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English Of The European Union  
User currently offlineKiwiNanday From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (9 years 5 months 4 weeks 1 day ago) and read 1752 times:

Hope you enjoy it this as much as i did Big grin Big grin Big grin


"The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than
German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finaly cum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas."

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

I got zis frum ze forums at opszon.com. I hop no vun taks ofens!

20 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineOldeuropean From Germany, joined May 2005, 2091 posts, RR: 4
Reply 1, posted (9 years 5 months 4 weeks 13 hours ago) and read 1708 times:

That`s such an very very very old joke. I still have heard it sometimes in the 80th.

Axel  yawn 



Wer nichts weiss muss alles glauben
User currently offlineCatatonic From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2004, 1155 posts, RR: 3
Reply 2, posted (9 years 5 months 4 weeks 12 hours ago) and read 1686 times:

LMFAO, that was funny!

Quoting Oldeuropean (Reply 1):
that`s such an very very very old joke. I still have heard it sometimes in the 80th.

Well of course you arent going to find it funny, your German!



Equally Cursed and Blessed.
User currently offlineFlyAUA From Austria, joined May 2005, 4604 posts, RR: 56
Reply 3, posted (9 years 5 months 4 weeks 11 hours ago) and read 1679 times:

Quoting Catatonic (Reply 2):
Well of course you arent going to find it funny, your German!

It's old but indeed funny. And hey, I am Austrian but I still find it funny!!



Not drinking, also isn't a solution!
User currently offlineMIAspotter From Spain, joined Nov 2001, 2852 posts, RR: 25
Reply 4, posted (9 years 5 months 4 weeks 3 hours ago) and read 1612 times:

ROFLMAO!!! Big grin

I have one too! I saw it on a friend's T-shirt last weekend.

United Europe

In heaven...

The policemen are English
The cooks are French
The bankers are Belgian
The dancers are Spanish
The lovers are Italian
And its all organized by the Germans.

In hell...

The policemen are French
The cooks are English
The bankers are Spanish
The dancers are Belgian
The lovers are German
And its all organized by the Italians.

Oh well not as good as the other one but I tried. LOL

MIAspotter



I think, therefore I don´t fly Ryanair.
User currently offlineTPASXM787 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 1730 posts, RR: 19
Reply 5, posted (9 years 5 months 4 weeks 3 hours ago) and read 1610 times:

LOL

Nicely done Kiwi!



This is the Last Stop.
User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8763 posts, RR: 42
Reply 6, posted (9 years 5 months 4 weeks 3 hours ago) and read 1603 times:

Vee no vots best fo yu ennyve, zo vai eevn boza reeziztink?


Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineFutureUApilot From United States of America, joined May 2004, 1365 posts, RR: 4
Reply 7, posted (9 years 5 months 4 weeks 3 hours ago) and read 1602 times:

Haha, Great stuff!!!

-Sam



The Pilot is the highest form of life on Earth!
User currently offlineGkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24964 posts, RR: 56
Reply 8, posted (9 years 5 months 4 weeks 2 hours ago) and read 1591 times:

Time to bomb those German gits again I think  Wink


When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineMD11Engineer From Germany, joined Oct 2003, 14139 posts, RR: 62
Reply 9, posted (9 years 5 months 4 weeks ago) and read 1565 times:

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 8):
Time to bomb those German gits again I think Wink

Kirkie,

Will we see you Scots during the football world championship next year or will you drop out before?

Jan


User currently offlineGkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24964 posts, RR: 56
Reply 10, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 17 hours ago) and read 1535 times:

Quoting MD11Engineer (Reply 9):
Will we see you Scots during the football world championship next year or will you drop out before?

Dunno, whatever happens we'll be drunk anyway  Wink
T'is the English fans you have to watch out for  Wink



When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineOldeuropean From Germany, joined May 2005, 2091 posts, RR: 4
Reply 11, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 17 hours ago) and read 1532 times:

Quoting Catatonic (Reply 2):
Well of course you arent going to find it funny, your German!

No, not because I�m German. It`s because, I don`t like prejudices. Specially not from England, where you can find insults against Germany in the press, nearly every week. Btw, it is funny that no one in Germany really cares much about it and you never can find something like this in the German media.

As I said in another post: I don`t know why they need these insults.
Perhaps they have an inferiority-complex.


Axel

[Edited 2005-06-26 10:53:42]


Wer nichts weiss muss alles glauben
User currently offlineGkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24964 posts, RR: 56
Reply 12, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 1518 times:

The English don't like you Germans because you steal the sunbeds...I suppose us Scots hate you for that also  Wink


When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineFlyAUA From Austria, joined May 2005, 4604 posts, RR: 56
Reply 13, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 10 hours ago) and read 1486 times:

Quoting MIAspotter (Reply 4):
I have one too! I saw it on a friend's T-shirt last weekend.

United Europe

In heaven...

The policemen are English
The cooks are French
The bankers are Belgian
The dancers are Spanish
The lovers are Italian
And its all organized by the Germans.

In hell...

The policemen are French
The cooks are English
The bankers are Spanish
The dancers are Belgian
The lovers are German
And its all organized by the Italians.

I think you're talking about this:




Not drinking, also isn't a solution!
User currently offlineJetjack74 From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 7431 posts, RR: 50
Reply 14, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 1476 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Quoted from a comic genius:
Basil "Well you started it!

German: We did not start it!

Basil: Yes you did, you invaded Poland!"



Made from jets!
User currently offlinePelican From Germany, joined Apr 2004, 2531 posts, RR: 8
Reply 15, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 1473 times:

Quoting Jetjack74 (Reply 14):

Basil: Yes you did, you invaded Poland!"

Don't mention the war!

pelican

[Edited 2005-06-26 18:45:27]

User currently offlineJetjack74 From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 7431 posts, RR: 50
Reply 16, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 1464 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

You have absolutely NO sense humour. Do you?


Made from jets!
User currently offlinePelican From Germany, joined Apr 2004, 2531 posts, RR: 8
Reply 17, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 1460 times:

Quoting Jetjack74 (Reply 16):
You have absolutely NO sense humour. Do you?

Who?

pelican


User currently offlineAndz From South Africa, joined Feb 2004, 8463 posts, RR: 10
Reply 18, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 1451 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

LOL Jetjack is obviously not a Fawlty Towers afficionado!


After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF...
User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8763 posts, RR: 42
Reply 19, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 1438 times:

Quoting Andz (Reply 18):
LOL Jetjack is obviously not a Fawlty Towers afficionado!

This seems to be what happens when you know one quote from a movie!  rotfl 



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineJetjack74 From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 7431 posts, RR: 50
Reply 20, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 1427 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Quoting Pelican (Reply 17):
Who?

That's a quote from the episode. Watch it a little more closely.

Quoting Jetjack74 (Reply 16):
You have absolutely NO sense humour. Do you?

Basil says this right after he impersonates Hitler, and the german man says that the "war was not funny, not for any german people"

Quoting Aloges (Reply 19):
This seems to be what happens when you know one quote from a movie

Well, I know more than you, because it's not a movie, it's a series.

[Edited 2005-06-26 20:30:10]


Made from jets!
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