Airlinelover From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5580 posts, RR: 21 Posted (10 years 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 2471 times:
One of the upcoming topics for discussion in class is marriage in 2005 vs say the 40s/50s etc.. Namely how some women dont like taking the guys last name anymore.. SOme women think it's not right for men to want the girl to take the name, they think the guy should take the girls name. They think the "old way" is sexist, takes away thier rights, etc..
I'd like to hear all your opinions on this subject before class.
Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
AirWillie6475 From United States of America, joined Jan 2005, 2448 posts, RR: 1
Reply 1, posted (10 years 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 2462 times:
MOST do want to take their husbands last name because after all it doesn't make a whole lot of difference if your planning on staying together till you die like your supposed to. I think this BS women complaining happens only in the U.S and it's because the women don't plan on staying with the husband. It's understandable since half the marriages will end in divorce here anyways. I am also willing to bet that these women who don't want to take their husbands last name are in the upper/wealthy class, because it's all about taking the money.
Canuckpaxguy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (10 years 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 2383 times:
I know some women who are quite established in their careers who are afraid of changing their names for fear that many may not recognize the name. There are a number of women I work with who legally changed their name to their husbands'; but used a hyphenated name at work...and since no one EVER uses the hyphenated name, (only the first part of it), they seem to have their cake and eat it too.
I don't think it's a feminist thing anymore. Some women feel empowered by keeping their own name, while others feel empowered by taking their husband's.
I think it's more a sign of the changing times. Women are no longer just "wives" and matriarchs. They're career women with their own established identities with valid concerns for changing their names.
I'd hope my wife would take my name if I were to marry --- but given my last name, I wouldn't blame the woman for not wanting to take it!
As for the kids --- I'd want them to have my name. I'm still a bit stubborn on that one.
Canuckpaxguy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (10 years 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 2363 times:
Quoting STLGph (Reply 7): Empowered...or devout in their religious obligations to the head of the household making sure the table is set every night promptly at 5 p.m.?
Nah. Has absolutely nothing to do with religion.
I think it has more to do with saying, "I am not a spinster!".
I have a client who is a very wealthy, self-made woman, who always insists on being called MRS. She always jokes, "Hey, snagging my husband was the hardest thing I eved did. You're damn right I'm MRS So-and-so.
Or maybe, just maybe, it could be simply the woman's preference to take her husband's name.
Seb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 13067 posts, RR: 14
Reply 10, posted (10 years 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 2344 times:
Tradition. The wife takes the husbands last name. It has been happening for so long but this is a different era. The wife does not stay home baking cookies waiting for Sally and Timmy to come running home from school to do their chores and finish thier homework. Times have changed. The invitations no longer go out to Mr. and Mrs. Ward Cleaver. Now, it is Mr. Ward Cleaver and Dr. June Smith who have been happily married for 15 years. It is just one of the many many things to discuss before a couple gets married.
TNboy From Australia, joined Mar 2002, 1131 posts, RR: 19
Reply 12, posted (10 years 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 2329 times:
I've always found it a bit odd that so many American women seem to have three names - (keeping their original name as a middle name?).... e.g. Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy, Mary Tyler Moore, etc., etc. There seem to be plenty of examples around, and its something we dont see in Australia. Maybe its just a celebrity thing?
Regupilot From Puerto Rico, joined Jan 2004, 495 posts, RR: 23
Reply 13, posted (10 years 6 days 21 hours ago) and read 2310 times:
I'm not sure if its like this in most Latin America, but in Puerto Rico and Dominican Republic (Puerto Rico being a US Commomwealth) the wife keeps her name, and the family name becomes both wife and husband names. For example:
Husband: Hector Torres -> Mr. Torres
Wife: Maria Perez -> Mrs. Perez
This will be the house of the Torrez Perez Family.
Kids will be named, Hector Jr. Torres Perez / Maria Jr. Torres Perez.
The whole system is set for both last names. However, as the Puertorricans become more americanized (by USA) they are more likely to use only one name (The husband's -duh!-).. but most of the time its a pride thing. We are raised with two last names and that's how we are buried as well.
SLC1 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 17, posted (10 years 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 2262 times:
I'm really bored so i figured out how I would do it if I were the supreme ruler of all things:
EDIT: that could have been so much more nicely said like this:
You carry your name through either a maternal or a paternal line, and that is your name, however you borrow the name of your parent of the opposite sex when unmarried, and then your spouse when you are married - hyphenating your name with the borrowed name in whatever way sounds best.
1. You can have the same name as your parents for the entire time that you are a child & your children have your name until they marry (unless there be children of multiple marriages, in which case at least part of the name will be the same)
2. You can have the exact same name as your spouse, while retaining a part of your family name
3. Neither the female nor the male is given priority
4. Your parents' name and your childrens' names will all have at least 1/2-similarity with your own
In reality, I think it really comes down to what the couple really wants to do. If they want to do the traditional thing, that's great, hyphenate, that's great too, not change names altogether, so's that.