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Gravity Does Not Exist: God, Is Pushing Them Down  
User currently offlineAirbuzz From Canada, joined Jan 2009, 0 posts, RR: 0
Posted (8 years 11 months 2 weeks 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 1807 times:

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512

"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.

 rotfl  Thanks God I'm not in Kansas...

14 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineLogan22L From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (8 years 11 months 2 weeks 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 1793 times:

"Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."

Well, damnit, I'm convinced.


User currently offlineCfalk From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (8 years 11 months 2 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1790 times:

I hope you do realize that it is a joke, right?

User currently offlineTmatt95 From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2005, 489 posts, RR: 0
Reply 3, posted (8 years 11 months 2 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1787 times:

Hi,
I guess the next time I fly, I will be flying on a wing and a prayer  Big grin. I personally like to think that when God created the world, he created gravity to hold everything onto it. So in my opinion at least, they are both more or less correct. God is behind all this but science, as it is, is also correct.

Matt


User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8707 posts, RR: 42
Reply 4, posted (8 years 11 months 2 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1773 times:

Quoting Cfalk (Reply 2):
I hope you do realize that it is a joke, right?

"theonion.com" kind of gives it away.  Wink Great joke, by the way!



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineAirbuzz From Canada, joined Jan 2009, 0 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (8 years 11 months 2 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1761 times:

Quoting Cfalk (Reply 2):
I hope you do realize that it is a joke, right?

 Big grin


User currently offlineKevinl1011 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 2964 posts, RR: 47
Reply 6, posted (8 years 11 months 2 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1755 times:

How many of you include gravity in your prayers? "Dear God.....thank you for our food, our health, Mommy and Daddy and...." The anchient civilations at least worshiped idols representing the elements and were thankful. I would think that "God" is pretty pissed off about mankind completely ignoring this most important force and taking it totally for granted. I think it's time that we all get down on our knees, right now, and show a little appreciation before "God" pulls the plug on gravity and we all go flying off the face of the earth at 1,100 mph.


474218, Carl, You will be missed.
User currently offlineTedTAce From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (8 years 11 months 2 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1752 times:

Quoting Kevinl1011 (Reply 6):
I think it's time that we all get down on our knees, right now, and show a little appreciation before "God" pulls the plug on gravity and we all go flying off the face of the earth at 1,100 mph.

RIIIGGGGGHHHHTTTTTT


User currently offlineLogan22L From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (8 years 11 months 2 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1742 times:

Quoting Cfalk (Reply 2):
I hope you do realize that it is a joke, right?

Yup.

Quoting Aloges (Reply 4):
"theonion.com" kind of gives it away.

Yup.

Although it does seem like a fairly plausible position for these wackos.


User currently offlineBirdwatching From Germany, joined Sep 2003, 3822 posts, RR: 51
Reply 9, posted (8 years 11 months 2 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1710 times:

Quoting Kevinl1011 (Reply 6):
How many of you include gravity in your prayers?

Well, on this side of the planet we're ok. You OZ and NZ guys and gals should be worried though.



All the things you probably hate about travelling are warm reminders that I'm home
User currently offlineKevinl1011 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 2964 posts, RR: 47
Reply 10, posted (8 years 11 months 2 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1708 times:

For those of you who don't have the time to pray for gravity or wish to reconcile your earthbound soul with "God"......I can help you. For only a mere $25.00, The "KevinL1011 Gravity Reconciliation Crusade" will include your name, or loved one, in our gravity prayer novenas, FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH!

If you act today, I will send you a 50 gallon Jumbo drum of my AMAZING, New and Improved "Gravitational Aircraft Skin Treatment"! GUARANTEED to keep your ship from succumbing to the temptations of the dreaded killer.....GRAVITY!

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474218, Carl, You will be missed.
User currently offlineKevinl1011 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 2964 posts, RR: 47
Reply 11, posted (8 years 11 months 2 weeks 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 1690 times:

Quoting Birdwatching (Reply 9):
Well, on this side of the planet we're ok. You OZ and NZ guys and gals should be worried though.

NICE!



474218, Carl, You will be missed.
User currently offlineSpringbok747 From Australia, joined Nov 2004, 4387 posts, RR: 10
Reply 12, posted (8 years 11 months 2 weeks 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 1659 times:

Quoting Birdwatching (Reply 9):
You OZ and NZ guys and gals should be worried though.

Shit...we're always worried about that! Why do you think we're so crazy....all that blood pooled up in our heads...  biggrin 



אני תומך בישראל
User currently offlineWe're Nuts From United States of America, joined Jun 2000, 5722 posts, RR: 19
Reply 13, posted (8 years 11 months 2 weeks 5 days 7 hours ago) and read 1629 times:

Quoting Cfalk (Reply 2):
I hope you do realize that it is a joke, right?

You make it all the more hilarious, Chuck!  rotfl 



Dear moderators: No.
User currently offlineSearpqx From Netherlands, joined Jun 2000, 4344 posts, RR: 10
Reply 14, posted (8 years 11 months 2 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 1626 times:

Quoting Cfalk (Reply 2):
I hope you do realize that it is a joke, right?

No it's not, Gravity is just a theory. . . .

Signed,
The Discovery Institute



"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity"
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