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Who Here Has Kids? How Do You Cope?  
User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 1900 times:

As some of you may be aware, I've been in BOS this week to babysit my brothers kids for a few days while he and my sister-in-law were away. His kids are wonderful, really very good (they are Meggie (5), and Ben and Lucy (twins, 2)), but my GOD it's hard work ! I'm absolutely knackered, and I've ony had to look after them for 3 days ! And the responsibility of it all !! Mind numbing !

So my question to parents out there is, how do you manage it, and work, and have a life ? I am truly astounded by how much effort is involved. I didn't find it difficult particularly, they get on well with me so getting things done was not a problem, but just getting them up, dressed and fed in the mornings is a marathon effort !

This experience has really increased my respect for the parents of small kids, especially single parents !

28 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineScbriml From United Kingdom, joined Jul 2003, 12284 posts, RR: 47
Reply 1, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 1893 times:
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Having raised two moderately sane daughters, I don't know how single parents cope. I'd have been suicidal. The one thing that absolutely amazes me is just how little sleep you can actually survive on. Ours are 3 years apart, but with badly-spaced kids, you could end up with years of too little sleep.

I do remember the sheer bliss of the first night when they both slept till about 7.30 in the morning  smile  The biggest pain is once they do sleep well, if they're ill and you end up having to get up to them multiple times during the night, it absolutely kills you!  yawn 



Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana!
User currently offlineLogan22L From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 1887 times:

Quoting JGPH1A (Thread starter):
As some of you may be aware, I've been in BOS this week

Yeah, I'm aware. Angry

Logan


User currently offlineKeesje From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 1882 times:

aBout single parents, fully agreed.. I have started to look different at the governement forcing single mothers to find a job or cut their social security...

I think with kids it´s a matter of priorities, "love and attention" and the rest is extra seems to work..


User currently offlineMyt332 From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2003, 9112 posts, RR: 71
Reply 4, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 1855 times:

I don't have kids as such but my parents have been fostering for the past 11 years and we are now adopting two lil children. In that time we've had over 20 children stay with us for varying amounts of time, most of them under the age of 5.

Seriously, my head is done in and I feel every day I am getting more and more insane.....but get me, im great with kids now. They can't throw anything at me I haven't seen before. Big grin



One Life, Live it.
User currently offlineIakobos From Belgium, joined Aug 2003, 3312 posts, RR: 35
Reply 5, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 1850 times:

Easy ! make sure Granma is Greek and you have a spare bedroom (even very small).
That leaves you a few years to build up an ironclad scenario to get rid of granma when the kids are grown up. (half joke of course)


User currently offlineDfwRevolution From United States of America, joined Jan 2010, 957 posts, RR: 51
Reply 6, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 1848 times:

"Raising kids isn't hard. I'm tired of hearing that it is. You know what's hard: talking your girlfriend into her third consecutive abortion. That's hard."

- Comedian David Cross  Wink


User currently offlineB747-437B From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 1849 times:

Quoting Myt332 (Reply 4):
im great with kids now

Thats right Alex, they won't wake up will they? Big grin


User currently offlineFDXMECH From United States of America, joined Mar 2000, 3251 posts, RR: 35
Reply 8, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 1 day 3 hours ago) and read 1836 times:

>>>So my question to parents out there is, how do you manage it, and work, and have a life ? I am truly astounded by how much effort is involved.<<<

You're right. I have two kids. A daughter 10 and son 5. It's a job best grown into. What I mean is it's a gradual transition that you grow into and adapt to from childbirth on up.
What happened to you was like jumping into a cold pool. You get used to it, but it takes time.



You're only as good as your last departure.
User currently offlineSkySurfer From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2004, 1136 posts, RR: 12
Reply 9, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 1817 times:

Ok ok i'll admit i don't have any kids....i'm 24 but i love kids! I dont mean that in a 'bad' way, i mean i love 'em in the sense that i have soooo much fun with them and they seem to like being with me. My X has 2 kids (4 and 7) and we had/have soooo much fun it's unbelievable. I don't think i'd make a good dad (my own dad used to beat me and i don't like to think i might end up like him) but everyone says i would be great. But looking after kids from time to time makes me sooo excited and happy...we have such a good time it's unbelieveable. Unfortunately, i refuse to look after or be alone with any young females these days because with all the 'child abuse sh!t' going around i don't want anyone to to think anythin is 'going on', even though i know it's not. It's just a fact of life these days......but i do love kids but i don't think i could cope full time...so kudos to anyone and everyone that does cope, you have my respect!

Cheers



In the dark you can't see ugly, but you can feel fat
User currently offlineAJBUS300 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 316 posts, RR: 0
Reply 10, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 1808 times:

Quoting Myt332 (Reply 4):
I don't have kids as such but my parents have been fostering for the past 11 years and we are now adopting two lil children. In that time we've had over 20 children stay with us for varying amounts of time, most of them under the age of 5.

Can I say how honorable and absolutely wonderful that is of you and your parents for taking care of foster children. That is a wonderful thing and my respects go out to you and your family.

As for the thread at hand, I don't have kids and I used to be one who always said "no kids for me ever" but lately, after hanging out with some relatives and friend's children, I am growing a liking to the little rascals and I think I would love to have my own some day. If they only let me foster, I would love to do that now. As for single parents, that is commendable and it is very difficult to do so anyone who is doing it, hats off to you!



Live each day as if it was your last day on God's beautiful green earth
User currently offlineBill142 From Australia, joined Aug 2004, 8439 posts, RR: 9
Reply 11, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 1801 times:

I look after a friend of mines son sometimes. Its great, I get to teach him heaps of bad stuff so buy the time hes learnt it all and trying it out on me I get to give him back to his parents.
One thing he won't do is say David Hasselhoff!!!


User currently offlineSabena332 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 1 day 1 hour ago) and read 1800 times:

Quoting JGPH1A (Thread starter):
but my GOD it's hard work ! I'm absolutely knackered, and I've ony had to look after them for 3 days ! And the responsibility of it all !!

Thanks a lot for that, now I am really looking forward to become father  Wink

Patrick


User currently offlineSprout5199 From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 1849 posts, RR: 2
Reply 13, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 23 hours ago) and read 1772 times:

I have two daughters, and some times its hard, and feels like I'm going insane but thats why its good to have family members close by. Plus one "pure love look" from them wipes out a lot of rotten days(those of you who have kids know that look)

Dan in Jupiter


User currently offlineLowrider From United States of America, joined Jun 2004, 3220 posts, RR: 10
Reply 14, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 22 hours ago) and read 1767 times:

2 of the little critters, 18 mos and 2 1/2 years. I love them, but it can be tough. Forget ration and reason when your 2 year old decides to have a meltdown, those won't help. Wouldn't give them up for anything. You asked about having a life. They tend to be your life. They have to come first. I am fortunate to get one afternoon a month to pursue my own interests. You start to look forward to to going to work to get a few days relative rest. My wife and I bid opposite schedules so we don't have to do day care. Any extra time we get together is a blessing.

In a nutshell, it amazing, exhausting, makes your head spin at times. I am glad I have the privilege.



Proud OOTSK member
User currently offlineSkidmarks From UK - England, joined Dec 2004, 7121 posts, RR: 55
Reply 15, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 19 hours ago) and read 1748 times:

At last someone who realises that children are hard work!! Even if he is French!!

My two boys are STILL hard work and they are now 17 and 15 - similar ages to many of the posters on here. They are lazy, dirty and soak up money like a soaking up thing.

The eldest doesn't seem to want to do anything with his life other than screw his g/f and laze around. The youngest has more ambition, wants to fly and be a Paleontologist (and he should get the exam results for it - if he doesnt discover girls first!).

But, even now our life isnt our own. They need lifts, they don't know where the dishwasher is, they have no idea of the function of a wardrobe or chest of drawers and are quite happy to sleep on a bed with no sheets, pillowcases or blankets. Their idea of shower is to liberally spray underarm defesterer around and I am damn sure they don't like toothpaste!

Sheesh, sometimes I dont know why we bothered - except I claim I was drunk when we decided to procreate and I must have been taken advantage of!!

Have a nice weekend

Andy  old 



Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
User currently offlineIYK From United States of America, joined Jun 2004, 4 posts, RR: 0
Reply 16, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 19 hours ago) and read 1742 times:

FDXMECH has the best description. Dealing with your own children over time is much easier. We have 6, from 14 to infant. Sometimes logistics is a chore, for example 5 of our kids go to different schools at different times. Networking with other parents is a necessity. The mornings are definitely a circus. With time and practice, things work out OK though. I don't think either of us could do it as a single parent. When we go to events with a lot of people, such as air shows, the kids wear dog-tags (lost a child once briefly at the Chino air show. Didn't think my wife would be happy with me coming home one child down). Probably the most important thing is to find time to be with each other. The kids activities can literally take over.

Skidmarks, the teenage years are starting for me. Can't wait!  liar 


User currently offlineIhadapheo From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 6027 posts, RR: 56
Reply 17, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 8 hours ago) and read 1705 times:

Where to start??, I agree that having a child is quite challenging at times since you do have to include their care in all of your daily activities. But that is a minor thing compared to the utter joy and wonder they bring top your life as the learn and progress. As I sit here typing this my daughter is sitting drawing numbers and letters and trying to put words together. She will stop for a bit and have me dance with her to the music on Sirrius only stop while she gives me a hug and goes back to her drawing.

Watching her grow from a newborn to see here now at 4 has been a joy, sure there have been tough times, her being born with Neurofibromatosis and having a seizure disorder do complicate things. But as I said just watching here grow and explore are a wonder to watch. Everyday I think how lucky I am to have this time and look forward to the adventures to come.

Some special joys for me are when Lizzie will come up and for no reason just give me a hug and tell me "I love you poppa because you are good" and my personal favorite a hug with "you are not too old" as she pats my face. Of a course I have to add the bit about just watching her sleep at peace after a day of fun and learning is always a treat as well.

I have learned much from my daughter and I hope to continue to do so. I only hope that I can live up to my standards as father and help here to become a happy and well rounded adult/

IHAP



Pray hard but pray with care For the tears that you are crying now Are just your answered prayers
User currently offlineLjungdahl From Sweden, joined Apr 2002, 907 posts, RR: 37
Reply 18, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 8 hours ago) and read 1698 times:

Don't forget - being a parent is what nature actually has "designed" every one of us to be!

To become a parent for the first time is really quite a change in one's life, I say not for worse, just different.

And as with everything else in life, you get used to it - even taking care of a number of children all by yourself...

/Johan  old 
(...daddy of 1 girl and 4 boys, aged between 10 and 17...)


User currently offlineTheGov From United States of America, joined Apr 2003, 414 posts, RR: 3
Reply 19, posted (9 years 3 months 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 1671 times:

As a single parent, let me in on a secret - it's called scheduling. Raising two children as a single parent, you need to run your house like the Germans run the trains. And if the schedule falls to pieces, you need to have a plan B and a plan C, etc. And while my situation may be different from other single parents, I tend to go like crazy when the kids are here and take the time that they are away to recover. Like the others, I wouldn't trade it for anything. There are times, however, where they are at their wits end with me and I'm at my wits end with them. But, that too passes.

The one thing I cannot stand: people without kids who are sure that they have all the right answers to raising kids. That just ticks me off.

Remember, kids are people too. Only little. And they have their own personalities and need to be treated as individuals. Remembering that helps you to keep your sanity at all times.



Always a pallbearer, never a corpse.
User currently offlineFalcon84 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 20, posted (9 years 3 months 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 1669 times:

A lot of love; a lot of patience; a good sense of humor; and a glass of wine every now and then, when needed.  Big grin

User currently offlineYegmaster From Canada, joined Dec 2004, 1023 posts, RR: 0
Reply 21, posted (9 years 3 months 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 1659 times:

I have 3, they are 6,3 & 1 and they are a lot of work and probably for my wife more so than for me.

Quoting Scbriml (Reply 1):
The one thing that absolutely amazes me is just how little sleep you can actually survive on.

So true.
I don't know how my wife does it (especially with our youngest)
But there is nothing more rewarding then your child come up to you and give you a big hug because they appreciate what you do.

Cheers


User currently offlineAJBUS300 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 316 posts, RR: 0
Reply 22, posted (9 years 3 months 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 1656 times:

Quoting Yegmaster (Reply 21):
But there is nothing more rewarding then your child come up to you and give you a big hug because they appreciate what you do.

awwwww, I want a son of my own! That has got to be the best feeling ever!



Live each day as if it was your last day on God's beautiful green earth
User currently offlineYhmfan From Canada, joined Feb 2004, 607 posts, RR: 0
Reply 23, posted (9 years 3 months 6 days 21 hours ago) and read 1645 times:

I have two daughters 18 and 20.To those of you guys that have small kids I have this to say.......GOOD LUCK!!! You are going to need it!
When my kids were little and I had to worry about baby sitting and waking up at night and such, I used to say to myself "I cannot wait for them to grow up"
Well, they have grown up now and (Even though both of them are normal young people and reasonably good students etc.) believe me when I say I wish they were little again.

Definition of chaos and mayhem: 3 women, one guy and one bathroom in the morning!! (Guess who loses out?)

Having said that...... I love them all and would do it again!!  Smile



If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you
User currently offlineQANTASFOREVER From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 24, posted (9 years 3 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 1633 times:

I have experienced what it is to be a single parent in the last few months while I have been here in Sydney with the kids and my wife has been in Monaco.

We have identical twin three year old girls - Olivia and Novi who are absolutely beautiful blonde angels.........some of the time.
They do this thing at dinner - when they stare at each other for a really long time and they simultaneously throw food at each other. It's quite freaky.

They fight about who gets the first bath, who gets the bigger apple, who gets to talk to maman on the phone first, who gets to hide Daddas' shoes, who gets to wear pink, who gets to kill snails in the garden, who gets to drink seawater, who gets to turn off the tv at night, who gets to press the button for the bus to stop, who gets to press the buttons at the ATM.......


*zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzz*

Wha? Oh yeah - sorry. Yeah, kids are easy!

Seriously though - you need to build up this rapport, this situation where you are the benevolent authority. You also need to surrender to a routine... PLAN EVERYTHING! Only then will one manage.

In the mean time I have to go off and make dinner for my two little blonde Republicans.

QFF


25 Post contains images WunalaYann : Hats off to you, parents, and thank you very much! Thanks for trying (and most of the time, succeeding) to make us (former, in my case) kids good pers
26 Scbriml : Tell me about it! They ask me "Why do you get up at 6.00 every day Dad?" So I can have a shave and shower in peace. If those women get in the bathroo
27 Post contains images JGPH1A : Hehe. If my nieces and nephew were to ask my brother the same question, the answer would be "Because you little %£$!@&s are up at 5:30 !"
28 Tanyaluvs2fly : I have a 2.5 yr old (be 3 may 17th) I sometimes wonder how my parents were able to handle work and a kid and family stuff... When she was first born I
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