CcrlR From United States of America, joined Aug 2001, 2314 posts, RR: 0 Posted (10 years 3 months 3 weeks 20 hours ago) and read 3688 times:
I have some unfortunate news for some of the ones I know on here my mother has passed away. Sorry for waiting until now because I was making arrangements.
My mother died about three days ago (October 19th) and it was very painful for me since I was very close to her. She was sick with Lymphoma and at first, she was doing good when she was admitted for a swollen left leg(that's when the doctors told me it was lymphoma) but things took a turn for the worse and she was in the Intensive Care Unit when she got really sick. When they gave her the chemotherapy(sorry about the spelling) she was having breathing problems and the doctors put her in sedation so the stuff could work but her blood pressure was dropping and her breathing got worse. So when I got a chance to talk to the doctors, that's when they told me that she had a slim chance of surviving and I had to prepare for the worse but she is not suffering anymore now.
So for the past week and a half, I was keeping in touch with the doctors and my other family members letting them know how she was doing but now I have been making arrangements with my aunt and other relatives for the funeral and burial. It's going to be a very tough time but she wanted me to still go on and finish college. So, I just wanted to let you all know and I was wondering if this has happened to anyone and how did they deal with it?
I know the next couple of months will be a little rough but I still have the memories of being with her and how she liked my hobby and fascination with airplanes. In conclusion I just wanted to let you know if you have any stories about experiencing a death of a loved one, and the grieving afterwards then just post them here.
"He was right, it is a screaming metal deathtrap!"-Cosmo (from the Fairly Oddparents)
AA777 From United States of America, joined May 1999, 2560 posts, RR: 25
Reply 8, posted (10 years 3 months 3 weeks 19 hours ago) and read 3617 times:
I am so sorry to hear of this. I wish you the best of luck during this difficult time. But I believe that she is there, watching over you, and that if you keep your heart and mind open, you will be able to feel her presence... my sincerest condolences to you and your family.
Kevinl1011 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 2964 posts, RR: 39
Reply 9, posted (10 years 3 months 3 weeks 19 hours ago) and read 3609 times:
The last thing any parent wants, especially a mother, is their child to be sad or unhappy. Your mother would be distressed to see you so unhappy. Think of the things she has done that make you smile. Think of how she is a part of you and the others around you. You are a living testament of her life and she lives on through you. What you accomplish in your life is her reward for raising a good son. Make her proud, be strong.
Celebrate her life. Be thankful for her. She lives in you for the rest of your life.
She must have been special as she has touched someone who never knew her.
My thoughts are with you Carl.
TNboy From Australia, joined Mar 2002, 1131 posts, RR: 18
Reply 10, posted (10 years 3 months 3 weeks 18 hours ago) and read 3601 times:
Your mother must be very proud of the way you have handled things.
Grieving is very personal, and affects people differently. Sometimes we feel guilty because we really dont feel as heartbroken as we think we should. Usually this is for a couple of reasons - one because we have so many things that we have to do, that it keeps us occupied; two, because our defence systems kick in to protect us and shield us emotionally. Sometimes we unconsciously push back our grief until we think we are better able to handle it. But if you don't feel that you have grieved properly yet - this is quite normal. You will come to terms with everything in your own time.
And we don't HAVE to feel sad. We can feel a great loss and loneliness, and yet still have the most wonderful memories; and know that we have work to do, so that we know they will be proud of us.
Whatever you are feeling - it is what is right for you now. Don't fight your emotions, just take things as they come.
My condolences to you and your family in your loss; but please remember to celebrate a wonderful life.
ScarletHarlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4673 posts, RR: 54
Reply 11, posted (10 years 3 months 3 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 3583 times:
I am so sorry to hear your sad news. I lost my dad to cancer nearly ten years ago now. It was very hard. My heart aches for you.
Know that it will get easier to bear, and part of her will always be with you. Also, if you have any strange dreams about her, they will eventually resolve...and maybe even with a peaceful message for you. That is what happened after my dad died, and has also happened to several of my friends when their loved ones died.
GOCAPS16 From Japan, joined Jan 2000, 4409 posts, RR: 17
Reply 12, posted (10 years 3 months 3 weeks 15 hours ago) and read 3568 times:
I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I remember seeing her when Jonathan and I came to Chicago a few years ago. I know it's very tough to lose someone that you really loved and that has been taken care of you all your life. My father has brain cancer and is currently going on chemo again with a stronger dosage then before, so it's going to be hard for him when I'm away at work since he lives by himself. I know how the pain can be. I'll pray for you, man.
DL021 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 11454 posts, RR: 72
Reply 14, posted (10 years 3 months 3 weeks 10 hours ago) and read 3515 times:
I don't know you but I can imagine your pain. Please accept my condolences and consolation. No one can really say anything that will take away the grief, but sometimes a little empathy can make it easier to bear.
I lost my father 15 years ago, and it was too soon as he was only 59. While the pain is still there, I temper it with memories of the things that made our relationship great. I feel incredibly lucky to have had such a father, and with that feeling he stays with me in my heart and soul.
April mentioned that you may have some dreams about your mother.....I had them about my father and so did some of my siblings. I think it was him making it easier for me to accept his loss......whether it was the influence on my subconscious he had from a lifetime of exposure working on my mind or his actual spirit spending a little more time...it helped. Let your memories and feelings help you through this.
Lean on your friends and family, and remember the good things as much as possible as we move into the holidays where it's going to be a little tough. It seems that you have some friends here who'll be ready to listen....
Aleksandar From Serbia, joined Jul 2000, 3241 posts, RR: 30
Reply 20, posted (10 years 3 months 2 weeks 5 days 20 hours ago) and read 3354 times:
I'm so sorry to hear that. My condolenses to you and your family.
After so many replies, there isn't much smart I could add. No matter how hard it is (and it hurts badly, I know), you must go on. It will take time for you to accept such a loss, especially because you're so young, but I hope your family and friends will be there for you. Also, there is this place and a bunch of airliner freaks, like myself, that will always be glad to do everything they can to make you feel better. If there's anything any of us can do for you, just say it. After so many hours every one of us spends here, we should also help a fellow A.netter.
I'm really sorry for your loss. May God bless the soul of your mother.
Aleksandar From Serbia, joined Jul 2000, 3241 posts, RR: 30
Reply 21, posted (10 years 3 months 2 weeks 5 days 19 hours ago) and read 3351 times:
Quoting CcrlR (Thread starter): It's going to be a very tough time but she wanted me to still go on and finish college
Then you must keep on with your college andput all your energy into it. Make your mother really proud of you. Don't let anyone and anything to stand on your path to graduation. It will be hard now, but it is something you owe both to your mother and to yourself.
Texan From New Zealand, joined Dec 2003, 4319 posts, RR: 51
Reply 23, posted (10 years 3 months 2 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 3308 times:
Thoughts and prayers are with you. The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society has a great outreach program and lots of wonderful people who have experienced the same thing. I hope you are doing as well as possible. Keep your head up and hang in tough there.
"I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library."
Pope From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 24, posted (10 years 3 months 2 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 3303 times:
I lost my father to multiple myeloma several years ago. All I can say is that there is no right way to cope with such a loss. I have two siblings and each of us had to deal with this in our own way. For me, I drew strength from my religious faith. It's one thing to go to mass every week and sit in a pew, it's another to really believe in life after death.
I'd never been a big reader of the bible, but I drew tremendous strength from certain passages. For the first time in my life they seemed to really have meaning to me.
But I know that religion isn't the answer for everyone. The one thing that does seem universal is that you have to let yourself experience the pain. Don't ignore it. Don't wish it away. If you do, it only hides beneath the surface.
Rely on your friends and family. You'll be amazed at how many people really want to help if you just let them.
: Carl- My sympathies to you and your family. May you find some comfort and may God bless you through your struggle. I am coming to grips with the fact
26 ME AVN FAN
: - First of all my condolences for the so early loss you suffered. - Reminds me of my brother, who survived testicular cancer and spinal cancer, but 7
: I am sorry for your loss. I feel real bad, may she rest in peace. PIA777
: my condolences to you and all your family time heals the pain but there just is never enough to fully lose the pain
: May she rest in peace and may you and your family find the strength to get by during this diffucult time.
: Thanks a lot for posting and your your good words. I checked out the website from texan and I am going to be ok but just as I said it will be a painfu