read 1803 times:
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Speaking as one who comes from the Peanut capital of the world (next to Alabama some years) I can say with authority that its CHUNKY

Quoting TWFirst (Reply 14):
Quoting N5176Y (Reply 13):
Why does peanut butter stick to the roof of your mouth? No other food causes this problem, not even cream cheese.

Because Jesus wants it to....

 rotfl  How true!!

Quoting DL021 (Reply 6):
All the rest of you clowns can stick to your Nutella or whatever, peanut butter is ambrosia.

Just thought it bore repeating.

Quoting Purpleheepster (Reply 21):
Peanut butter makes me barf!

Yeah, well you drink your beer warm and eat mushy peas with kippers so your palette distress over ambrosia is less than unexpected.

goodnight jonboy



Is my Pan Am ticket to the moon still good?
User currently offlineTWFirst From Vatican City, joined Apr 2000, 6346 posts, RR: 52
Reply 23, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 1 day 9 hours ago) and read 1785 times:

Quoting Purpleheepster (Reply 21):
Peanut butter makes me barf!

This from a citizen of the country that invented stuffed sheep stomach and steak and kidney pie....



An unexamined life isn't worth living.
User currently offlineZRH From Switzerland, joined Nov 1999, 5566 posts, RR: 36
Reply 24, posted (9 years 4 months 2 weeks 1 day 9 hours ago) and read 1783 times:

The only thing what I can say to peanut butter is:

 yuck   yuck   yuck 


25 Allstarflyer : Ditto here. Good thread. ZRH, what's it like in your world? No to PB? Peanut butter helps me eat carrots. Peanut butter helps me down a Mr. Goodbar.
26 Allstarflyer : Just messing around, ZRH. I know some folks who don't like PB. I am curious, though - if you don't like PB, where then would lie your sweet tooth? -R
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