Thumper From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 550 posts, RR: 0 Posted (9 years 10 months 4 weeks 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 962 times:
What do you think?
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S
PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war,
our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is
now to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short.
The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are
some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third
world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect
money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe
To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a
peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go
to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables,
too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We
are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the
UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded
crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps
have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or
watch your precious
Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest
shops in the world. I love New York .
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to
try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt
government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple
extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to
put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA
treaty - starting now.
We are tired of the one-way highway.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying,
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on
the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to
eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup
from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We
owe you and we won't forget.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
God bless America..
Thank you and good night.
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English ,
thank a soldier.
TriStarEnvy From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 2265 posts, RR: 3
Reply 3, posted (9 years 10 months 4 weeks 1 day 17 hours ago) and read 940 times:
If that ever happened, I would hope that the US Government had taken the time to notify every US citizen who was outside our borders, to "Get the hell home, NOW!" BEFORE this speech was broadcast.
Sure, it is a nice fantasy, but the fact of the matter IS, we are all in this together. If you wanna pay $25 dollars for a shirt, and $50,000 for a car, because you will be at the mercy of US unions, then this is a great speech. If you wanna build a wall around the USA and police it 24/7, becaus we will really be so terribly loved around the globe, then this is a great speech. If you wanna never venture out of the US to travel, becuase the phrase "Ugly American" will have new meaning, then this is a great speech.
We need to think a little more "Globally" these days. Don't get me wrong, I love my country, and would defend it if called. But the USA needs to stop driving "our culture" down a lot of countries throats. Wonder why they hate us, so? Yeah, we are bringing democracy, but also Coke, GM, McDonald's, and MTV. We'll liberate you, and then turn your youth into lazy, mouthy, little sh*ts. We'll give you freedom, and the chance to buy a swell Chevy Cobalt, and get fat eating our food. I'm not bashing the current administration, but for goodness sake, let's get the job done (destroying terrorist cells) and get the hell out.
And this comes from a card carrying Republican.
If you don't stand for SOMETHING, you'll fall for ANYTHING.
Saxdiva From United States of America, joined Jun 2004, 2383 posts, RR: 40
Reply 10, posted (9 years 10 months 4 weeks 1 day 16 hours ago) and read 889 times:
Quoting ANCFlyer (Reply 9): I have to guess that, regardless of how some of the replies here appear, everyone knows this is an old, old, much less than witty diatribe that's been bounced about for a couple of years . . . right?