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Purely A Coincidence...or Fate?  
User currently offlineStevenUhl777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 3 days 13 hours ago) and read 1778 times:

I just had a strange coincidence happen to me, but the more I think about it, maybe it's fate, perhaps things really DO happen for a reason.

Anyhow...here goes, starting from the beginning.

For about three years now, I have been riding on a commuter bus between my home near PAE to my job in downtown Seattle. Starting in about July or August 2003, probably the most beautiful woman I've ever met started riding the bus, having apparently bought a home in the area. I noticed her right away and am still in amazement at how gorgeous she is. About 5'5" I'd say, short blonde hair, blue eyes, a little chunky, and an amazing smile. Exactly the type of girl I always fall for, I definitely have a preference for blondes. She dresses very well, and gives off a sense of sophistication and intelligence and class...again, the kind of gal that I'm drawn to.

As with just about every other straight guy here on a-net, it was difficult if not nearly impossible for me to get up the courage to approach and talk to her. I saw her every day, she sat across from me on the bus, but even at 30, I still struggled with it, based on my many bad past experiences with women.

By the time January 2004 rolled around, after some 5-6 months had passed, and getting some inspiration by having watched "Average Joe-Hawaii", I finally decided that even if I made a total fool of myself, I would talk to this girl. So, one morning when she was looking particuluarly terrific, I finally said..."you look terrific today!". She smiled and said thank you, and we had a pleasant 5 minute conversation on a variety of things, which went well, and I didn't choke up or say anything stupid. I learned this gal's name was "Julie". I realize this is stupid to do in the first conversation, but I also asked if she was married, and to that she smiled back, and said no, but that she was "seeing someone." Great, I thought...classic response, but not a surprise, given what she's like.

Over the next few weeks, 'Julie' and I exchanged smiles and small talk on the bus. Since I was doing pretty well, and hadn't made an idiot of myself yet, I decided to play dumb and conveniently forget she had told me she was seeing someone at the time. After we got off the bus one day, I asked her if she wanted to meet up for coffee and chat, and get to know one another, since it was hard to do so on a bus. She seemed nervous and reminded me again that she was seeing someone. I felt stupid all day long. The next day, I apologized for putting her on the spot and for making her feel uncomfortable, and kindly said I hope things worked out for her. The next several times we saw one another, it seemed awkward and I didn't say much more to her after that. About a month later, she stopped riding the bus altogether, and I figured I had freaked her out, or maybe she moved, or got another job. Anyhow, she was gone, and knew I wouldn't see her again....

...or so I thought at the time.

Fast forward to this past Wednesday, March 30th. Since I'm trying to get into the MBA program at Seattle University, I have to take a business calculus class first and pass it. The class started on Weds., and I got there with about 10 minutes to spare, and most people were already in the room. I went to the back, found a chair, and as I was taking off my coat I noticed someone out of the corner of my eye. I sat down and the first thing that came to my mind was that this gal on the other side of the classroom was Julie. Wasn't sure, thought to myself, "no way...couldn't be." Well, I happened to glance around the room a few times and she was doing the same, and that confirmed it. It was "Julie"!!! About half way through the class, we had a break, and when I came back she had already sat down and we smiled at one another and exchanged pleasantries for a few seconds, but did not talk after class got out.

So what do you think? Coincidence that I would see her again? Or is it another chance to forget what happened in the past and maybe start over in a different way? I have no idea if she is still seeing that same person (I assume it's a guy, but never established that 100%) or maybe single so she could concentrate on school, or seeing someone new.

What should I do? My thinking is continue to be cordial and respectful, but not rush things by any means.

Has anyone had something like this happen to them, or a coincidence or chance meeting like that? Share your story!

27 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineOzarkD9S From United States of America, joined Oct 2001, 5111 posts, RR: 21
Reply 1, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 3 days 13 hours ago) and read 1763 times:

I once met someone repeatadly on the St Louis Metrolink. We eventually had sex a few times. Then we went our seperate ways. No biggie............


Next Up: STL-LGA-RIC-ATL-STL
User currently offlineN317AS From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 3 days 13 hours ago) and read 1761 times:

If you were Flairport I would say it was an intentional meeting. But since it's you, I think it's fate. I wouldn't push to hard, but you got to make a move, otherwise you'll be kicking yourself forever, for not doing anything. Forever being until the next hot blond comes along. Big grin

User currently offlineFlyVirgin744 From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 1313 posts, RR: 1
Reply 3, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 3 days 12 hours ago) and read 1754 times:

I'll have to be honest with you, I read this delightful anecdote thinking it was gonna end with the two of you getting together, so I was a little disappointed.

It is a coincidence that you landed in the same class, I just hope she feels you didn't stalk her to get there.  Smile

As I far as I'm concerned, you already asked her twice. So you have two options, just let it alone and see how things go, or just walk up to her, be frank and ask her if she is still seeing that guy. That way you will know and you can stop your pondering, and perhaps learn some fun stuff like integration.



Sometimes I go about in pity for myself and all the while a great wind carries me across the sky.
User currently offlineMTChemNerd757 From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 230 posts, RR: 2
Reply 4, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 3 days 12 hours ago) and read 1742 times:

I agree with FlyVirgin. I mean, what have you to lose? You live in freaking Seattle dude!!! Butt-loads of hot girls there. You'll be alright. Go talk to her, and then let it be. Whatever happens is what was meant to be. If she says no, it's cuz there's somebody else out there waiting for you...

Brad



Fight Terrorism - Ride a Bike!
User currently offlineMTChemNerd757 From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 230 posts, RR: 2
Reply 5, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 3 days 12 hours ago) and read 1741 times:

Oh yah, forgot to mention...Talking about the class is a good way to find out more about her.... (i.e. So why are you taking this class? That's your major??? You're nuts! etc etc) Oh, and studying together always leads to good things, too.  Smile

Brad



Fight Terrorism - Ride a Bike!
User currently offlineBackfire From Germany, joined Oct 2006, 0 posts, RR: 0
Reply 6, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 3 days 12 hours ago) and read 1737 times:

Quoting FlyVirgin744 (Reply 3):
I just hope she feels you didn't stalk her to get there

Maybe she's the one stalking you... Big grin


User currently offlineAerorobnz From Rwanda, joined Feb 2001, 7193 posts, RR: 13
Reply 7, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1726 times:

Purely a coincidence. Seattle is not a large place, it's only about 572,600 people so it is inevitable that you will meet many of these over again in various aspects of your day to day life, especially as you are part of the same age demographic the odds go down considerably..
That said it's up to you to do the job now if you want a chance with her. Push gently like you did the first time around, of course she may not have been interested the first time around....whatever...take your opportunities and run with them, however they came about.


User currently offlineZKSUJ From New Zealand, joined May 2004, 7107 posts, RR: 11
Reply 8, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 3 days 9 hours ago) and read 1711 times:

Just casually ask her how things are and try slip in something like, 'did your boyfriend move here with you' or something like that. Not obvious but questioning at the same time.
That is when you will know where you stand.

Good luck hope everything works out well


User currently offlineAJBUS300 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 316 posts, RR: 0
Reply 9, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 1678 times:

Considering you already made a move on her (asking her out) and she said no, give it up. Just let things chill and dont seem so taken by her, last thing you want to do. So, if the relationship with the "other" person doesn't work out....and she is interested in you, then she might start trying to talk to you again since she knows you are interested in her. You could call it fate but I think it is coincidence.......personal past experiences have taught me that just because something was "fate", doesn't mean it will work......past relationship is prime example for me.


Live each day as if it was your last day on God's beautiful green earth
User currently offlineStevenUhl777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 3 days ago) and read 1655 times:

Thanks for the replies, everyone!

During the whole time, we've always at least been "civil" (for lack of a better word) in that we've at least said hello or smiled or whatever...even after she said no the 2nd time, it didn't seem like she despised me or anything, and she seemed happy seeing me again on Weds., i.e. she smiled and was nice like in the past, indicating to me there were no hard feelings on her part.

Right now, I'm focused on my goal, that is, passing this class and ultimately finishing my graduate degree, be it the MBA or Master in Int'l. Business (I hope to live/work in Berlin one day!). She may only be taking this one class, or perhaps I'll see her in future classes. I think the best course is to "hang back" and continue the small talk, etc. and see where it goes. I would guess she feels the same way, since she figures she'll be seeing me in more classes down the road. Time will tell, I guess.

Again, thanks for reading all that and taking the time to offer your thoughts.


User currently offlineJetjack74 From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 7410 posts, RR: 50
Reply 11, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 1625 times:
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I would chalk it up to ramdom coincidence. Seattle, like Portland is awfully easy to bump into people. I live in Belltown, and run into people all the time, here and in other parts of the Seattle/Puget Sound area.


Made from jets!
User currently offlineMika From Sweden, joined Jul 2000, 2881 posts, RR: 3
Reply 12, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 1622 times:

Whatever happens is what was meant to be. If she says no, it's cuz there's somebody else out there waiting for you...

Amen to that, amen. However hard this is to realise at times, it is the most true thing there is.


Good luck with your quest Steven, just play it calmly and slowly and things will work out just fine.


User currently offlineMika From Sweden, joined Jul 2000, 2881 posts, RR: 3
Reply 13, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 1619 times:

And yes, i do believe that it's fate. That said though, it doesnt nescessarily mean that the two of you are by fate meant to be together, the reason could also be something else that pertains to you and/or her.

User currently offlineSlamClick From United States of America, joined Nov 2003, 10062 posts, RR: 68
Reply 14, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 1604 times:

Quoting StevenUhl777 (Reply 10):
indicating to me there were no hard feelings on her part.

Assuming you didn't back her into a corner or scare her, why would there be hard feelings? Women are flattered and pleased when a man finds them attractive, just so long as you don't creep them out!

I believe in an honest and direct, no-games approach to this. If you feel you've made your interest clear, step back. Stand by to be a casual friend for a while. If she stays with this guy, step back again. If she doesn't, well there you are.

Female members - do you agree?



Happiness is not seeing another trite Ste. Maarten photo all week long.
User currently offlineFlyboyOz From Australia, joined Nov 2000, 1986 posts, RR: 25
Reply 15, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 1598 times:

Well...it's not concidence and fate!!!! Our world is getting smaller and smaller! When I join the group, I met some of my old friends from primary schools and high schools. We were so happy to see each other again. Also I met them (and new friends) again in the shopping centre.


The Spirit of AustraliAN - Longreach
User currently offlineUH60FtRucker From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 16, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 1581 times:

Quoting MTChemNerd757 (Reply 5):
Oh yah, forgot to mention...Talking about the class is a good way to find out more about her.... (i.e. So why are you taking this class? That's your major??? You're nuts! etc etc)

I agree with MTChem... this is a great suggestion to get the ball rolling. But also, I'd suggest that you're careful not to be the one to always initiate the conversation. By not always running over to talk to her, you'll come across more confident and not desperate. Another small suggestion - maybe consider wearing your better clothes - try and impress her. Also, I wouldn't push the whole boyfriend issue. Keep the conversation going, get her more comfortable and usually something like that finds its way naturally into a conversation.

Good luck man - and MTChem is also right... Seatle has plenty of hot women!

-UH60


User currently offlineSESGDL From United States of America, joined Jan 2001, 3483 posts, RR: 10
Reply 17, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1532 times:

Quoting Aerorobnz (Reply 7):
Purely a coincidence. Seattle is not a large place, it's only about 572,600 people so it is inevitable that you will meet many of these over again in various aspects of your day to day life, especially as you are part of the same age demographic the odds go down considerably..

The Seattle metro area has over 3.5 million people, what are you talking about?

Anyway, it could be fate or coincidence. Wait and see.

Jeremy


User currently offlineDiamond From United States of America, joined Apr 2004, 3279 posts, RR: 63
Reply 18, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1533 times:

You've already expressed your 'curiousity' in her twice, and both times it made her a little nervous. Don't make that mistake again.

You've described her as someone who is classy and has it together. No doubt she is attracted to people who possess those same traits.

Be friendly. Be happy. Be available. And give her plenty of room.

If she wants to get closer to you, it's her turn to make a move.



Blank.
User currently offlinePlanespotting From United States of America, joined Apr 2004, 3527 posts, RR: 5
Reply 19, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1523 times:

well i myself was apart of some strange circumstances like this.

it seemed everything came together in the right way for us to meet, but nothing was coming together right for us to actually get to know each other and be together. It's probably been the biggest fascination and/or obsession i've had in my life, and i still think about her even though we've only seen each other twice in the past 2 years (we've talked online and on the phone a lot more though - see my post in the cell phone book thead). It has not been healthy for me, as basically i didn't get into any relationships for over 20 months after i first met her as i was holding out for her. Sometimes i finally feel like things are wrapping up with it and other times i want nothing more than to do everything i can to possibly be with her including moving, changing schools, changing majors, etc...

luckily i am pretty rational on things and realize this would be stupidity.


so coming from a guy who knows how you are feeling, if you really feel things could work out, try and be her friend first, dont make her feel like you want to date her. casually throw out something about a girl you've been seeing or something like that. don't appear desperate (that drives them away).

and also, from personal experience, do not get drunk and profess your attraction to her on AOL Instant Messenger more than once. i have a lot of these "from personal experience" things about what not to do so ...hehe



Do you like movies about gladiators?
User currently offlineNoUFO From Germany, joined Apr 2001, 7957 posts, RR: 12
Reply 20, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1511 times:

Back at those days when I was still studying, I saw a girl who seemed to be nice, but I had a g/f and was't really that much interested to get in touch with her. The next time I met her was at DUS: She and her boyfriend booked the same flight to GLA like we - me and my girlfriend - did.
The third time I saw her was in Scotland, Isle of Mull. We thought some wise guy up there wanted us to become friends.
We eventuelly lost track of each other but had a great friendship for many years to come.

The day when I saw her again in Scotland, she told me of a guy she knew, who saw the woman he later married a couple of times in Hamburg but never had the heart to talk to her. He later met her again - on top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

Some years ago, I literally ran into one really terrific looking woman (and I was single, haha). I said that this ought to happen in cheap c-grade movies only and that they than have a coffee first, then they marry, have children and live happily ever after. She said: "Yeah, how about some coffee?" Big grin
We had a good time for a couple of months (incl. nights), but all of a sudden she left.  Sad

Quoting StevenUhl777 (Thread starter):
My thinking is continue to be cordial and respectful, but not rush things by any means.

Absolutely. Good luck.



I support the right to arm bears
User currently offlineStevenUhl777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 21, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1501 times:

Quoting SESGDL (Reply 17):
The Seattle metro area has over 3.5 million people, what are you talking about?

I think Aerorobnz was referring to the population of Seattle strictly within the city limits...which is about 573k. The entire region, including Everett, Belllevue, Tacoma is about 3.5mm, and about half of the state's population lives in the Puget Sound region.


User currently offlineStevenUhl777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 22, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1498 times:

Quoting Diamond (Reply 18):
Be friendly. Be happy. Be available. And give her plenty of room.

If she wants to get closer to you, it's her turn to make a move.

That's great advice, thanks, Diamond...I agree that if there really is an interest on her part, then she needs to let me know that she's available again.


User currently offlineAerorobnz From Rwanda, joined Feb 2001, 7193 posts, RR: 13
Reply 23, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 1458 times:

Quoting StevenUhl777 (Reply 21):
I think Aerorobnz was referring to the population of Seattle strictly within the city limits...which is about 573k

Yep, was just going off the census data for Seattle itself. Even if you did include 3.5 million of the entire region the odds of running into someone repeatedly aren't as high as you would think. New Zealand has a population of 4 million, yet I still repeatedly ran into old school friends in London,UK and people I knew in Belgium/France - the otherside of the world....those odds are rather higher..


User currently offlineN808NW From United States of America, joined Aug 2004, 374 posts, RR: 4
Reply 24, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 1 day 17 hours ago) and read 1425 times:

Its strange how these little things (in some cases you could call them big) play out through our lives.

A few years ago, odd sections of a path in front of my house were being repaved. When the workers left I went over to write my name and put the date in the cement. After a few days I had forgot I wrote something there, and just went on with my life. Well one day as I was walking along that path it struck me, I remembered that I had written in the cement some time ago. The freeky thing is that when I glanced down I noticed that the date was exactly on year ago to the day. and I had written it on 9/10/01 right before 9/11. so anyone who sees it in the future may think about that date for a moment.

The other day my history teacher mentioned that she was walking along a beach when she noticed a coin, and later another coin, and another. All three coins had the dates of the birth years of her three children.


-Jason  swirl 



All flights have great IFE...get yourself a window seat, thats something no PTV can beat! flew 808 Pacific an Atlanic
25 Post contains images ZKSUJ : Good to hear you are hanging back a little, time will tel and who knows.... Aerobnz -"yet I still repeatedly ran into old school friends in London,UK
26 StevenUhl777 : Update: Tonight was week #2 of class with "Julie." I didn't make any effort to approach or initiate conversation, just had a passing moment where she
27 Aerorobnz : Good on ya mate, it's nice to see people can still read body language effectively and react accordingly. That's one more restraining order form saved
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