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Have You Goofed On Anyone Lately?  
User currently offlineGreyhound From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 1026 posts, RR: 2
Posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 1690 times:

I find it quite amusing to read in different a.net threads all of the "signed by" postings and other jabs people take at one another. Not that I'm trying to instigate anything here, but for amusement only, anyone you care to take a shot at? Mom jokes (however lame), sheep references and anything bashing lib****slayer are more than welcome. (I need something to laugh at... some of these threads are getting a little dull.)


29th, Let's Go!
52 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineLHMARK From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 46
Reply 1, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 1680 times:

There is an etiquette to cracking on fellow A.netters. Here's a good starter guide, not sanctioned by A.net or it's administration and crew:

1. You have to make them a caricature; assign them an overblown trait based on something they once posted that becomes their "crackback persona." For example,

  • Jcs17 is fat and eats constantly

  • Aa61hvy is a roided-out fratboy who can't hold his liquor

  • All women not hospitalized for anorexia are too fat for EmiratesA345

  • Airlinelover gets fired all the time

  • I'm a Beetle-driving, makeup-wearing lush

etc. The joy of the crackback isn't in the personal attack, but in finding creative new ways to slam folks with their existing persona.

2. People who aren't regular trash-talkers may not enjoy being cracked on. If they repeatedly say stupid things, post tons of attention posts, or spew flamebait, then by all means, blast away. Otherwise, if the victim gives a negative response after a trial blast, you know they're "off limits." Euros often fit into this category, especially the humorless Germans.

3. Posting gay references in blasts on straight people is a gray area. The essence of the "you're gay" joke isn't really to call someone gay. It's to tease an obviously straight dude about his masculinity.

These are generally too obvious and easy to constitute good smack. Most gay members don't care too much about this sort of thing, but some can get pretty riled up. If you're gonna post a "gay" blast, base it on some cheesy innuendo you found within your victims post, don't just make a cheesy gay reference out of the blue. And for god's sake, don't blast any of the gay members for being gay. It's tacky and they've heard it all before without having to get it on A.net as well.

4. Overly political users are really fun to wind up

5. Pics, pics, pics. ebaum's world has a bunch of forum-ready crackback images, as does eurowhiners, which focuses on more of the classic A.net member-generated images. Lately, I've been getting a kick out of making my own. Remember, every time you post a pic of you or your stuff, you're putting your a$$ out to get kicked

6. If someone wants you to stop, stop. Personal example, a couple of years ago one member posted something that went over as extremely southern racist. I illustrated the point by making a photo collage of a klansman driving the General Lee (from the Dukes of Hazzard), and posting it a few times, saying "you're ride is here." After a bit, I got the feeling that he really hated it, and maybe it was too harsh. That image was retired that second. The smack talking and crackbacks are supposed to be funny and edgy, not overly hurtful.

7. The most important thing. If you swing it, be able to catch it, too. Nothing gets someone piled on more than being able to dish it out, but not take it. KROC gets accused of this a lot, but he'll even KO himself if the smack is strong enough. Which brings me to...

8. The "awards." KROC brought most of them to the forum (I think MattD brought "The Prize." They just sort of evolved here. A brief rundown:

  • The K.O.

    An award for a knockout blast against another member. There have been imitations, but there is only one K.O., And only KROC can issue it with authority.


  • The Shaft

    Issued for self-gloss and Ralph Wiggum-style idiocy. Again the shaft is pretty much the sole province of KROC, its inventor.


  • The Piazza


    This image of Mike Piazza striking out is issued whenever someone brings weak smack (see Appendix D. Subsection II: TheCoz). Anyone can employ the Piazza with decent effect.



  • The Cricket Player

    Like the Piazza, but reserved for members from commonwealth countries. Since Indian and Australian members have pretty much no sense of humor, that leaves the Brits. It will apply to Gkirk until I can find an image of someone screwing up a caber toss.


There are plenty of others: The Prize, the Attention Whore, The room (or cargo bay) of People who Care, etc. Go ahead, mix and match!

One of the things that makes the non-av forum is the spirited give-and take between the members. If you've been refraining from joining this fray, but you'd like to, feel free to initiate yourself by hurling your first blast at me. You can rest assured I'll view it with good, sporting humor. But you'd better steel yourself, 'cause I'm gonna crack back.

[Edited 2005-05-17 00:16:23]

[Edited 2005-05-17 00:18:34]


"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineGkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24947 posts, RR: 56
Reply 2, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 1655 times:

Quoting LHMARK (Reply 1):

# GKirk bangs sheep

Thankfully now banned  Smile



When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently onlineAeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 20740 posts, RR: 62
Reply 3, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 1655 times:

Oh, this is just so much bullshit!

Signed,
ANCFlyer



International Homo of Mystery
User currently offlineSabena332 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 1652 times:

Quoting LHMARK (Reply 1):
GKirk bangs sheep

GKirk/sheep jokes are not longer allowed and will get deleted.

Patrick


User currently offlineLHMARK From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 46
Reply 5, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 1644 times:

-Edited to reflect that rule change on Gkirk. I was unaware.


"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently onlineAeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 20740 posts, RR: 62
Reply 6, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 1641 times:

Quoting Sabena332 (Reply 4):
GKirk/sheep jokes are not longer allowed and will get deleted

Oh thank Odin. They were so tiresome.



International Homo of Mystery
User currently offlineGkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24947 posts, RR: 56
Reply 7, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 1632 times:

Feel free to crack on about the fact that I do wear kilts once in a while, or that I do eat haggis (thats the only way that you are to mention me in connection with sheep - in that I eat them)  Wink


When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineDLKAPA From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 1630 times:

Quoting Sabena332 (Reply 4):
GKirk/sheep jokes are not longer allowed and will get deleted.

I guess I shouldn't post that picture I took of Gkirk on the family farm yesterday...it's ok, because the pic would probably give you nightmares anyway.


User currently onlineAeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 20740 posts, RR: 62
Reply 9, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 1625 times:

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 7):
the only way that you are to mention me in connection with sheep - in that I eat them

Why didn't someone post something in Site Related entitled "Silence of the Lambs" or something?  Smile



International Homo of Mystery
User currently offlineLHMARK From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 46
Reply 10, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 1622 times:

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 9):
Why didn't someone post something in Site Related entitled "Silence of the Lambs" or something?




"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineDLKAPA From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 1615 times:

is that AA61hvy after a can of Pabst?

User currently offlineSabena332 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 1614 times:

Quoting DLKAPA (Reply 11):
is that AA61hvy after a can of Pabst?

No, that's GKirk after two pints of Bud Light.  Wink

Patrick


User currently offlineConcordeBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 1610 times:

Quoting LHMARK (Reply 1):
Jcs17 is fat and eats constantly

Aa61hvy is a roided-out fratboy who can't hold his liquor

All women not hospitalized for anorexia are too fat for EmiratesA345

Airlinelover gets fired all the time

I'm a Beetle-driving, makeup-wearing lush

...you forgot rule #6:

USAirwys757 is always fair game  Big grin


User currently offlineA346Dude From Canada, joined Nov 2004, 1287 posts, RR: 7
Reply 14, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 1606 times:

Quoting Sabena332 (Reply 4):
GKirk/sheep jokes are not longer allowed and will get deleted.

Wow, is that the first time a rule has been made with only one member in mind?

It never got tiring for me, but I can understand how Gkirk might have become rather annoyed with it.

A346Dude



You know the gear is up and locked when it takes full throttle to taxi to the terminal.
User currently offlineAA61Hvy From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 13977 posts, RR: 57
Reply 15, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 14 hours ago) and read 1591 times:

Quoting DLKAPA (Reply 11):
is that AA61hvy after a can of Pabst?

No thats GKirk in a public bathroom...



Go big or go home
User currently offlineLHMARK From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 46
Reply 16, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 1550 times:

So... he's actually drinking from the toilet?


"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineNZ747 From New Zealand, joined Dec 2004, 967 posts, RR: 4
Reply 17, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 9 hours ago) and read 1537 times:

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 7):
mention me in connection with sheep - in that I eat them

Do they return the favour?  Wink


User currently offlinePilotsmoe From United States of America, joined May 2005, 249 posts, RR: 0
Reply 18, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 8 hours ago) and read 1521 times:

Quoting Sabena332 (Reply 12):
No, that's GKirk after two pints of Bud Light. Wink

What, he drinks piss now??  drunk   drunk 


User currently offlineCaptoveur From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 19, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 8 hours ago) and read 1521 times:

Quoting NZ747 (Reply 17):
Do they return the favour?

I think we have a winner

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v483/matt45223/ROSEPHS016000.jpg


Anything that goes that far should have a stewardess on it.


User currently offlineKROC From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 20, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 1496 times:

Quoting LHMARK (Reply 1):
7. The most important thing. If you swing it, be able to catch it, too. Nothing gets someone piled on more than being able to dish it out, but not take it. KROC gets accused of this a lot, but he'll even KO himself if the smack is strong enough. Which brings me to...

Let me add this to LHMark's excellent guide to A.net smack talking. Being ab le to take the smack and turn it around and or takethe smack and keep rolling with the punches is key. I get accused of "not being able to take it" because when someone starts cracking on me, I do not get all pissed off or bow down right away. I'll sling smack back or take the smack being used against me and turn it around. The minute I do this, I'm an asshole. Perfect example recently was Pope trying to engage in a "Your Mom" battle with me, and I would not bite. All of a sudden I "could not take it". Not so, if your gonna bring smack, bring something worthwhile. As LHMark said, I KO myself when someone gets me. Captoveur has KOed me, LHMark has KOed me, several others have and have all gotten there credit.

*How to handle getting smacked on*

All one has to do is look at EmiratesA345. In one thread several months back, he took the worst smackdown beating anyone ever received on A.net. From his saying any chick over 67 pounds is fat, to his job in the K-Mart Junior Misses Department he took a beating. Dude never cried, never got pissed, he never complained. He even will reference it on occasion to crack on himself. Dude might have unrealistic tastes in women, but he has all my respect.

AA61hvy - I got 20 bucks says Mark puts you down in a drinking contest.


User currently offlineUsairwys757 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 21, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 1486 times:

Quoting KROC (Reply 20):

AA61hvy - I got 20 bucks says Mark puts you down in a drinking contest.

Its not nice to steal from people Mike.  Wink


User currently offlineKROC From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 22, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 1471 times:

Quoting Usairwys757 (Reply 21):
Its not nice to steal from people Mike.

It's also not nice to diss people when they come to your craphole for a beer and a ballgame too.  Wink


User currently offlineLHMARK From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 46
Reply 23, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 1466 times:

Captain Sweatervest (Usairways757) doesn't actually GO to baseball games. He's afraid he'll be hit with an L.L. Beanball.


"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineKROC From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 24, posted (9 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 1463 times:

Quoting LHMARK (Reply 23):
Captain Sweatervest (Usairways757) doesn't actually GO to baseball games. He's afraid he'll be hit with an L.L. Beanball.

Usairwys757 says NO MAS, NO MAS!



25 Gkirk : I probably would throw up after drinking that piss water!
26 Greyhound : Forgive me for being rather new, at least at posting images. How exactly do I post one? I've dug up a few, and tried to follow a.net's "how to" secti
27 LHMARK : The easiest way is the [img src=""] tag (replace the brackets with carrots (the greater than/less than signs) Find your image's online address (easy t
28 Post contains images Greyhound :
29 Greyhound : Hot damn.... Thanks LHMark. I was beginning to wonder about myself.
30 KROC : Mark is real good when it comes to "helping" out guys.
31 Gkirk : He's a bit like Michael Jackson, but unlike Wacko Jacko, he's not fussy about their age
32 Post contains images KROC : Hey GKirk, Mark is rather sensitive about getting cracked on for liking young boys and well men of all ages, so he is kindly asking you to cease all s
33 Post contains images Gkirk : Fair enough Mention that to Aa61hvy also if he posts that pic with Mark and Jacko peering around a tree at a little girl
34 Post contains images AA61Hvy : Ask and you shall recieve. KROC- Lets put a bottle of Jack Daniels on the line for this bet.
35 Kieron747 : LHMark: What is the origin of this one as I have seen it many times. Do you wear make-up, did you wear make-up, or is it a load of bull? Kieron747
36 Post contains images Usairwys757 : You know how those Catholics are, Mark isnt any different. He's become one of them. [Edited 2005-05-17 22:00:56]
37 Gkirk : I believe it started because he's part of a tribute band to someone called The Cure/The Cult? and wears makeup when singing
38 LHMARK : I'm in a Cure tribute band. I have to be Robert Smith on stage. Although for the last few shows I said "sod it" and wento no without the clown paint.
39 A346Dude : LHMARK, you're a Cure fan eh. What do you think of their song "Just Like Heaven"? I ask because I've been listening to it for 2 days straight - it's s
40 CaptOveur : I dunno.. I am betting LHMark is toting around a few pounds on AA61hvy.. and he probably practices just as much. I think it will be a close fight but
41 Post contains images KROC :
42 Post contains images Usairwys757 : The only close fight there is gonna be is the race to the bathroom. Other than that, nothing.
43 Post contains links KROC : yeah, noice one Troyvis. Instead of posting TheCoz like crackbacks, why don't you go check this site out... www.landsend.com I hear they are having a
44 Post contains images Usairwys757 : Yeah, you know me. Cant get enough of those sweater vests.
45 KROC : That or crappy New Jersey Nets Jerseys when you are in one of your 'Boyz In The Hood" phases...
46 Post contains images CaptOveur : Signed, Usairwys757
47 KROC : How did you photoshop in those chicks Captoveur? Usairwys757 won't let a chick within 20 feet of himself.
48 Post contains images DL021 : Imagine how the pisswater felt!!!! Did anyone yet mention the heretofore unstated fact that adding the emoticon takes away the seriousness of whateve
49 LHMARK : "Just Like Heaven is an incredible song. Simple, asthetically balanced, with an unabashed vulnerability. That said, Aa61hvy would have better luck aga
50 CaptOveur : He paid them to be in the pic so TheCoz would quit trying to hook up with him.
51 LHMARK : Jeez, somehow, I thought USairways757 would look more, I don't know...gangsta.
52 CaptOveur : You mean B-rad from da boo isn't gangsta enough for you?
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