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Smart Oneliners  
User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31667 posts, RR: 56
Posted (9 years 3 weeks 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 1273 times:

A Friend sent this Email with Smart Oneliners:-

Coca-Cola was originally green.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.


The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.


The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.


There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using theletters only on one row of the keyboard.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!

You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.


It is impossible to lick your elbow.


People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.

Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321


If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?

Ans. - All were invented by women.



Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?

Ans. – Honey


A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

A snail can sleep for three years.

All polar bears are left handed.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.


In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.


On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.


The electric chair was invented by a dentist.


The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different


regds
MEL


Think of the brighter side!
28 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 1, posted (9 years 3 weeks 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 1260 times:

Quoting HAWK21M (Thread starter):
People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

That could only be a recent discovery. The phrase is way older than that, and is thought to derive from the time of the Black Death. Sneezing was one of the first symptoms, which is why those around said "God Bless You". It's also the origin of the rather gruesome children's nursery rhyme:

A ring, a ring of roses
A pocket full of posies
A-tishoo, a-tishoo
We all fall down.



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineGkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24906 posts, RR: 56
Reply 2, posted (9 years 3 weeks 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 1239 times:

Quoting Banco (Reply 1):
A ring, a ring of roses
A pocket full of posies
A-tishoo, a-tishoo
We all fall down.

Down at the bottom
Of the deep blue sea
Catching Fishes
For our tea!



When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 3, posted (9 years 3 weeks 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 1238 times:

Very good, Kirkie. I see you've been attending your play group like a good boy. Have you progressed on to The Wheels on the Bus yet? Big grin


She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineMyt332 From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2003, 9112 posts, RR: 71
Reply 4, posted (9 years 3 weeks 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 1222 times:

Quoting Banco (Reply 3):
Have you progressed on to The Wheels on the Bus yet?

Well if he hasn't then let's give Gkirk a head start in his class.



[Edited 2005-06-28 14:41:43]


One Life, Live it.
User currently offlineLazyshaun From United Kingdom, joined May 2005, 548 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (9 years 3 weeks 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 1216 times:

I have a book called the book of useless information. Its is about 300 pages long and has all kinds of info like this. If I find it I will post some.


I came. I saw. I conquered
User currently offlineCarmenlu15 From Guatemala, joined Dec 2004, 4756 posts, RR: 31
Reply 6, posted (9 years 3 weeks 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 1164 times:

Quoting HAWK21M (Thread starter):
It is impossible to lick your elbow.

You forgot to mention the fact that 70% of people will try to lick their elbows after reading this.

Trust me - got a similar e-mail once, forwarded it to the guy next to me, and got quite a laugh at his unsuccessful attempts to lick his elbow.  rotfl 



What do I know, I'm just an 'immature troublemaker with only a passing interest in aviation' (or so they say)
User currently offlineKFLLCFII From United States of America, joined Sep 2004, 3296 posts, RR: 30
Reply 7, posted (9 years 3 weeks 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 1153 times:

Quoting HAWK21M (Thread starter):
Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

Floccinaucinihilipilification...Antidisestablishmentarianism...I typed ALL of that with only my left hand! Big grin



"About the only way to look at it, just a pity you are not POTUS KFLLCFII, seems as if we would all be better off."
User currently offlineNZblue From United States of America, joined Jun 2004, 637 posts, RR: 3
Reply 8, posted (9 years 3 weeks 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 1152 times:

Quoting HAWK21M (Thread starter):
The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

North America
South America

hmm...doesn't seem like it to me, except for the AmericA part.

Great list, though!

NZblue



It's an entirely different kind of flying; all together.
User currently offlineGreyhound From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 1026 posts, RR: 2
Reply 9, posted (9 years 3 weeks 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 1149 times:

Quoting KFLLCFII (Reply 7):
Floccinaucinihilipilification...Antidisestablishmentarianism...I typed ALL of that with only my left hand

Just don't tell us what you were doing with the right hand at the time.



29th, Let's Go!
User currently offlineKFLLCFII From United States of America, joined Sep 2004, 3296 posts, RR: 30
Reply 10, posted (9 years 3 weeks 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 1135 times:

Quoting Greyhound (Reply 9):
Just don't tell us what you were doing with the right hand at the time.

 Wink



"About the only way to look at it, just a pity you are not POTUS KFLLCFII, seems as if we would all be better off."
User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31667 posts, RR: 56
Reply 11, posted (9 years 3 weeks 5 days 2 hours ago) and read 1086 times:

Quoting Carmenlu15 (Reply 6):
You forgot to mention the fact that 70% of people will try to lick their elbows after reading this.

 Smile
regds
MEL



Think of the brighter side!
User currently offlineFokker Lover From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (9 years 3 weeks 5 days 2 hours ago) and read 1077 times:

A lot of those are suspect, but the horse legs has absolutely no validity. That was just an urban legend that people started to believe.

I also type entire pages with just one finger, so that blows out the typing one also. My system is called "hunt and peck".


User currently offlinePanAm330 From United States of America, joined Mar 2004, 2669 posts, RR: 9
Reply 13, posted (9 years 3 weeks 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 1062 times:

My friend can lick her elbow. So that's a crock of sh*t.

User currently offlineFlyingbronco05 From United States of America, joined May 2002, 3840 posts, RR: 2
Reply 14, posted (9 years 3 weeks 4 days 15 hours ago) and read 1032 times:

Quoting HAWK21M (Thread starter):
The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with

Not true!

North America and South America!



Never Trust Your Fuel Gauge
User currently offlineDiamond From United States of America, joined Apr 2004, 3279 posts, RR: 63
Reply 15, posted (9 years 3 weeks 4 days 15 hours ago) and read 1034 times:

Here are a few that a good friend shared with me:

=======================================================

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year.

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

It hurts to be on the cutting edge.

If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.

I don't get even, I get odder.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

I am a nutritional overachiever.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

I am having an out of money experience.

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

A day without sunshine is like night.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

I am not a perfectionist. My parents were though.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.

You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.



Blank.
User currently offlineSprout5199 From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 1851 posts, RR: 2
Reply 16, posted (9 years 3 weeks 4 days 14 hours ago) and read 1015 times:

Everything everybody ever does is in order to get laid


Dan in Jupiter


User currently offlineSpringbok747 From Australia, joined Nov 2004, 4387 posts, RR: 11
Reply 17, posted (9 years 3 weeks 4 days 14 hours ago) and read 1004 times:

Coca-Cola was originally green.

Um..no.
http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/green.asp

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

No..The world's most common surname (not surprisingly, considering the numbers) is Chang or Zhang.
http://ask.yahoo.com/ask/20031126.html

The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

No.
North America
South America
Oceania

Unless of course you consider just "America" and not say "Oceania".

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

Not entirely true:

The unexplained statement that "the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body" appears frequently in lists of surprising facts, but it is difficult to find any definition of "strength" that would make this statement true. Note that technically the tongue consists of sixteen muscles, not one. The tongue may possibly be the strongest muscle at birth.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscles#The_strongest_human_muscle

People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

No.

Most of the other rumors about sneezing are not true: your heart does not stop when you sneeze, and with great effort you could probably keep your eyes open during a sneeze. While the tradition of saying "Bless you" or "Gesundheit" (meaning "health" in German), or some variation on this theme, apparently originated from superstitions that sneezing was a sign of approaching danger or even death, most people who sneeze have an excellent prognosis!

http://www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH.../379001.html?d=dmtHMSContent#myths

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

No.

http://www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH.../35323/379001.html?d=dmtHMSContent

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.

Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.


No. http://www.snopes.com/history/world/cardking.htm

If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.


No. http://www.snopes.com/military/statue.htm

What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?

Ans. - All were invented by women.


No. The Laser Printer was invented by a man actually.....Gary Starkweather
http://www.crn.com/sections/special/...rticleId=18838549&_requestid=20107

All polar bears are left handed.

No. Another recurrent myth is that the great white bears are left-pawed. Scientists observing the animals haven't noticed a preference. In fact, polar bears seem to use their right and left paws equally.

http://www.polarbearsalive.org/facts11.php

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

False, elephants CAN jump.
http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/melepha2.html


The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

Must be false. How the hell can anyone actually prove that?!

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

No. Who came up with that number (700 times?!) anyway?

Nice list though, but too bad most of them are false.



אני תומך בישראל
User currently offlineArmitageShanks From UK - England, joined Dec 2003, 3608 posts, RR: 15
Reply 18, posted (9 years 3 weeks 4 days 13 hours ago) and read 986 times:

Damn springbok747, can't you let us be ignorant and happy!!! haha

User currently offlineANITIX87 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 3299 posts, RR: 13
Reply 19, posted (9 years 3 weeks 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 954 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Haha, I love these...

If Superman can dodge bullets, why does he duck whenever a punch is thrown at him?

If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter-side-down, what happend if you tie buttered bread to a cat's back?

TIS



www.stellaryear.com: Canon EOS 50D, Canon EOS 5DMkII, Sigma 50mm 1.4, Canon 24-70 2.8L II, Canon 100mm 2.8L, Canon 100-4
User currently offlineLazyshaun From United Kingdom, joined May 2005, 548 posts, RR: 0
Reply 20, posted (9 years 3 weeks 3 days 20 hours ago) and read 944 times:

Saying it is impossible to lick your elbow is plain stupid! You could cut your arm of at the shoulder, endure an almost unbearable amount of pain for a long period of time, then pick your chopped off arm up with the one remaining attached arm, and lick your elbow.

Impossible? No. Unless anybody has actually tried to do this and found there is an invisible force field that disables you to perform such an act?!

The correct sentence should be: It is incredibly difficult and pointless licking ones elbow.



I came. I saw. I conquered
User currently offlineORFflyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 21, posted (9 years 3 weeks 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 895 times:

Quoting Sprout5199 (Reply 16):
The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

No.
North America
South America
Oceania

I didn't know there is a continent named Oceania.


User currently offlineFokker Lover From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 22, posted (9 years 3 weeks 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 862 times:

Quoting ORFflyer (Reply 21):
I didn't know there is a continent named Oceania

I'm with you on that one. The first time I ever heard that term was on here a few months ago. Maybe we should start another thread to discuss it some more. Because if we as a world population can't agree on how many Continents there are, and what their names are, we will never agree on the important things like war or politics.

I've been out of school for over 20 years, but I don't believe todays American schools are teaching that way either.
As far as I know 2+2 still equals 4. If that has been changed too, please let me know.
This is what I was taught
Asia
Africa
Antarctica
Australia
Europe
North America
South America
As I said, If we can't agree on a verifiable fact like that, we cannot agree on anything of importance.

What is the rest of the world being taught?


User currently offlineCarmenlu15 From Guatemala, joined Dec 2004, 4756 posts, RR: 31
Reply 23, posted (9 years 3 weeks 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 845 times:

Quoting Fokker Lover (Reply 22):
What is the rest of the world being taught?

I was taught 5 continents:
Europe
Asia
Africa
America (North, Central and South as part of the same continent)
Oceania (Australia and the surrounding islands)

Interesting, huh?  scratchchin 



What do I know, I'm just an 'immature troublemaker with only a passing interest in aviation' (or so they say)
User currently offlineFokker Lover From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 24, posted (9 years 3 weeks 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 842 times:

Australia and the surrounding islands together? How can an island be considered part of the Continent? It's not attached to anything. Hell, Central America is attached to both North and South Americas, but we don't consider it part of the actual Continent because it's so small.
My definition of a Continent would be an incredibly huge land mass. So huge, that only seven exist. It seems that some Countries have broken it down to five. I'm open for more discussion, but I would never consider New Zealand part of a Continent. Even though it does sit on the Australian Continental Shelf.


25 Trident3 : How does Spiderman get out of the bath?
26 Post contains links and images Carmenlu15 : To tell you the truth, I don't know. I guess it's the same way the Caribbean Islands are considered a part of the American Continent. Or at least tha
27 Trident3 : Continents: Europe America Africa Asia Australasia Antartica
28 Dvk : If North America and South America are considered to be a single continent, it makes absolutely no sense for Asia and Europe to be considered separate
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