Dtwclipper From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Posted (4 years 1 month 3 weeks 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 753 times:
I have three brothers, let's call them:
Brother Boston
Brother New York
Brother Detroit
Brother New York's son is getting married on Sunday in... well, New York.
Since his fiancée's parents can't afford it, Brother New York is paying for the entire wedding. My parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner, also in New York.
Brother Detroit and myself went in together and bought the 'kids' the starter set of All Clad cookware plus some additional pieces for about $300.00 each.
Now for the idiot brother, Brother Boston. He sends my nephew a gift as well.
Cash, no. Something the registered for, no.
My nephew got a card in the mail saying "a contribution has been made in your honor" to a certain charity.
Is this not the dumbest thing you have ever heard of!!!
GRANTED he should have gotten them something utilitarian at a minumum. I'm not defendng his actions from a typical point of view, but...
My Parents for example have everything they really need. If they don't have it and want it, they get it as they have the resources.
My Parents ASK FOR, and I am happy to give them, Donations to the daily bread food bank in their name. So this makes sense.
I'd be STUNNED your nephew made such a request; so yes, your brother is likely a jackass if nothing else for giving them something they didn't need at all.
Pe@rson From United Kingdom (England), joined Jan 2001, 16722 posts, RR: 58 Reply 7, posted (4 years 1 month 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 723 times:
Well, when my brother recently got married, he expressly told people not to buy him anything as he didn't need it. People nevertheless did, of course, but hey.
I strongly oppose, for instance, animal cruelty. So if someone I knew wanted to donate £1 million to a charity I support, then fantastic.
Diamond From United States, joined Apr 2004, 3252 posts, RR: 82 Reply 8, posted (4 years 1 month 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 723 times:
AIRLINERS.NET CREW FORUM MODERATOR
Do brother Boston and brother New York get along?
It seems that brother Boston was buying his 'gift' purely out of obligation and formality. He threw away the chance to present a gift that brother New York and his wife might remember forever.
Maybe he was sending an unspoken message, "you're really not that important to me, but I guess I have to buy something."
Pe@rson From United Kingdom (England), joined Jan 2001, 16722 posts, RR: 58 Reply 9, posted (4 years 1 month 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 707 times:
If I get married (I would want to pay for it myself, well, myself and my wife), then I would be happy for people to contribute to an organisation or charity we/I believe in, particularly if we don't require any household stuff.
Dtwclipper From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 10, posted (4 years 1 month 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 707 times:
TedTAce:
Contributions like this are made for funerals, or other occasions, not for weddings or showers.
Quoting TedTAce (Reply 4): My Parents for example have everything they really need. If they don't have it and want it, they get it as they have the resources.
What does this have to do with anything? I glad your parents are comfortable, that's very nice.
Quoting TedTAce (Reply 4): I'd be STUNNED your nephew made such a request; so yes, your brother is likely a jackass if nothing else for giving them something they didn't need at all.
My nephew registered at a number of places that have locations across the country as well as web sites. There were plenty of options, and even if he didn't want to buy him something from one of his selections, he could have given him some cash or a piece of crystal!
Greasespot From Canada, joined Apr 2004, 2775 posts, RR: 29 Reply 11, posted (4 years 1 month 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 705 times:
Umm people do not get married to get some stupid gifts. If this gift came from Brother bostons heart it means the same as some materialistic posession.
Depending on the spirit of the gift it is entirely appropriate.
But I guess the "greedies" on here seem to think it is all about the gift and NOT the thought that counts.
GS
Sometimes life leaves a $100 on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it f..ked you
RobertNL070 From Netherlands, joined Sep 2003, 4199 posts, RR: 12 Reply 12, posted (4 years 1 month 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 698 times:
Quoting Pe@rson (Reply 9): then I would be happy for people to contribute to an organisation or charity we/I believe in, particularly if we don't require any household stuff
However Nephew New York, and spouse-to-be, didn't have any say in the matter.
Regards, Robert
The mind is like a parachute: it works better when open.
Dtwclipper From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 13, posted (4 years 1 month 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 697 times:
Quoting Greasespot (Reply 11): Umm people do not get married to get some stupid gifts. If this gift came from Brother bostons heart it means the same as some materialistic posession.
Oh come on, do you really believe that?
Quoting Greasespot (Reply 11): But I guess the "greedies" on here seem to think it is all about the gift and NOT the thought that counts.
No, it's not about the gift, but doing the "right thing" and this was not the right thing to do for a young couple getting married.
VSLover From United Kingdom (Scotland), joined Feb 2004, 1883 posts, RR: 32 Reply 14, posted (4 years 1 month 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 686 times:
Quoting Greasespot (Reply 11): Umm people do not get married to get some stupid gifts. If this gift came from Brother bostons heart it means the same as some materialistic posession
HAHHAHA. quite a good laugh so early in the morning!
ANCFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 15, posted (4 years 1 month 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 685 times:
I have four brothers. Brother Chicago is a kid, he didn't vote, he's married to a huge woman, he has a shitty job . . . loser.
Brother Milwaukee is a decent guy, Navy man, combat vet, married to a nice lady, has a great job since he retired from the service. . . winner.
Brother Anchorage is a complete pinhead. Total loser from every aspect. He is not welcome in my home and neither is the skank he's married to.
Brother Lexington is a doctor at UK, nice guy, great family, decent life. Winner.
CaptOveur From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 16, posted (4 years 1 month 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 680 times:
Quoting Greasespot (Reply 11): Umm people do not get married to get some stupid gifts. If this gift came from Brother bostons heart it means the same as some materialistic posession.
I was always under the impression the purpose of showers and wedding gifts was to get shit the new couple needs. If you can't afford anything just show up.. And get something that is on the fucking registry.. going off on your own is just stupid, the registry there is so the new couple doesnt end up with 50 different china patterns.
DesertJets From United States, joined Feb 2000, 6921 posts, RR: 29 Reply 18, posted (4 years 1 month 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 664 times:
This situation reminds me of a Seinfeld episode, the one where George creates a fake charity and gives his co-workers cards saying that a donation for $X was given in their name. Sounds like Brother Boston pulled a George Costanza.
Gifts for events like this should be of the practical nature. You have two young people (I am assuming they are young) starting their life off together, and building a home together. Oftentimes they do not have basic stuff like pots and pans, or towels, or small appliances. Or if they do it has been pieced together from hand-me-downs or cheap stuff from a discount store. The All-clad cookware set is a great gift. That stuff will last them for years and is immensely useful.
Now if there were charities or causes that the couple believed passionately in, a donation in their name would be appropriate in lieu of a toaster or a set of stemware. But just to pick a group that the couple may not have any interest in is just tacky.
Stop drop and roll will not save you in hell. --- seen on a church marque in rural Virginia
TedTAce From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 19, posted (4 years 1 month 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 644 times:
Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 10):
What does this have to do with anything? I glad your parents are comfortable, that's very nice.
Your such a jerk.. No wonder where your brother gets it from. You should have taken the statment in context... the OBVIOUS point you missed is that your nephew is unlikely in a simillar position, just like MOST of us, myself included.
Dtwclipper From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 21, posted (4 years 1 month 3 weeks 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 601 times:
Quoting TedTAce (Reply 19): Your such a jerk.. No wonder where your brother gets it from. You should have taken the statment in context... the OBVIOUS point you missed is that your nephew is unlikely in a simillar position, just like MOST of us, myself included.
Well, I am not going to get nasty nor immature, you've done a nice job on your own.
If I misread your post, the correct thing to do, would be to point it out in a positive way.
Lutenist From Canada, joined May 2005, 280 posts, RR: 0 Reply 22, posted (4 years 1 month 3 weeks 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 588 times:
Quoting Dtwclipper (Thread starter): My nephew got a card in the mail saying "a contribution has been made in your honor" to a certain charity
Indirectly, a cash gift has been made to your nephew, hasn't it? After all, he'll get a charitable donation tax receipt which he can use on his income tax return in order to obtain a tax credit, right? He'll reduce his taxes owing and that'll be cash in his pocket.
ScarletHarlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4240 posts, RR: 67 Reply 24, posted (4 years 1 month 3 weeks 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 541 times:
Were Nephew New York or Brother New York being an ass about money and presents? Maybe Brother Boston decided to teach them a lesson.
You've never obligated to give a gift at a wedding. If you do, it should come from the heart and all gifts, no matter what or how big or small, should be equally appreciated.
27 Dtwclipper: No, my brother in Boston, who made the donationwill get the deduction. The point is that this is an inappropriate wedding gift...rather nothing at al
28 JAGflyer: My family's ex-friend (long story, do not ask) used to send out invitations TELLING PEOPLE WHAT TO BRING. Ex. she wrote: In terms of presents, somethi
29 Dtwclipper: I thought this might help some of our etiquette challenged posters! "Showering gifts on a newly betrothed couple is a time-honored tradition that seem
30 TedTAce: What's "etiquette"? Signed, 99% of the world
31 Dtwclipper: et·i·quette (ĕt'ĭ-kĕt', -kĭt) n. The practices and forms prescribed by social convention or by authority. [French, from Old Fre
32 TedTAce: You are preaching to the choir on this one... I was trying to be funny.. the 'cue' should have been 'signed'
33 Dtwclipper: I knew that, that was for the Signed folks!
34 ScarletHarlot: Dude, Weddingchannel.com is basically a bridal registry site! Of course they're going to say this! Miss Manners says... http://www.jsonline.com/lifes
35 Dtwclipper: ScarletHarlot; Remind me not to invite you to my wedding. But this is really not the point is it? I think what my brother did was stupid, he's 55 marr
36 ScarletHarlot: Dtwclipper - if I knew you well enough to come to your wedding, damn straight I'd bring you a gift. But don't just invite me, because I won't send a g
38 Fiveholer: It was a donation to the Human Fund wasn't it? Danny
39 QANTASforever: What's the deal with giving crystal? What the hell is to utilitarian about fucking crystal. I hate crystal!! Oh - Fiveholer, you beat me to it! Ah we
40 BAxMAN: This thread has completely solved my dilemma about my mother's b'day present.
41 Thumper3181: There are so many posts of yours that scream "jerk", this one takes the cake.
42 Aviation: Hey there nothing wrong with that ... if you are in the charity yourself I guess... But, that would be a vere very strange note to recieve in the mail
43 S12PPL: Hey, for my graduation from high school, a relative planted a tree in my name in Isreal. I was sorta disapointed. But at the same time, knew it was th
44 QANTASforever: Uh - that's Israel. I never could understand why Americans call Israel Izzreeeil. QFF
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