In effect, I think, after restrospection, it's stopping the coddling of spoiled brat kids who call mommy and daddy, even at 19 years of age, who don't get their way.
The kids should learn to grow up, and become functioning adults, and the parents should stay out of it and tell Junior or Ursula to cut the umbillical cord, and stop meddling with the universtiy of plumbing in China.
DL021 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 11454 posts, RR: 72
Reply 1, posted (10 years 8 months 6 days 12 hours ago) and read 2605 times:
Students today are way too connected to their parents in many ways, as seen in the increasing trend of teenagers waiting longer to learn to drive or show inclinations to want to leave the roost. Going away to college, or the service or whatever, used to mean letters were the main way of communicating and students had to learn to deal with things on their own.
Now they almost don't have to feel like they've left their homes........
I think it's a problem.
Quoting Falcon84 (Thread starter): I will tell the rest of my family to shoot me (with a gun provided by ANCFlyer), if I EVER get like this with my kids:
C'mon dude, don't subject your family to that....let one of us do it!
We'll miss at the last second so you can see your life flash before your eyes and then check to see if you still want to.
Seriously though - I hate parents like this - let your dang kids grow up and be adults and learn self-sufficiency and responsibility. These parents that weigh in on every decision made for/by their kids are ridiculous.
I did have to laugh at the parent that called to bitch about the plumbing in China . . . that was special . . .
From the article, "It's the intercession on a regular basis they're trying to discourage, and I think it's important they do," he said. "Kids are much more self-confident and develop better decision-making skills if they're given the opportunity to make decisions for themselves."
The article demonstrates a continuing problem IMO with the X-Box kids of today. Mom and Dad are either too involved - as the article discusses, or completely oblivious which I think is more often the case. Too few know how to strike the balance.
Newark777 From United States of America, joined Dec 2004, 9348 posts, RR: 27
Reply 7, posted (10 years 8 months 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 2551 times:
Having moved in Thursday, I have a fresh perspective on this issue.
Personally speaking, I wanted my parents out as soon as possible. I wanted to go out and meet people and do things; I like that independence. I saw parents, though, who stuck with their kids the entire day, helping them along with whatever they did. One parent even bought someone's books for them.
My favorite parent has to be the one who bought the guy down the hall a bottle of Kahula and JD. Nice guy.
Falcon84 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (10 years 8 months 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 2526 times:
Quoting LY744 (Reply 10): Was that article a satire, or is that what going to college in the States really like?!
Dead serious. Think about it. If your parents can afford sending you to a school for 40 big ones a year, you, more than likely, have lived a very comfortable, often spoiled existence, until you leave the family nest. You've never had a worry, really, in the world. You're used to mommy and daddy taking care of everything.
Off you go to Colgate, and the room isn't like you'e used to; the food may not be; even, as we see, accomodations on school-sponsored trips (the China "fiasco" in this story), aren't up to your standards-so you do what you've always done-cry to mommy and daddy, who then cry to the school.
Well, schools are starting to tell the parents: "We don't care what you paid, butt out", and telling the kids "Grow up, an cut the umbillicle cord to home".
I'm glad to see this starting to happen.
Family should be there for you when things get tough, but they shouldn't be there to bail you out every time lunch isn't cooked right, or when you don't study hard enough.
It would be unfair to say ALL or even a majority of parents are like this, but I can definitely see on these high-end schools, who charge more than my yearly salary for tuition, and the people they normally cater to, having problems like this.
USAFHummer From United States of America, joined May 2000, 10685 posts, RR: 51
Reply 12, posted (10 years 8 months 6 days 10 hours ago) and read 2479 times:
I'm in my 3rd year here at college, and being an only child, my folks have always been close to me and overprotective in a way, and I knew coming out here to Colorado, it would be tough on them, but it was something that needed to be done...if I had gone to a school closer to home, I can very easily imagine my parents being these so-called "helicopter parents", which is part of the reason why I went so far away, and it seems to be working...my folks have done a very nice job of staying out of my college life, and letting me handle things here...quite a pleasant surprise...
Chief A.net college football stadium self-pic guru
CaptOveur From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (10 years 8 months 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 2422 times:
Two words... Boy Scouts.
It taught me self-reliance, problem solving skills, how to work with what you have, cooking, basic medical skills, and thousands of other things people my age or younger seem to be missing.
In my troop, (this was the late 1990s) we had plenty of people who came in as whiney little bitches. A few years spending 1 weekend a month and a week or two in the summer in the woods in some far off corner of Ohio, or the mountains of the western US did a lot to grow all of us into mature, fast thinking individuals, with good teamwork skills. I will wager the people that dropped out are now the ones with the helicopter parents bugging the fuck out of wherever they are in college. Because of that period of my life I would put my problem solving skills up against anyone else's.
I sit in college classrooms, or just talk to my girlfriend or her sister and I know we have turned into a nation of pussies. People just are not resourceful anymore. I see it every day, students whining about a problem instead of trying to figure out how to solve it. It makes me nuts, I may not always get said problem correct, but at least I tried and got somewhere on my own, and I learned something in doing it.
Example: My girlfriend's sister is the biggest wuss. She is 19 and talks to her parents EVERY night for at least an hour. I know I don't have that much to say to my parents, and I live a lot further from them. Her parents even still do her laundry for her. Things aren't helped by the fact they either let her go home, or go to her every single weekend. It is really really sad. Someday she is going to get into a jam that mommy can't bail her out of and she will just melt down. Oh yeah, and telling her that she needs to learn some independence makes her cry.
CV990A From United States of America, joined Sep 1999, 1476 posts, RR: 0
Reply 14, posted (10 years 8 months 5 days 16 hours ago) and read 2375 times:
As a Colgate alum, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw this article this morning. There are a good number of princesses from Westchester and Fairfield Counties there who I am sure wouldn't hesitate to cry to mommy and daddy because they have the wrong kind of organic tofu in the dining hall. (I'd kill to know what the food service workers there said about some of the students behind their backs...) However, I was surprised that the administration felt it was becoming that big a problem. Still- kudos to Adam Weinberg and 'The Chopper' for this one.
Saxdiva From United States of America, joined Jun 2004, 2384 posts, RR: 36
Reply 16, posted (10 years 8 months 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 2311 times:
Interesting that this article comes up now... in less than a week, my husband and I will depart for Italy with 22 eighteen and nineteen year-olds for three months, part of a study abroad program at a local community college. It seems like most of the kids are actually pretty well-adjusted (a few have been in programs like this before), but there are a few parents who I think are going to suffer. In a pre-departure orientation, one gentleman, in particular, was kind of over-the-top; he found it necessary to interrupt the faculty representatives several times so that he could fill us in on critical bits of information such as how best to exchange currency, how eurail passes worked, and what times AF departed LAX-CDG every Sunday (it was everything I could do to not tell *him* exactly what equipment we'd be flying on for each leg of the trip).
I'm starting to think that if this guy comes to visit, his daughter will arrange to be out of town for the duration. I know *I* will.
Flybyguy From United States of America, joined Jun 2004, 1815 posts, RR: 1
Reply 17, posted (10 years 8 months 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 2285 times:
I would probably call my parents "Helicopter Parents" they wouldn't even allow me to drive by myself from school back to NYC and I'm 23 years old! My mom especially would say you never know about the weirdos that you can find on the road and especially at rest stops. She says they could be all innocent and friendly and then axe you to death in some dark and disagreeable place.
I have to admit I believed her for some time... Most parents tell their kids not to talk to strangers when they start going to school... not my parents... they go two steps further. When I was younger they taped several episodes of UN-Solved Mysteries of kidnapped children (especially with grotesque and forced me to watch them back to back and I was only 9 years old when they started doing that. They pretty much told me that if I talked to strangers that some fat pervert will rape me, cut my head off and dump my body in a dumpster for rats to feed on.
Talk about scaring.
My parents also didn't allow me to have a job in high school like everyone else because they said it would interfere with my studies and would reflect poorly on them in that people would think that they could not provide for their children. So I have not held a paying job in my life due to my parent's adamant opposition to it.
Otherwise, I love my parents and they only did what they thought was best.
"Are you a pretender... or a thoroughbred?!" - Professor Matt Miller
AeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 20822 posts, RR: 60
Reply 19, posted (10 years 8 months 5 days 12 hours ago) and read 2243 times:
Quoting Flybyguy (Reply 17): My parents also didn't allow me to have a job in high school like everyone else because they said it would interfere with my studies and would reflect poorly on them in that people would think that they could not provide for their children. So I have not held a paying job in my life due to my parent's adamant opposition to it.
My best friend in high school, from the obviously most wealthy family in the area (read: railroad baron wealth), worked 3 hours after school every day as a clerk at the local pharmacy. His GPA was 3.9 and he got into Stanford.
A condition of my being able to dip into my trust to buy a new car in high school was that part of it be financed, and I had to work to pay for part of it myself, to learn how to manage credit.
A trust baby friend whose wealth could buy and sell small nations, worked weekends at a gift shop through college.
This whole idea of sheltering the realities of life from the day one can speak, or how it might look to the neighbors, is quite foreign to most of the people I know, rich or poor. I'm glad Colgate is finally doing something to bring things that have gotten out of hand back in line.
Texdravid From United States of America, joined May 2004, 1412 posts, RR: 0
Reply 21, posted (10 years 8 months 5 days 11 hours ago) and read 2210 times:
The article mentioned my old alma mater, Washington University in St. Louis.
Interestingly, the campus was about 60% East coast upper crust kids, and the rest was from the midwest. The east coast kids didn't even want to be there, as they didn't get into Harvard and were still stinging from the rejection.
Most of their parents got them BMW's and expensive vacations as a consolation prize.
The wealth and opulence of those kids were amazing, and still amazes me to this day. I tell you, I was mad at my dad and mom for not giving me the 5 star vacation or the BMW at age 19 at the time, even though they could.
Now, looking back, living in the dorms, driving a Ford Tempo, and then moving on to a off campus apartment RIGHT next to Amtrak lines toughened me up and made me realize that one has to earn his/her own keep in this world.
It was probably one of the best things they did.
Seb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 14008 posts, RR: 14
Reply 22, posted (10 years 8 months 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 2197 times:
I really like this quote:
"We get quoted the price tag frequently," said Dean of Student Affairs Jim Terhune. "But what you're paying for is an education, not a room at the Sheraton, and sometimes that education is uncomfortable."
What ever happened to kids who could not wait to get out on their own away from mommy and daddy? I understand parents being concerned for their children's well being, but seriously! Don't these parents remember how oppressed they felt in high school and the freedom they felt when they got to college? They didn't have to ask their parents to stay out late or be nagged into studying?
767Lover From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 24, posted (10 years 8 months 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 2132 times:
I really worry about the future generation of businesspeople. Seriously-- it seems that young people are a lot more thin-skinned and "needy" than we were. How will they ever cope in a real-life situation where things are not all fair and just and comfy?
I remember getting fired from a summer job im college because I didn't meet the "quota" and I stormed home all furious, because some people who weren't selling got to stay on another week. I expected my parents to react. They were like, "hey, life's not fair. Learn from it."
I believe that was the best advice they've ever given me in my 38 years.
: Survival of the fittest. Yes, there are quite a bit of these "hold my hand" kids out there. As a college graduate, I'm almost thankful for their exis
: Remove "istant" from "assistant", and I think you have it there, KROC.
: Actually, I'm a grad student now. I feel that maybe gradschool might tip my lack of a job resume in my favor when it comes to the job market... hopef
: Mmmm, this Big Mac's even better with a bunch of fries insides...*chomp**chomp* Oh, you were talking to me? Signed, JCS17
: I think your buddy's .50 would put on a nice show
: Many Colleges/Universities are using tactics like at Colgate to keep the 'hovering' parents away from their kids and to encourage them to grow up and
: I have to share one little story from Med School with you: Early in the first semester (freshman year, of course), one of our profs told us about the