English Of The European Union
KiwiNanday From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Posted Sat Jun 25 2005 03:47:21 UTC (7 years 11 months 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 1286 times:
Hope you enjoy it this as much as i did
"The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than
German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finaly cum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas."
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
I got zis frum ze forums at opszon.com. I hop no vun taks ofens!
Oldeuropean From Germany, joined May 2005, 1900 posts, RR: 4 Reply 11, posted Sun Jun 26 2005 10:41:28 UTC (7 years 11 months 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1066 times:
Quoting Catatonic ( Reply 2): Well of course you arent going to find it funny, your German!
No, not because Iï¿½m German. It`s because, I don`t like prejudices. Specially not from England, where you can find insults against Germany in the press, nearly every week. Btw, it is funny that no one in Germany really cares much about it and you never can find something like this in the German media.
As I said in another post: I don`t know why they need these insults.
Perhaps they have an inferiority-complex.
Axel [Edited 2005-06-26 10:53:42]
Wer wenig weiss muss vieles glauben