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For All George Carlin Fans (Beware Of Language)  
User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8685 posts, RR: 43
Posted (9 years 2 weeks 1 day 22 hours ago) and read 2132 times:

warning: possibly offensive language ahead, including quotes not necessarily marked as such










So how's everybody doing tonight? Good? Well, fuck you!

I have a few questions for all of you Carlin geeks, maybe we can have some fun firing Qs&As like our favourite comedian fires insults at everyone. So here we go, based on "Jammin' in New York":

1. What is the US good at, except war?
2. Which non-brown country tried to do the US's job in the world and got bombed for it?
3. What is war to George Carlin?
4. How does the ruling class operate in any society?
5. What's the name of the song you really want the wife to believe it exists?
6. Can you sneeze while you're taking a piss?
7. Which state is expecting a rain event?
8. In which part of the airplane should a six-foot infant with an oversized head travel?
9. Why does Carlin want to get in the plane, as opposed to on it? Who should get on it?
10. Which one is his favourite part of the airplane ride?
11. What drink should you have before calling the police?
12. What do you need to float around the North Atlantic for several days?
13. What might Carlin have brought on board?
14. Where does he fly?
15. Is "terminal snackbar" an appropriate name?
16. How is Beverly Hills' new restaurant for bulimia victims called? What was the alternative name?
17. How could the homeless easily make it in the US?
18. What do working people not mind near them and why?
19. How exciting can watching golf on TV be?
20. Why does Carlin watch auto racing?
21. What does he do about water that sucks?
22. What did the Earth need us for?
23. What does the big electron do?

So, how many can you find out? And yes, I know I'm a hopeless case.  Wink
And please do post more questions!


Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
13 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineVH-KCT* From Australia, joined May 2001, 479 posts, RR: 2
Reply 1, posted (9 years 2 weeks 1 day 22 hours ago) and read 2122 times:

And a few more (not necessarily from Jammin' in New York)...

24. Carlin can't understand why they use the word flightdeck instead of...
25. Whoever coined the phrase let the buyer beware was probably bleeding from...
26. Carlin decides to ride in the plane with folks in...
27. What's his plan to evacuate the aircraft incase of an accident?
28. A certain gentleman is described as wearing a Grateful Dead T-shirt and a ... hat.
29. "I walk like this all the time, it's the ... stage of ..."
30. Carlin notes that mice have no...  Smile



I am The Stig
User currently offlineKomododx From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (9 years 2 weeks 1 day 22 hours ago) and read 2114 times:

1. Nothing
2. Germany
3. Prick waving
4.
5. I wonder if she likes me... (or something like that)
6. Impossible
7. Louisiana
8. Undercarriage
9. He doesn't want to get on, like Evil Knivel
10. Safety lecture
11.
12. Your seat cushion... filled with beer farts!
13. His arrow head collection
14. Where does he fly?
15. No!
16. The empty platter...

Too lazy to do the rest. But I like this thread!

Stefano  wave 


User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8685 posts, RR: 43
Reply 3, posted (9 years 2 weeks 1 day 22 hours ago) and read 2112 times:

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):

Shoot, I am addicted! I knew all answers instantly, except no. 30!  rotfl 



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8685 posts, RR: 43
Reply 4, posted (9 years 2 weeks 1 day 22 hours ago) and read 2108 times:

Quoting Komododx (Reply 2):
5. I wonder if she likes me... (or something like that)
8. Undercarriage
14. Where does he fly?
15. No!
16. The empty platter...

These weren't (entirely) correct.  Wink



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineN1120A From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 26361 posts, RR: 76
Reply 5, posted (9 years 2 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 2080 times:

Quoting Komododx (Reply 2):
But I like this thread!

How can you? Carlin is the antithesis of you



Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierte le French kiss
User currently offlineLogan22L From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (9 years 2 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 2073 times:

Don't ban me Mods; just quoting the great George Carlin:

Sh*t, p*ss, f*ck, c*nt, c*cks*cker, motherf*cker, t*ts.

http://www.erenkrantz.com/Humor/SevenDirtyWords.shtml

I agree with GC: t*ts doesn't even belong on the list.

Cheers,

Logan


User currently offlineKomododx From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (9 years 2 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 2070 times:

Quoting N1120A (Reply 5):
How can you? Carlin is the antithesis of you

Maybe you should read my other post... about 100 more times! Did you even get the point? I'm tired of the hypocrisy. I never said I hated Muslims.

Stefano  wave 


User currently offlineANCFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (9 years 2 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 2068 times:

Quoting Aloges (Thread starter):
12. What do you need to float around the North Atlantic for several days?

Seat Cushion - full of beer farts!  laughing 

Quoting Aloges (Thread starter):
13. What might Carlin have brought on board?

Fountain from the Park  crazy  "My Arrowhead Collection"  crazy  Pick one.

Quoting Aloges (Thread starter):
21. What does he do about water that sucks?

Drinks it.  yuck 

Quoting Aloges (Thread starter):
6. Can you sneeze while you're taking a piss?

Nope!  no 

Quoting Aloges (Thread starter):
9. Why does Carlin want to get in the plane, as opposed to on it? Who should get on it?

Less Wind in there and Evil Knevil  wideeyed 

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
24. Carlin can't understand why they use the word flightdeck instead of...

Cockpit . . .  spit 

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
26. Carlin decides to ride in the plane with folks in...

Uniform  whiteflag 

Another Question: Why do we all need houses?
And Another: What does Carlin think about Non-Stop Plane Flights?
And Again: Uniformed Crew Members as opposed to what?

Enough for now - I laffin to damn hard!

Great thread by the by!


User currently offlineVH-KCT* From Australia, joined May 2001, 479 posts, RR: 2
Reply 9, posted (9 years 2 weeks 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 2046 times:

Quoting ANCFlyer (Reply 8):
What does Carlin think about Non-Stop Plane Flights?

He doesn't care for them at all. He rathers that they stop... preferably at an airport! It's those sudden unscheduled stops in fields and housing estates that really interrupt the flow of his day! Big grin



I am The Stig
User currently offlineBaylorAirBear From United States of America, joined Jan 2005, 2913 posts, RR: 50
Reply 10, posted (9 years 2 weeks 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 2044 times:

Quoting Logan22L (Reply 6):
agree with GC: t*ts doesn't even belong on the list.

New Nabisco tits. Sugar tits, and pizza tits, and tater tits.

BaylorAirBear

edit: I saw him recently in Bass Hall in Ft. Worth. Great to see him in person.

[Edited 2005-07-12 06:18:28]


I'm just skipping stones...
User currently offlineCfalk From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (9 years 2 weeks 1 day 17 hours ago) and read 2025 times:

Carlin was so funny in the 60's, 70's and early 80's. His whole act changed around 1990, though, I guess in response to all the new "shock" comics, and he just turned into this enraged nut, far too political in my opinion. He acts like he's furious at everything. Even Sam Kenison did not get you wired up like that.

And as far as his political opinions go, if I want politics, I'll read the paper or watch the local public access channel. I don't go to a comedian.

He was a lot funnier before.

Charles


User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8685 posts, RR: 43
Reply 12, posted (9 years 2 weeks 1 day ago) and read 1984 times:

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
24. Carlin can't understand why they use the word flightdeck instead of...

COCKPIT! Especially with all those stewardesses going in and out of there all the time!

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
25. Whoever coined the phrase let the buyer beware was probably bleeding from...

the ass!

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
26. Carlin decides to ride in the plane with folks in...

uniform.

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
27. What's his plan to evacuate the aircraft incase of an accident?

He'll go around the fat fuck, step on the widow's head, push those children out of the way, knock down the paralysed midget and get out of the plane where he can help others.

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
28. A certain gentleman is described as wearing a Grateful Dead T-shirt and a ... hat.

It's a "Fuck You" hat.

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
29. "I walk like this all the time, it's the ... stage of ..."

It's the third stage of syphilis!

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
30. Carlin notes that mice have no...

shoulders at all. I had to Google this one, though.



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineMonteycarlos From Australia, joined Mar 2005, 2107 posts, RR: 29
Reply 13, posted (9 years 1 week 6 days 10 hours ago) and read 1941 times:

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 1):
And a few more (not necessarily from Jammin' in New York)...

24. Carlin can't understand why they use the word flightdeck instead of...
25. Whoever coined the phrase let the buyer beware was probably bleeding from...
26. Carlin decides to ride in the plane with folks in...
27. What's his plan to evacuate the aircraft incase of an accident?
28. A certain gentleman is described as wearing a Grateful Dead T-shirt and a ... hat.
29. "I walk like this all the time, it's the ... stage of ..."
30. Carlin notes that mice have no...

24. Cockpit... I don't understand why they wouldn't use such a lovely word as COCKpit...

25. Ass!

27. By bypassing the widow and standing on the kids?

28. But who is going to return him to his original and upright position... I found the part about the stewardess asking passengers to look for things they "may" have brought on board... that was funny.

29. Third stage of syphillus... hmmm?

30. No shoulders, of course not, its a mouse... the necklace would fall down to its waist and the mouse would wear it as a belt, but what does it know... its a f**king mouse!



It's a beautiful night to fly like a phoenix...
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