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Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?  
User currently offlinePe@rson From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 19188 posts, RR: 52
Posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 6 hours ago) and read 2296 times:

What's your favourite Fawlty Towers quote? Mine is 'nest of vipers,' as said by Fawlty to Sybil.


"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
39 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 1, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 6 hours ago) and read 2291 times:

"Stop talking about the war!"

"You started it!"

"No, we did not!"

"Yes you did, you invaded Poland". Big grin



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlinePe@rson From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 19188 posts, RR: 52
Reply 2, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 2283 times:

Aye, that's a classic.


"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
User currently offlineSchoenorama From Spain, joined Apr 2001, 2440 posts, RR: 26
Reply 3, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 2280 times:

"Don't mention the war".

Funny to see how this old quote can still be applied, ie during Tony Blair's campaign!



BTW, decades ago, when Fawlty Towers was also showed on Spanish Television, Manuel was all of a sudden from Italy and not from Barcelona!

[Edited 2005-05-04 17:41:49]


Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 2279 times:

'My little piranha fish" - hehe !

User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11951 posts, RR: 47
Reply 5, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 2277 times:

Banco, that one is a classic. Big grin

I also like the rat episode. Don't remember the quotes 100%, but something like this:

Basil: "Manuel, the health inspector is coming this afternoon, and I need you to go up on the roof..."
(Manuel is about to leave the room)
"Not yet, haven't told you what you're doing yet. Now, there are two dead pigeons in the tank on the roof, I want you to take them out."
(Manuel looks confused, and starts laughing.)
"What is so funny Stop laughing."
Manuel: "Oink oink" (Flaps arms)
Basil: "Not pigs, Pigeons!! Like your English."

Many classic Basil and Manuel moments like when they are putting up the moose head:

Basil: "Manuel could you go get me a hammer?"
Manuel: "My hamster?"
Basil: "No not your hamster, I can't knock the nail in with your hamster. Well I could try. Oh never mind, I'll go get hammer and hit you on the head with it."

When Sybil finds out there is a rat in the hotel. Basil suggests they set it free in the woods.
Sybil: "You can't let him free all alone, he's defenceless."
Basil: "Well it's not like he's gonna get mugged by a gang of field mice, now is it?"
Sybil suggests they could sell the rat.
Basil: "Oh yes, and what should we put in the ad? Huge, furry infested rodent for sale... answers to the name of Sybil."

Got to love that show. Big grin

Thom@s



"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
User currently offlineSchoenorama From Spain, joined Apr 2001, 2440 posts, RR: 26
Reply 6, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 2276 times:

"No, no, Mr Fawlty. Eez Filigree Siberian Hamster".


Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
User currently offlinePe@rson From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 19188 posts, RR: 52
Reply 7, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 2267 times:

Quoting Thom@s (Reply 5):
Huge, furry infested rodent for sale... answers to the name of Sybil."

LMAO.

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 4):
'My little piranha fish"

Who said that? Basil to Sybil?



"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
User currently offlineBananaBoY From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2004, 1573 posts, RR: 23
Reply 8, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 2263 times:

When he refers to Sybil's brain as a "dormant organ hidden in that rats maze" (her haircut!

To the deaf old woman: "..and if you give us any more trouble I shall visit you in the small hours and put a bat up your night-dress."

Basil: "What would you expect to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney opera house, perhaps the Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically....
Old woman: "I expect to be able to see the sea."
Basil: "You can see it. It's over there between the land and the sky."
Old woman: "I need a telescope to see that."
Basil: "Well may I suggest you consider moving to a hotel closer to the sea? Or preferably in it."


Mark



All my life, I've been kissing, your top lip 'cause your bottom one's missing
User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 2255 times:

Quoting Pe@rson (Reply 7):
Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 4):
'My little piranha fish"

Who said that? Basil to Sybil?

I think it was the one where Sybil goes to hospital - I can't remember for sure.


User currently offlinePe@rson From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 19188 posts, RR: 52
Reply 10, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 2254 times:

I can visualise all those scenes. How sad.  Silly


"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
User currently offlineCtbarnes From United States of America, joined Mar 2000, 3491 posts, RR: 50
Reply 11, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 2243 times:

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 9):
I think it was the one where Sybil goes to hospital - I can't remember for sure.

The best part is when Basil is in the same hospital and tries to get out of bed. The nurse comes in and tries to restrain him:

Basil: Don't touch me, I don't know where you've been!
(he pauses and looks at her)

Basil: My God you are ugly, aren't you.

Nurse (flustered): I'll get the doctor.

Basil (calling after her): You need a plastic surgeon, dear, not a doctor.

Charles, SJ



The customer isn't a moron, she is your wife -David Ogilvy
User currently offlineLuv2fly From United States of America, joined May 2003, 12090 posts, RR: 49
Reply 12, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 2237 times:

I just rented the complete series from netflix.com, hated to send them back.


You can cut the irony with a knife
User currently offlineUALPHLCS From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 2233 times:

Basil: Manuel there is too much butter on these trays!
Manuel: Que?
Basil: I said there is too much butter on these trays!
Manuel: Que?
Basil now very agitated (pointing) There is too much butter ON...THESE...TRAYS!
Manuel: Oh no Senor, Uno...Dos...Tres.


User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11951 posts, RR: 47
Reply 14, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 2227 times:

The hospital one is good.

Nurse tries to make things comfortable for Sybil, while Basil sits there.

Nurse: "Are you still here?"
Basil checks the chair he's sitting on.
Basil: "Apparently."
Nurse: "Well you'll have to leave, the doctor is coming."
Basil: (jumps up) A doctor? Here, in a hospital? My god, whatever shall we do?!"

Thom@s



"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 15, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 2225 times:

Quoting Luv2fly (Reply 12):
I just rented the complete series from netflix.com, hated to send them back

Buy them then!  Wink

Funny, it's 30 years old now, and there were only a dozen (I think) ever made, yet it remains one of the funniest comedies ever made, even when watched now. I suppose new generations must just pick up on it, probably when their parents tell them "You simply MUST watch this".



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineBiggles From Canada, joined Dec 2004, 459 posts, RR: 1
Reply 16, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 2222 times:

"This bath isn't big enough to drown a mouse!"

"I wish you were a mouse" .

"Pardon??".

"Oh nothing.."


User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11951 posts, RR: 47
Reply 17, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 2221 times:

I've had the complete series on VHS for like 10 years now... Though I haven't seen them in a while. Perhaps I ought to invest in the DVD collection sometime.  Smile

Thom@s



"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
User currently offlineAirxLiban From Lebanon, joined Oct 2003, 4506 posts, RR: 54
Reply 18, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 3 hours ago) and read 2205 times:

"Is this a piece of your brain?"

"Oh dear...what happened? Did you get entangled in the eiderdown again? Or did you have to talk on the phone so long that you didn't have time to prim your ears."

Basil: Major, what are you doing?
Major: Don't move...vermin
Basil: We haven't got any staying with us Major...
Major: Hmm?
Basi: No germans, staying in the hotel...now could I please have that gun?
Major: but I'm going to shoot him Fawlty
Basil: Major...not legal actually, against the law
Major: But they're animals Fawlty
Basil: I know, but forgive and forget
Major: Forgive and forget (outraged)?
Basil: Well try to anyway. Damn bastards
Major: But they spread disease fawlty. He was sitting over there, eating the nuts if you please.
Basil: (confused) What did you say it was?
Major: Vermin. A dirty rat.

That's not the exact transcription but just how I remember it.

Also..

"If the Good Lord is mentioned once more I shall move you closer to him now PLEASE!"

"He's from Barcelona"

Mr. Johnson: Yes I quite fancy French food, do you know anywhere where I could get some?
Basil: Yes, France I believe, they seem to like it down there...if you run you could probably still catch the tide it leaves at approxtimately 5 minuets to six.


Just a few...i'll probably come back here and look again and add some more and read some more, hehe.



PARIS, FRANCE...THE BEIRUT OF EUROPE.
User currently offlineUALPHLCS From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 19, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 21 hours ago) and read 2182 times:

Oh just remebered another:

Customer orders a Waldorf salad. Basil runs into the kitchen looks frantically around and runs out telling the customer:

"Sorry sir, we're fresh out of Waldorfs."


User currently offlineJetjack74 From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 7405 posts, RR: 50
Reply 20, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 21 hours ago) and read 2180 times:
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Basil: Good old St George, aye Major?
Major: What?
Basil: Well he killed a hideous fire-breathing old dragon, didn't he?

I saw John Cleese 2 weeks ago in Santa Barbara, CA. He lives there and saw him in his Range Rover that he drives.



Made from jets!
User currently offlinePe@rson From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 19188 posts, RR: 52
Reply 21, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 2149 times:

Overheard a girl sitting next to me. She's called Sybil. LMAO. Perhaps I should make eye-contact and say 'You nest of vipers' in an annoyed and evil way.  Big grin

[Edited 2005-05-05 17:00:53]


"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
User currently offlineGladave From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2005, 194 posts, RR: 2
Reply 22, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 2143 times:

Quoting Banco (Reply 1):
"Stop talking about the war!"

"You started it!"

"No, we did not!"

"Yes you did, you invaded Poland".

that is my favorite scene as well

'the germans' i think is the name of the episode.
everytime gets me in fits of tears (remember im only 20)

Quoting Banco (Reply 15):
Funny, it's 30 years old now, and there were only a dozen (I think) ever made, yet it remains one of the funniest comedies ever made, even when watched now. I suppose new generations must just pick up on it, probably when their parents tell them "You simply MUST watch this".

Comedy is not as good as it used to be;

Fawlty Towers
Blackadder
Only fools and horses

are my favorites

political correctness is, i think, the killer of the comedy....very sad really

David



NO URLS in signature
User currently offlinePe@rson From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 19188 posts, RR: 52
Reply 23, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 2137 times:

The Office, for example, is very good, but I'm not a fan of Little Britain.


"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
User currently offlineLogan22L From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 24, posted (9 years 2 months 3 weeks 4 hours ago) and read 2121 times:

Well, I'm not sure how I won't offend some with this, but my favorite scene and quote is when Basil is trying to do impressions for some German tourists.

Connie Booth wants him to do James Cagney, but instead he puts his index finger under his nose and droning on like Hitler, he does the goose step out of and back into the dining room. When the tourists are all visibly upset, and one woman is crying, he shouts: "I'm trying to cheer her up, you stupid kraut!"

Wet my pants funny, every time.

Logan


25 Scbriml : I was in the studio audience when that episode was filmed! JC was brilliant at entertaining us between takes. I nearly peed myself.
26 Logan22L : You lucky bastard! Logan
27 EIPremier : "He put Basil in the Ratatouille??!!"' "Care for a rat???" (to health inspector) "Dead? But...He can't be dead, he's our best customer." "There's enou
28 Post contains images Pogo : What about when the car has broken down - "Now you're going to get a damn good thrashing" followed by JC going out of shot then returning with a tree
29 Thom@s : I can think of one american show that is worth watching. The rest is more or less crap... British humor certainly appeals more to me. Though there are
30 Cornish : Manuel, you are a waste of space !!
31 UK_Dispatcher : Basil: This is exactly how Nazi Germany started! A bunch of layabouts with nothing better to do than poke their noses in looking for things to complai
32 FMAL : This thread just sent me right to amazon.com to buy the series on DVD. Just great stuff.
33 747srule : I bought the entire dvd collection a few years back. John Cleese is just too funny!! I like the Germans episode the best.
34 Post contains images Airdolomiti : Big John Cleese fan here - Fawlty Towers is one of my all-time favorites. Too many classic quotes to pick out just one! Federico
35 Mia : "Brilliant! Brilliant! Is that what made Britain great!?..."
36 MrChips : Basil Fawlty: Everything all right here? Mrs. Heath: Well... Master Heath: I don't like the chips. The chips are awful. Basil Fawlty: Really? How so?
37 BA380 : Major: D'Oliveira scored a hundred Basil: Did he? Good old Dolly
38 Cornish : Basil: Can't we get you on Mastermind, Sybil? Next contestant - Sybil Fawlty from Torquay, specialist subject the bleedin' obvious
39 Ndebelebev : What do you expect from a Torquay hotel bedroom? says Basil to Mrs Richards Sydney Opera House, The Hanging Gardens of Babylon, Herds of Wilderbeest s
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