Sponsor Message:
Non Aviation Forum
My Starred Topics | Profile | New Topic | Forum Index | Help | Search 
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman Prank Call  
User currently offlineFlyBoeing From United States of America, joined May 2000, 866 posts, RR: 2
Posted (12 years 12 months 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 2524 times:

Background to all this: Dartmouth College's Parking Operations staff gives out tickets for parking without a permit in permit parking. Students(like me) get charged $50 with the fine doubling after each offense. Faculty get charged $10. Visitors get charged $20.

I wish I had some Command Presence. Imagine if in my dealings with Dartmouth Parking Operations I got sound clips from Full Metal Jacket and had Gunnery Sergeant Hartman be my voice. I bet I could get a lot done. Here's the way such a call would go.

HS = Hapless Secretary
DP = Director of Parking Operations
GH = Gunnery Sergeant Hartman

HS: "Hello, Parking Operations. Elizabeth speaking, how may I direct your call?"

GH: (Click to play the sound clip)

HS: "Well, no, sir, actually, my parents just thought that Elizabeth was a pretty name."

GH:

Dead silence on the line as the secretary tries to compose herself.

GH:

HS: "Sir, how can I help you? Has your car been immobilized? Would you like to contest a ticket?"

GH:

HS: "Please hold for the Director of Parking Operations."

DP: "Good morning, sir, my name is Lawrence, the Director of Parking Operations. How can I help you?"

GH:

DP: "umm... OK. Now, my secretary tells me about a 'jelly donut'. Did one of our officers squash a jelly donut? How can we resolve this problem?"

GH: (Click the two sound clips in succession)

DP: "If you're referring to our policy of doubling fines on student cars parked illegally, there is no negotiation on that issue. You're just going to have to pay the fine."

GH:

DP: "I'm sorry sir. The Trustees make the rules. I just enforce them."

GH:

DP: "Oooh, I didn't know you were an underprivileged minority. I'm sorry, sir. If our parking officers were in any way discriminatory..."

GH:

DP: "Just send me your ticket and all the records of your violation and I'll have them all cancelled."

GH:



Sounds are courtesy of Mark Getty's Full Metal Jacket Page


11 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineFlyBoeing From United States of America, joined May 2000, 866 posts, RR: 2
Reply 1, posted (12 years 12 months 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 2438 times:

come on, guys, you know Gunnery Sergeant Hartman is funny... right?  Innocent

User currently offlineAirlinelover From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5580 posts, RR: 23
Reply 2, posted (12 years 12 months 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 2426 times:

I am laughing SO HARD my neighbors are getting pissed! You are now on my respected users list! DUDE, YOU ROCK!

Chris



Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
User currently offlineFlyBoeing From United States of America, joined May 2000, 866 posts, RR: 2
Reply 3, posted (12 years 12 months 2 days 23 hours ago) and read 2407 times:

Thanks, Airlinelover. Now if only some other folks would click here...

User currently offlineAirlinelover From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5580 posts, RR: 23
Reply 4, posted (12 years 12 months 2 days 22 hours ago) and read 2407 times:

No problem. I love to see/hear stuff that cracks me up..

Chris



Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
User currently offlineFlyBoeing From United States of America, joined May 2000, 866 posts, RR: 2
Reply 5, posted (12 years 12 months 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 2387 times:

Who should Gunnery Sergeant Hartman call next?

User currently offlineAirsicknessbag From Germany, joined Aug 2000, 4723 posts, RR: 34
Reply 6, posted (12 years 12 months 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 2384 times:


I just returned from the movies. The guy in front of me kept unwrapping some food noisily, talked to his chick and farted all the time. I think he deserves a call.

Daniel Smile


User currently offlineAirlinelover From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5580 posts, RR: 23
Reply 7, posted (12 years 12 months 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 2375 times:

Must've been from Taylor..

Chris



Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
User currently offline174thfwff From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (12 years 12 months 1 day 1 hour ago) and read 2373 times:

how do you insert sound clips into this forum? what about small movie clips, can you post those also?

User currently offlineFlyBoeing From United States of America, joined May 2000, 866 posts, RR: 2
Reply 9, posted (12 years 12 months 1 day 1 hour ago) and read 2373 times:

You shouldn't put movie clips in; the sound clips already slow the loading of this page pretty considerably.

Basically, if you want to see how somebody does something, you look at the original source HTML code. Just go to the View Menu then click on Source. The code for embedding audio is the same as that for embeddin pictures, with a couple of other aspects. Here is a sample piece of my code:

*embed src="http://www.getty.net/fullmetaljacket/royalty.wav" autostart="false" loop="false" volume="100" width="51" height="20" controls="smallconsole"*

with * replaced by < and >

Enjoy!



User currently offline174thfwff From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (12 years 12 months 1 day ago) and read 2369 times:

Wow, jeese, thanks mister!

Thanks again.


User currently offlineKROC From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (12 years 12 months 22 hours ago) and read 2366 times:

I LOVE Full Metal Jacket. Thanks for the great call, and also the web page with the sound bites!!!

Top Of Page
Forum Index

This topic is archived and can not be replied to any more.

Printer friendly format

Similar topics:More similar topics...
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman Prank Call posted Mon Aug 6 2001 03:48:51 by FlyBoeing
Boy's 911 Call Considered Prank; Mother Dies posted Fri Apr 7 2006 16:47:48 by FOMEA
Canada MP Reject Pm Call Revisit Same Sex Marraige posted Fri Dec 8 2006 00:57:10 by Jimyvr
What Do You Call This? posted Tue Nov 28 2006 10:56:55 by RootsAir
Computer Prank Time :-D posted Sat Nov 18 2006 01:29:57 by Bagpiper
Let's Bash The Democrats & Call It Headline News posted Wed Nov 8 2006 03:25:51 by SATX
Aviation (?) Nicknames You Call Your Gf posted Fri Oct 27 2006 04:44:53 by KLM672
Beirut Rejects Olmert Peace Deal Call posted Tue Oct 17 2006 22:40:40 by Cedars747
Drudge Report: Foley Im's Was Prank Gone Awry posted Thu Oct 5 2006 23:42:18 by Jcs17
Why We Call It "Football" posted Sun Sep 17 2006 02:01:49 by FlyDeltaJets87