KiwiNanday From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Posted (7 years 11 months 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 1286 times:
Hope you enjoy it this as much as i did
"The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than
German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finaly cum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas."
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
I got zis frum ze forums at opszon.com. I hop no vun taks ofens!
MIAspotter From Spain, joined Nov 2001, 2272 posts, RR: 26 Reply 4, posted (7 years 11 months 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 1146 times:
ROFLMAO!!!
I have one too! I saw it on a friend's T-shirt last weekend.
United Europe
In heaven...
The policemen are English
The cooks are French
The bankers are Belgian
The dancers are Spanish
The lovers are Italian
And its all organized by the Germans.
In hell...
The policemen are French
The cooks are English
The bankers are Spanish
The dancers are Belgian
The lovers are German
And its all organized by the Italians.
Oh well not as good as the other one but I tried. LOL
TPASXM787 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 1730 posts, RR: 22 Reply 5, posted (7 years 11 months 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 1144 times:
FutureUApilot From United States of America, joined May 2004, 1365 posts, RR: 4 Reply 7, posted (7 years 11 months 2 days 19 hours ago) and read 1136 times:
Oldeuropean From Germany, joined May 2005, 1900 posts, RR: 4 Reply 11, posted (7 years 11 months 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1066 times:
Quoting Catatonic (Reply 2): Well of course you arent going to find it funny, your German!
No, not because I�m German. It`s because, I don`t like prejudices. Specially not from England, where you can find insults against Germany in the press, nearly every week. Btw, it is funny that no one in Germany really cares much about it and you never can find something like this in the German media.
As I said in another post: I don`t know why they need these insults.
Perhaps they have an inferiority-complex.
FlyAUA From Austria, joined May 2005, 4604 posts, RR: 57 Reply 13, posted (7 years 11 months 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 1020 times:
Quoting MIAspotter (Reply 4): I have one too! I saw it on a friend's T-shirt last weekend.
United Europe
In heaven...
The policemen are English
The cooks are French
The bankers are Belgian
The dancers are Spanish
The lovers are Italian
And its all organized by the Germans.
In hell...
The policemen are French
The cooks are English
The bankers are Spanish
The dancers are Belgian
The lovers are German
And its all organized by the Italians.
Jetjack74 From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 7336 posts, RR: 52 Reply 14, posted (7 years 11 months 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1010 times:
Quoted from a comic genius:
Basil "Well you started it!
Jetjack74 From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 7336 posts, RR: 52 Reply 16, posted (7 years 11 months 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 998 times: