Sponsor Message:
Non Aviation Forum
My Starred Topics | Profile | New Topic | Forum Index | Help | Search 
Punjab Airways  
User currently offlineBrissie_lions From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (15 years 8 months 2 weeks 5 days 2 hours ago) and read 1550 times:

Just a joke I thought you guys would enjoy

"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain Banta Singh welcoming you to Punjab Airways. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, owing to bad weather and some overtime I had put in at the bakery.

This is flight one-two six flight to New Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the East. And if luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!

Punjab Airways has an excellent record for safety. In fact our safety standards are so high that even the terrorists are afraid to fly with us! It is with pleasure I announce that starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination.

For the ones that don't quite make it, Punjab Airways staff has all the requisite experience for consoling the next-of-kin. Our Stewardess Bubbly will be happy to brief you on our out of court settlement policies.

If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off! To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary tea and biscuits! For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!

We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buff, we will be flying right next to Air India, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.

There is no smoking in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!

Life jacket are positioned under your seats and free bathing costumes are made available to the aunties and swimming shorts to the uncles, for emergency jumps!

In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take off and fasten your belt. For those of you who can't find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a flight attendant for your suitcase.

Sorry, but I won't be flying with you today because I have to attend my nephew's wedding. But please make yourself at home and help yourself to the cockpit. Thank you for choosing Punjab Airways."

1 replies: All unread, jump to last
User currently offlineCapt.Picard From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (15 years 8 months 2 weeks 4 days 22 hours ago) and read 1515 times:

I read it with the voice of that Indian guy in The Simpsons in my head! 

There was a commercial in the UK, a couple of years ago, advertising a brand of poppodom crisps, using a fictional "Punjab Airways".

2 747's (very realistic I might add), proceeded to do a few spins in the air, and there were some short, comical sketches taken inside the plane.

They would always recite "Punjab Airways flies to 1 destination worldwide", accompanied by the "Punjab Airways" ladies' chorus.

Best ad I saw in a long time, and the poppadoms were just the thing for a Sunday night at home.

Top Of Page
Forum Index

This topic is archived and can not be replied to any more.

Printer friendly format

Similar topics:More similar topics...
My Fresh Airways Birthday Cake posted Sun Apr 22 2007 18:52:58 by Dsa
Qatar Airways Manager Shot Dead In Johannesburg posted Mon Jul 24 2006 15:46:35 by JoKeR
What Happened To The US Airways Merger Video? posted Fri Oct 14 2005 05:45:19 by PanAm330
US Airways Crack In The Window! (scary) posted Thu Jul 28 2005 21:42:00 by Tjwgrr
Crack Discovered In US Airways Plane Window posted Thu Jun 9 2005 13:48:40 by TriStar500
Virgin Galatic Airways And Superman! posted Fri Apr 1 2005 16:30:59 by Korg747
British Airways Interview posted Thu Jan 6 2005 22:22:38 by Trekster
US Airways To Order 2500 A311-100 posted Mon Oct 4 2004 05:48:38 by Aloha717200
Shirley Q. Liquor, Ebonics Airways F/A Very Funny posted Fri Aug 27 2004 20:52:07 by Ual747
Former US Airways CEO House For Sale - $12 Million posted Fri Oct 31 2003 08:42:13 by IndustrialPate