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Why Do Aliens Only Abduct Total Arseholes?  
User currently offlineUK_Dispatcher From United Arab Emirates, joined Dec 2001, 2582 posts, RR: 30
Posted (8 years 12 months 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1223 times:

Enough said.....

What do u reckon!?

25 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineSkidmarks From UK - England, joined Dec 2004, 7121 posts, RR: 58
Reply 1, posted (8 years 12 months 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1218 times:

Whats worse is, why do they send them back?

Andy  old 



Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
User currently offlineTedTAce From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (8 years 12 months 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1213 times:

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 1):
Whats worse is, why do they send them back?

HERE HERE!!!


User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11951 posts, RR: 48
Reply 3, posted (8 years 12 months 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1202 times:

Cause they intend to probe them, and arseholes are best qualified for that sorta business?  Confused

"I wonder why mankind search for intelligent life in outer space. We have yet to find it on earth."

Thom@s



"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
User currently offlineCPH-R From Denmark, joined May 2001, 5909 posts, RR: 3
Reply 4, posted (8 years 12 months 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1195 times:

Because they know that noone will believe them once they return to earth?  liar 

User currently offlineUK_Dispatcher From United Arab Emirates, joined Dec 2001, 2582 posts, RR: 30
Reply 5, posted (8 years 12 months 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1195 times:

Glad to see that no-one has disagreed with me so far!  Wink

User currently offlineANCFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (8 years 12 months 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1187 times:

They want the entertainment . . .

Smart folk, like myself, would invite them in for a scotch and a cigar to discuss intergalactic politics and what their females look like  bigthumbsup 


User currently offlinePlanespotterx From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (8 years 12 months 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1187 times:

They only abduct the "arseholes" the same way those arseholes always gets the girl..because thats life lol.

User currently offlineSydscott From Australia, joined Oct 2003, 2807 posts, RR: 20
Reply 8, posted (8 years 12 months 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 1140 times:

Only arseholes report being abducted because they are speaking out of their arses when thye are making the crap up!!!!!!  Smile

User currently offlineMyt332 From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2003, 9112 posts, RR: 71
Reply 9, posted (8 years 12 months 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 1138 times:

Hence why they abducted you Planespotterx. Oh and Gkirk.

Edit: No, cos that would mean that you both get the girls which you obviously don't. You're just the exception.

[Edited 2005-04-22 00:49:36]


One Life, Live it.
User currently offlinePlanespotterx From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (8 years 12 months 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 1133 times:

lol Myt332 even im too dumb for them lmao..theyd want someone with at least some intelligence.

User currently offlineAerorobnz From Rwanda, joined Feb 2001, 6899 posts, RR: 13
Reply 11, posted (8 years 12 months 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1115 times:

Aliens are intergellactic toilet paper. they go around the galaxy and wipe up all the shit.

User currently offlineSpringbok747 From Australia, joined Nov 2004, 4387 posts, RR: 11
Reply 12, posted (8 years 12 months 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1096 times:

LOL....now some crackhead has made a "thought screen helmet"!! HAHAHA...

http://www.stopabductions.com/

Wear the helmet as much as you can, especially during times that you feel you are usually abducted. Some persons report complete success just wearing the helmet at night, others report that the aliens became aware when they were not wearing the helmet and took them when they weren't wearing it.

Some abductees have worn their thought screen helmets and hats almost 24 hours a day, seven days a week for more than four years.

One abductee reported that when she wasn't wearing the helmet, the aliens gave her a telepathic command when they were about to take her to not put on the helmet. The only way to stop such alien telepathic commands is to wear the helmet as much as possible.

In late 2004 aliens cut a piece of Velostat out of a helmet. It was neatly placed on an abductee's bed when he was gone and he noticed a piece about 3 inches square was out out of it. The aliens were still unable to take him with a piece out out of the helmet. He has since repaired the helmet and installed new Velostat.

CAUTION: Keep the thought screen helmet in the safest possible place when you are not wearing it. In Kentucky, one thought screen helmet was taken from a box that was in a closet. The abductee had dental work and could not wear it. She thought she put the helmet in a safe place. Additionally, four other thought screen helmets were taken by aliens when they were not being worn, two in Virginia, one in upper New York state, and one in Brisbane, Australia.


WTF?!! HAHAAAAAAAA.....

Are these people really so stupid?!  crazy 



אני תומך בישראל
User currently offlineKieron747 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (8 years 12 months 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1088 times:

Aliens don't always abduct assholes. They abducted me, and I think I've got a chance with the Queen alien, her name's Zorbra and she is fascinated with AirTran and me!

I use the Satellite tracker to keep tabs on where my love is. Ooohhh she puts me in orbit!

Signed,

FLAIRPORT

[Edited 2005-04-22 02:44:03]

User currently offlineSchoenorama From Spain, joined Apr 2001, 2440 posts, RR: 26
Reply 14, posted (8 years 12 months 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1073 times:

Quoting Kieron747 (Reply 13):
Aliens don't always abduct assholes. They abducted me, and I think I've got a chance with the Queen alien, her name's Zorbra and she is fascinated with AirTran and me!

That wouldn't be 'Succulent Zorbra' from the planet Fellatio, by any chance?

Wonderful woman! Had her explore my body thoroughly the other night onboard her spaceship after she explored Uranus.



Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
User currently offlineTPASXM787 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 1730 posts, RR: 20
Reply 15, posted (8 years 12 months 2 days ago) and read 1056 times:

See South Park Episode 1: Cartman Gets an Anal Probe.

Zoltan!



This is the Last Stop.
User currently offlineMonteycarlos From Australia, joined Mar 2005, 2107 posts, RR: 29
Reply 16, posted (8 years 12 months 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 1041 times:

They abduct total arseholes because it is easier to fit a substantially large probe into a total arsehole than one that is not total. The business of anal probing is quite complex.


It's a beautiful night to fly like a phoenix...
User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31568 posts, RR: 57
Reply 17, posted (8 years 12 months 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 1014 times:

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 1):
Whats worse is, why do they send them back?

Best One liner for a long time.  bigthumbsup 
 Smile
regds
MEL



Think of the brighter side!
User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 18, posted (8 years 12 months 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 998 times:

If we ask nicely, do you think they'd take Kirkie ? Either for medical experiments (everyone could use a good laugh), or else just as a protein supplement. Either will do, we're not fussy  Smile

User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 54
Reply 19, posted (8 years 12 months 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 995 times:

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 18):
If we ask nicely, do you think they'd take Kirkie ?

What, and risk infecting their entire species?



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineCornish From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2005, 8187 posts, RR: 54
Reply 20, posted (8 years 12 months 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 993 times:

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 18):
If we ask nicely, do you think they'd take Kirkie ?

They won't bother - why do they need to learn about sheep, how not to play football/rugby/etc, or deep fried mars bars?  Wink



Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 21, posted (8 years 12 months 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 993 times:

Quoting Banco (Reply 19):
What, and risk infecting their entire species?

Shhhh - don't TELL them !! It's part of our secret Earth-defense plan - infect them with Kirkieness, so they all become hopeless crack addicts who are unable to move off the sofa for a pot noodle, never mind invade other planets.

See, aliens - NICE Kirkie - come and get it !


User currently offlineSpringbok747 From Australia, joined Nov 2004, 4387 posts, RR: 11
Reply 22, posted (8 years 12 months 1 day 17 hours ago) and read 984 times:

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 18):
If we ask nicely, do you think they'd take Kirkie ?

Looks like they already did, found him to be too dumb, so they dropped him back somewhere in Scotland:




אני תומך בישראל
User currently offlineDtwclipper From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 23, posted (8 years 12 months 1 day 14 hours ago) and read 956 times:

All I know, is that if a flying saucer landed in my backyard the first thing I would do, is turn it over to see where it was made.*



*with apologies to joan rivers.


User currently offlineFergulmcc From Ireland, joined Oct 2004, 1916 posts, RR: 53
Reply 24, posted (8 years 12 months 1 day 14 hours ago) and read 949 times:

Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 23):
All I know, is that if a flying saucer landed in my backyard the first thing I would do, is turn it over to see where it was made

What about the reg and c/n. Don't think the reg would be in the drop down menu, would it? God know what airport you'd use?!

I was having a bad day here in work till I read this thread,  rotfl , cheered me up big time.

Fergul Big grin



Zambian Airways, Where the Eagles fly free!!
User currently offlineBNE From Australia, joined Mar 2000, 3169 posts, RR: 12
Reply 25, posted (8 years 12 months 1 day 14 hours ago) and read 946 times:

Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 23):
All I know, is that if a flying saucer landed in my backyard the first thing I would do, is turn it over to see where it was made

Wouldn't it most likely say, Made In China,  Wink thats where all the good dinner plates and sauces come from.



Why fly non stop when you can connect
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