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Don´t Show This To Your Wife, Fiancee Or Sister...  
User currently offlineBMIFlyer From UK - England, joined Feb 2004, 8810 posts, RR: 58
Posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 2343 times:

...or you´ll be in real trouble!!!


Drive Thru Banking... How to do it properly  Wink


Please note that "xxx" Bank is installing new "Drive-thru" cash point machines, so customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

To enable users to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances (ie. MALE or FEMALE) and remember them for when you use the machine for the first time  


MALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to the cash machine.

2 Wind down your car window.

3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt

6 Wind up window

7 Drive off


FEMALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to cash machine

2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine

3 Re-start the stalled engine

4 Wind down the window

5 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

6 Turn the radio down

7 Attempt to insert card into machine

8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car

9 Insert card

10 Re-insert card the right way up

11 Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

12 Enter PIN.

13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

14 Enter amount of cash required

15 Check make up in rear view mirror

16 Retrieve cash and receipt

17 Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside

18 Place receipt in back of cheque book

19 Re-check make-up again

20 Drive forwards 2 meters

21 Reverse back to cash machine

22 Retrieve card

23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided

24 Restart stalled engine and pull off

25 Drive for 2 to 3 miles and release handbrake



Happy Flying  


Lee

[Edited 2005-09-09 22:49:42]


Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
15 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineMatt27 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 2335 times:

I've heard this many times before, but it's still funny  rotf 

User currently offlineDL021 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 11447 posts, RR: 75
Reply 2, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 2311 times:

It seems to work the same way in the states...oops

my wife just walked in and I don't know what you guys are talking about!



Is my Pan Am ticket to the moon still good?
User currently offlineTPASXM787 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 1730 posts, RR: 19
Reply 3, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 2285 times:

HAHA

That is so true, my girlfriend always digs through her purse...where is my f*cking card!

She does have a bit of a dirty mouth.  Wink



This is the Last Stop.
User currently offlineScbriml From United Kingdom, joined Jul 2003, 12877 posts, RR: 46
Reply 4, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 6 days 1 hour ago) and read 2234 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Quoting TPASXM787 (Reply 3):
She does have a bit of a dirty mouth.

The best ones always do!  wink 



Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana! #44cHAMpion
User currently offlineB744F From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 0 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 6 days 1 hour ago) and read 2216 times:

Quoting BMIFlyer (Thread starter):
25 Drive for 2 to 3 miles and release handbrake

pretty funny! this was the best


User currently offlineSan747 From United States of America, joined Dec 2004, 4965 posts, RR: 12
Reply 6, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 2131 times:

My mom is almost as bad! She takes an hour to do the ATM, and when we pull up to it, no one will be there, but by the time we're finished, there's 3 to 5 cars behind us! And then she pulls up about 20 feet to put everything away, and then finally, we leave....


Scotty doesn't know...
User currently offlineSW733 From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 6371 posts, RR: 9
Reply 7, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 2120 times:

Haha...I was home visiting about a month ago, and was with my mom in the car when we stopped at an ATM in suburban Chicago. She took so long to get her money that the ATM took the money back...I sh*t you not. Good times.

User currently offlineSCCutler From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 5615 posts, RR: 28
Reply 8, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 2014 times:

My wife has never, in the 25 or so years since ATMs began to be seen, used one. She does not even carry an ATM card.

Her "ATM" is my wallet, from which she readily extracts cash she might need, along with he AmEx and Nordstom cards, which she uses to great effect.



...three miles from BRONS, clear for the ILS one five approach...
User currently offlineBMIFlyer From UK - England, joined Feb 2004, 8810 posts, RR: 58
Reply 9, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 1984 times:

Quoting SCCutler (Reply 8):
Her "ATM" is my wallet, from which she readily extracts cash she might need, along with he AmEx and Nordstom cards, which she uses to great effect.

One of the reasons why i'm not married yet (keeps my credit card safe)  Wink


Lee



Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
User currently offlineAirbuzz From Canada, joined Jan 2009, 0 posts, RR: 0
Reply 10, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 1947 times:

Quoting BMIFlyer (Thread starter):
25 Drive for 2 to 3 miles and release handbrake

LOL Big grin

Quoting BMIFlyer (Reply 9):
Quoting SCCutler (Reply 8):
Her "ATM" is my wallet, from which she readily extracts cash she might need, along with he AmEx and Nordstom cards, which she uses to great effect.

One of the reasons why i'm not married yet (keeps my credit card safe)

Amen!!!


User currently offlineDtwclipper From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 1938 times:

It never fails that I get behind some Sesame Street impaired ATM user!!!!

Not only do they have trouble with numbers, but basic ATM etiquette.

"honey, when your done with the ATM, pull up five feet, then put your stuff away so the rest of us can get going!"

BTW, why do Drive up ATM's have Braille numbers? That to me is even more worrisome!


User currently offlineGeoffm From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2004, 2111 posts, RR: 6
Reply 12, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 1900 times:

Female in supermarket finishes packing her bags. Looks at checkout operator expectantly. "That'll be £xx please". Female looks momentarily confused and then realises "oh, you mean I have to PAY?". Gets out handbag. Digs through handbag for purse. Finds purse. Digs through purse to find cards and coupons. Checks through coupons and finds none are valid anyway. Eventually completes transaction.

Male in supermarket. Cards and valid coupons already in operator's hands even before finished packing.

Every bloody time.

Geoff M.


User currently offlineDtwclipper From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 1893 times:

Quoting Geoffm (Reply 12):
Male in supermarket. Cards and valid coupons already in operator's hands even before finished packing.

I couldn't agree more. When I am at the supermarket, I have either my Credit Card out, or my Checkbook out, check filled in, except for the amount, ID ready to go, and at the same time making sure the prices are correctly rung up!


User currently offlineBR715-A1-30 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 14, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 4 days 6 hours ago) and read 1763 times:

Quoting Scbriml (Reply 4):
Quoting TPASXM787 (Reply 3):
She does have a bit of a dirty mouth.

The best ones always do!

I second that... My ex-girlfriend (Now My best friend has one of the dirtiest mouths I have heard from a girl... I like it  Smile


User currently offlineAsstChiefMark From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 15, posted (9 years 3 months 1 week 4 days 5 hours ago) and read 1732 times:

Quoting Geoffm (Reply 12):
Male in supermarket. Cards and valid coupons already in operator's hands even before finished packing.

I'm good at doing math in my head. I hand the cashier the money BEFORE she/he starts scanning. I typically get about two or three bucks in change.

It surprises the cashier. And it pisses of my girlfriend. She thinks it's rude. Whatever.

Mark


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