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Has Your Life Turned Out The Way You Expected?  
User currently offlineGordonsmall From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2001, 2100 posts, RR: 22
Posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 2302 times:

I'm going to go against my better judgement here and try to have a serious discussion on this forum ........ knowing full well it's a pointless exercise.  Smile

Anyway, I was having a discussion in the pub last night with my mates about the direction our lives have taken. It was one of those philosophical bullshit sessions that we tend to have after a few (too many?) pints, where we normally bitch about how life was better when we were younger and without reponsibilities, but things were different last night on account of the fact that rather than bitching about the past we pondered about our present situation.

Basically we began to debate our happiness in relation to our lives at present and in the near future.

In our younger days, my friends and I, like most teenagers, had grand plans for how life was going to turn out. Just as the old and wise (or sad old gits as they're known here) had told us, things didn't happen the way we thought they would, we've all got to our goals in the end (or at least are still en-route to our goals) but in most cases we've gone about it in a round-the-houses fashion.

We're now all around 22-ish, we've all got great jobs that we enjoy, we've all got nice cars and we've all got nice houses that we actually own. We've all got more disposable income than we can hope to spend in an average month and generally can't think of anything significant (and attainable) that we want in life that we don't already have, save for a few misguided souls who have strange ideas about inflicting themselves with husbands/wives and children.

But last night none of us could honestly say that we were happy with our lives!

Amongst all that nice stuff I've already mentioned there were gaping holes in our lives that we can't fill. When we were 16 our social group filled the bar of our local pub, a few years later and a combination of car crashes, motorcycle accidents, drugs, drownings and murders has reduced us to the stage where we can barely scrape together enough of our 'school friends' to fill a corner table.

Many of us have lost parents/brothers/sisters and even partners in similar ways. But the vast majority of our woes stemmed from the fact that whilst we were happy with the main components of our lives, on the whole things just weren't as good as we thought they were going to be.

So, has your life turned out as expected? If so is it as good as you thought it was going to be?

Opinions invited from young and old, be they members of the a.net sad old gits club or not .....  Smile

Regards,
Gordon.


Statistically, people who have had the most birthdays tend to live the longest.
33 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineGkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24899 posts, RR: 56
Reply 1, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 2295 times:

Quoting Gordonsmall (Thread starter):
'm going to go against my better judgement here and try to have a serious discussion on this forum ........ knowing full well it's a pointless exercise. Smile




When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineGordonsmall From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2001, 2100 posts, RR: 22
Reply 2, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 2289 times:

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 1):

Once again, the great thread hijacker of cyberspace manages to get me shouting profanity at the screen .....................  Silly



Statistically, people who have had the most birthdays tend to live the longest.
User currently offlineGkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24899 posts, RR: 56
Reply 3, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 2283 times:

Quoting Gordonsmall (Reply 2):
Once again, the great thread hijacker of cyberspace manages to get me shouting profanity at the screen ..................... Silly

Aye, just sitting here bored with a beer  Wink



When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineUTA_flyinghigh From Tunisia, joined Oct 2001, 6495 posts, RR: 51
Reply 4, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 2280 times:

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 3):
Aye, just sitting here bored with a beer

So what else is new.

UTA  checkeredflag 



Fly to live, live to fly - Air France/KLM Flying Blue Platinum, BMI Diamond Club Gold, Emirates Skywards
User currently offlineGordonsmall From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2001, 2100 posts, RR: 22
Reply 5, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 2278 times:

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 3):
Aye, just sitting here bored with a beer

You could always get a job kirkie .......... I hear pimps are in short supply in Dumfries these days. It has certain perks, and you could argue that you wouldn't have to declare your income to the tax-man on the basis that you'd be incriminating yourself!  Smile



Statistically, people who have had the most birthdays tend to live the longest.
User currently offlineJap From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 2284 times:

I AM happy with my life. Although not completely happy.

My life has not developed the way I wanted it to at all. Due to severe bullying throughout my school and kindergarten life, I came down with a depression which sent me in hospital for a year and has totally ruined everything for me- I may not ever be able to work full time, get an education or anything else. But I'll certainly be battling for it (I would never be able to forgive myself if anyone ever had to support me like that).

But I'm more than happy at the moment. Despite the fact that everything hasn't turned out the way I wanted it to, I guess I can't really complain- I don't want to either.

I have the most wonderful boyfriend on Earth, I'm surrounded by my family most of the time, and I have so many beloved animals I take care of. I love my life and I don't want to switch with anyone ever- I've learned so much  Smile


User currently offlineAndz From South Africa, joined Feb 2004, 8440 posts, RR: 10
Reply 7, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 2267 times:
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Quoting Gordonsmall (Reply 5):
I hear pimps are in short supply in Dumfries these days

Hey! Why pick on my home town???



After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF...
User currently offlineGordonsmall From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2001, 2100 posts, RR: 22
Reply 8, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 2261 times:

Quoting Andz (Reply 7):
Hey! Why pick on my home town???

Simple, it's very close to where I live and it's very very close to where GKirk lives. Also, I happen to know that there IS a shortage of pimps in Dumfries right now since the two biggest ones got banged up last week for 3 years each.

Hence, I suggest it to Kirkie that he takes up a short-term career as a pimp, in the town of Dumfries, on account of the fact that positions are available and it is a short communte for GKirk with good income prospects.  Smile



Statistically, people who have had the most birthdays tend to live the longest.
User currently offlineSkidmarks From UK - England, joined Dec 2004, 7121 posts, RR: 55
Reply 9, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 2255 times:

Gordon,

At 22-ish, you havent yet had a life. So, forget about wondering if it's going as you want, get on and bloody enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shit happens (bit like Gkirk) and sods law plays a major part in most normal people's lives and they rarely go in any guided direction. Remember, there is always some miserable bastard waiting to screw you up somewhere along the line!! Big grin

Ask the question in 30 years and THEN have a discussion about it Big grin

Andy  old  fart Big grin



Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
User currently offlineGordonsmall From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2001, 2100 posts, RR: 22
Reply 10, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 2247 times:

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 9):

Andy,

Point taken, but the main thrust of my post was that I, like my friends, have now achieved what I set out to achieve when I left school, but haven't found it to be as satisfying as I imagined.

I've got everything I want in life with the exception of a pilots job which I am still in the process of getting, but I'm not happy with it. I seem to want more, but can't figure out what exactly it is that I want.

I'm sure there must be others in the same boat.



Statistically, people who have had the most birthdays tend to live the longest.
User currently offlineAsstChiefMark From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 2241 times:

Not at all. It's a living nightmare. I'm starting to believe that this IS Hell and we don't remember what life on Earth was like. If it weren't for my strong belief that killing yourself gets you a first class one-way ticket to Hell, I would have offed myself months ago.

It's Monday. What will go wrong this week? I'm guessing I'll be named in a wrongful death lawsuit. Either that or my parents will take a wrong turn in front of a Greyhound bus.

Mark


User currently offlineGkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24899 posts, RR: 56
Reply 12, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 2239 times:

Poor Andy, so  old  he makes death look young  Wink


When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineHalls120 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 2218 times:

Quoting Gordonsmall (Thread starter):
So, has your life turned out as expected? If so is it as good as you thought it was going to be?

1. No, because when I was 17, I had no grand plans in mind as to what I wanted to do/achieve/experience in life. I've never made plans for where I need to be 5/10/20 years down the road. I pretty much have just gone along with the flow.

2. It's actually turned out much, much better than I anticipated. My "things I need to do before I die" list (not created until I was mid forties) is actually quite small.


User currently offlineHAJFlyer From Switzerland, joined Sep 2005, 1473 posts, RR: 9
Reply 14, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 19 hours ago) and read 2210 times:

Quoting Gordonsmall (Thread starter):
So, has your life turned out as expected? If so is it as good as you thought it was going to be?



Quoting Halls120 (Reply 13):
I pretty much have just gone along with the flow.

I could not agree more. For me things usually went wrong when I defined my goals too narrowly thereby excluding many valuable options.

I think you need be sure about some basics such as: Do you want to pursue a career at all cost or is a good work-life balance more important to you, etc...

Do the things that you like to do because they are usually the ones that you are pretty good at as well. Life is too short to spend 8-12 hours per day in job that you hate.

Be aware of you strengths and weaknesses and chose options that allow you to capitalize on those strength and expand them.

Be patient, often its takes more time than you expected for things to fall into place.

Just my  twocents 


User currently offlineRojo From Spain, joined Sep 2000, 2442 posts, RR: 9
Reply 15, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 19 hours ago) and read 2198 times:

Quoting Gordonsmall (Reply 10):
I seem to want more, but can't figure out what exactly it is that I want.

You hit the bull's eye here...

Most of my friends started college with great work expectations created by the society and the people they hang with. Therefore, they ended up looking for a career that could take them to a glamorous job at a Fortune 100 company without thinking what they really enjoy doing. Since landing a good job at a Fortune 100 company is not an easy task, people who achieve it at a young age, start wondering if there are other things they could do, because their real passion in life is not inside a building spending long ours in an office. I keep hearing them say: how bad could work be if you have to get paid for it!

I don't know about you, but in my case, I never expected to end up at a Fortune 100 company, since my real passion has always been to work for an airline in a set of positions I came out with while studying the operations of multiple carriers. I worked hard to get the credentials needed to land a job at an airline, but my studies ended up being good to work at a bank. My advice to you is to figure out what else you want to do in life (what do you have a passion for) and start adjusting your career to achieve it (create short, medium and long term goals and adjust them as time passes). I have been doing so and it has worked so far.

Anyway, good luck and remeber that it is better to get paid for doing your hobby than for doing a job!


User currently offlineEGGD From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2001, 12443 posts, RR: 35
Reply 16, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 19 hours ago) and read 2191 times:

Well, not really. I never really expected anything, as far as I was concerned 'future' was something intangible and I was never really connected to it. I just went on living through my teens without any real direction, just doing what everyone else was doing. Although there was a little bit of direction considering I wanted to be a pilot and so the things that I did were with that in mind. I honestly wouldn't have expected that by 19 I would be at University not only working towards a degree but whilst building towards my frozen ATPL as well.

I definitely would never have imagined myself at such a rubbish university!  Wink. On the whole though, i'm working towards what i've always wanted to achieve and at the moment i'm definitely on track. Just give me a couple of years and then i'll report back!


User currently offlineAeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 20322 posts, RR: 63
Reply 17, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 19 hours ago) and read 2190 times:

Turned out the way I expected? Oh dear god no. Has most of what I aspired to come my way? That would be closer to the mark, but even that has changed over time, in terms of what I've pursued. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that people will attempt to make things work for what they feel is worth aspiring to one way or the other, and either make compromises or find a way around road blocks to it.

Stay flexible, adapt, and look at life as an adventure. That'll give you the leeway to make the changes you will have to make as forces outside your control clash with your own grand scheme of things. Life will toss a wrench into the works every now and then, and you can decide to move on the best you can. If you do that, you can look back on your life and say no regrets. I wish someone had clued me in on how this all worked earlier, instead of having to learn it trial-by-fire in some cases.



International Homo of Mystery
User currently offlineANCFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 18, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 19 hours ago) and read 2186 times:

I don't think anyone can definitively say what they want their life to be with any sense of reality when they're still in high school . . . . most of the goals I set for myself early on in life I've met or exceeded. Life isn't a destination, rather a journey and the scenery always changes.

Thus far however, I've managed to work in the two fields that always interested me . . . military and law enforcement. As I've reached each goal I make new ones. Current goals are to retire again by the time I reach age 55, that's when my daughter will be done with college (should she decide to go) and I can finally relax. Work for fun if I desire, but not to pay tuition . . . and see some parts of this country that I haven't as yet . . . we'll see how that goes.

Pretty much satisfied with things. Knowing one cannot change the past eliminates the need to dwell on the past but sharpens the senses when regarding the future.


User currently offlineAGC525 From United States of America, joined Sep 2004, 989 posts, RR: 0
Reply 19, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 19 hours ago) and read 2183 times:

Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 11):
Not at all. It's a living nightmare. I'm starting to believe that this IS Hell and we don't remember what life on Earth was like. If it weren't for my strong belief that killing yourself gets you a first class one-way ticket to Hell, I would have offed myself months ago.

It's Monday. What will go wrong this week? I'm guessing I'll be named in a wrongful death lawsuit. Either that or my parents will take a wrong turn in front of a Greyhound bus.

Mark

Mark, I can't help but to sympathize with your outlook. Good 'ol plublic safety...



American Aviation: From Kitty Hawk to the Moon in 66 years!
User currently offlineYooYoo From Canada, joined Nov 2003, 6057 posts, RR: 51
Reply 20, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 2170 times:

I wanted to be an airline pilot....not gonna happen

I wanted to be a chef.....could still happen, but unlikely

I wanted to be ATC.....not gonna happen because NAVCAN didn't like that i passed the test on the first time. Some dickheads received slightly higher marks but only after thier 2nd and 3rd time taking it.(ya i'm bitter)

But, am i happy, oh ya !! Life has been very good to me thus far.

I expected to be happy.  rotfl  <---- see....being happy

Andreas   

[Edited 2005-10-17 19:15:00]


I am so smart, i am so smart... S-M-R-T... i mean S-M-A-R-T
User currently offlineScarletHarlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4673 posts, RR: 56
Reply 21, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 2163 times:

Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 11):
Not at all. It's a living nightmare.

Damn Mark, I'm sorry to hear that things are so awful for you.

My life has not turned out at all like I thought it would, but you know what, that's part of the fun...seeing what life will bring next.

I was never supposed to live in the US. I used to insist that I would NEVER live here! And now I've been here for ten years.

I was supposed to be a high-powered executive at some insurance company but I'm nowhere near that...and I've realized that I don't really want that anyway. I would have had no work/life balance at all.

I certainly was never supposed to be married at 23 to a Portuguese-Canadian man! I had 27 in mind as my marrying age and I expected I'd get married to some tall British guy and live in London.

I also never expected to get neck-deep into curling. I have never been an athlete but I am considered a good curler and people respect me for that and my work at the club. This was a real surprise.

I love surprises, so I have fun with these curve balls that life throws at me. They haven't all been good - I did expect to still have my dad around, for example - but that's life and overall it is good.

My plans now are to move up to Vancouver in the next few years and possibly add a kid to our lives. We'll see how that works out!



But that was when I ruled the world
User currently offlineDuke From Canada, joined Sep 1999, 1155 posts, RR: 2
Reply 22, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 17 hours ago) and read 2147 times:

In a word, no. I am single at 26 and have moved permanently from Toronto to Prague. What have you.

User currently offlineBigOrange From United States of America, joined Apr 2004, 2364 posts, RR: 3
Reply 23, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 16 hours ago) and read 2125 times:

I'm quite happy with the way my life has turned out.

Never expected to be living in the US with my own house, car and pool, even though my dream since my first visit here in 1979 was to someday move here!
Always expected to be living in an apartment/townhouse though.

Financially, life keeps dealing me blows but I still have enough spare for vacations, so life isn't all that bad.

The only thing that's not worked out is where I am living. Since 1989 I had wanted to live in Virginia, but the wife over-ruled me, so I am stuck in New Jersey.


User currently offlineBezoar From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 807 posts, RR: 8
Reply 24, posted (8 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 2104 times:

I think this is one of the more important topics that anyone has ever brought up in this forum, as I believe that it applies to all of us. I thank Gordonsmall for a truly great topic.

For many years I tried to measure my life by material things, and though I had moments of pleasure, the happiness was always fleeting, and more accurately defined as pleasure.

Do you remember as a child that there was a toy that you just had to have? You thought that you would be happy if you could ever have it. Perhaps you might have even thrown a fit until it was in your hands. Where was that toy a week later? Under a bush outside, or under the bed forgotten? Replaced by some other toy? Do you even remember what happened to it?

Teenagers might need Abercrombie & Fitch or Nike Airs to make them happy. Later it might be a certain car, a trophy spouse, sexual conquests, a powerful job, a fat bank account, the perfect house, a big diamond, celebrity status, etc. Once something material is obtained, the value immediately begins to erode. Those who seem to Ôhave it madeÕ are no happier than those who have little. They may actually be less happy.

Money, possessions, power, and fame all provide a narcotic effect, but one that wears off rather quickly. We assume we need more in order to get greater pleasure. You chase the gold ring, but once in hand it seems like a cheap trinket. You start looking for a bigger gold ring somewhere, thinking the happiness it brings should be greater.

Maybe we believed they would impress others because we were had been impressed with them; that the value we placed on them would be imparted to us.

However, material things are ultimately void of any lasting value. They can all be swept away in a moment, as many of the folks along the coast recently experienced. Things of this world are impermanent, and just cannot provide permanent fulfillment.

Yet I think we always want a fulfillment that is permanent. We want something that will remain if all is swept away - something we can cling to when we are breathing our last breath.

For me it was my Christian faith - a relationship with God. No one can take this away from me, not even those who wish to deny God's presence. I did not find this faith until I was 43 yrs old, but feel quite fortunate to have found it at all.

Christian teachings hold that we are separated from God, but that He wants to have a personal relationship with each of us. Furthermore, all men are able to sense this gap, though we struggle with properly identifying what is going on. This hole in our life is meant for God, and absolutely nothing else will suffice.

Since faith became such an important part of my life, the material things are of much less importance, and I no longer measure my life by them. The important things are the personal relationships I have Ð with God first, my family and friends second, but also to all others with whom I come in contact.

It is a fantastic faith of opposites. The more I submit to God, the stronger I become. I give more away, the richer I feel. The less my life is about me, the fuller I am. The less I try to control my life, the straighter my life becomes.

IÕm not a pilot, but a friend who is tells of a time he was flying in gusty conditions, trying to correct for every dip of the wing and nose. He was fighting as hard he could to keep from losing control of the plane, and was getting hammered in the process. He couldnÕt keep the plane steady, and didnÕt know what else to do. His uncle, a veteran pilot who was in the right seat, suggested that he remove his hands from the yoke.

This would have been the very last thing on earth my friend would have done on his own accord. Yet when he let go, the plane stopped bouncing around and the ride actually became smooth. By doing less he accomplished more than he had tried to do on his own.

It was a very important lesson.

I know some will want flame me for evangelizing here, but this is what it is all about, folks.



"There are none so blind as those who will not see."
25 Redngold : Life has not turned out the way that I expected, yet I still feel satisfied in a way, because I know that there's more to come. We are so tied to our
26 TNboy : I don't think I can even remember being 22! I'm sure I was having fun, but knowing there was more to life than I was experiencing. Gordonsmall, you se
27 Searpqx : Depends on when in my life you asked me what I expected. In my school years I was devoted to getting into the Air Force Academy, and I would've told y
28 MattCLE : I graduate from college in May with a BA in Political Science and German. I never thought when I was in High School or even early on in college that I
29 NWOrientDC10 : Has my life turned out the way I expected? No Am I un-happy? No. Russell
30 HAWK21M : It has been a struggle to achieve my Goal.I plan it well,but the road is never as smooth as I Imagine.A lot of surprises,disapointments & sadness alon
31 ZKSUJ : I don't think any one has a life that they planned, these thing don't happen. And besides, no matter what you have, people tend to always want more. I
32 Willo : I know in my case, and this is probably true for others, a lot of the things that have influenced my life have been beyond my control. For instance,
33 767Lover : Great topic. I am a female in my late 30s, and my life has definitely turned out differently than I expected. I had always wanted/assumed I'd be a mot
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