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Probabaly Posted Before But... Still Funny!  
User currently offlineYhmfan From Canada, joined Feb 2004, 607 posts, RR: 0
Posted (9 years 6 months 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 1417 times:

I know every now and then someone posts one of these but who cares... it is still funny:

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

*************************
Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Tower: "Have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

*************************
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"

*************************
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got the little Fokker in sight."

***************************
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked: "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."

**************************
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the
Last stoplight and return to the airport."

*****************************
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

**************************
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from
Eastern 702?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."

*****************************
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"

The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."


If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you
5 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineTriStarEnvy From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 2265 posts, RR: 3
Reply 1, posted (9 years 6 months 1 week 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 1410 times:

Still pretty darn funny.


If you don't stand for SOMETHING, you'll fall for ANYTHING.
User currently offlineTupolevTu154 From Germany, joined Aug 2004, 2185 posts, RR: 28
Reply 2, posted (9 years 6 months 1 week 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 1333 times:

They never cease to make me laugh! Where do you get 'em from?

Cheers

Tom



Atheists - Winning since 33 A.D.
User currently offlineSeptember11 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 3623 posts, RR: 21
Reply 3, posted (9 years 6 months 1 week 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 1324 times:

"Airplane!" movie

Robert Stack and Ted Striker .................

Touchdown!



Airliners.net of the Future
User currently offlineSLC1 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (9 years 6 months 1 week 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 1314 times:

Quoting Yhmfan (Thread starter):
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

hadn't heard that one before!


User currently offlineMatt27 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (9 years 6 months 1 week 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 1307 times:

I have seen them before, but its still funny!

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