Tbar220 From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 7011 posts, RR: 27 Posted (12 years 3 months 1 week 6 days 17 hours ago) and read 788 times:
I'll start off with a simple question, and if I get any responses, I'll continue from there.
I want to be in a relationship with this girl, but we live apart. She's in NY, and I'm in IL. I've heard negative things about long distance relationships, but the more I think about it positively, and the more I read good things about them and how you can work it out, the more I want to be in a relationship with her. I'm not saying I want it to be long distance, but that is my only option.
My question is what can I do to make it work, and how do I tell her that that is what I want? Thanks.
174thfwff From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 1, posted (12 years 3 months 1 week 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 758 times:
Why? Because you will want to hold her, touch her, not just talk to eachother every day. Then it will grow to every other day. Then she will be cheating on you, and you will be cheating on her.
only my opinion
Iainhol From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 2, posted (12 years 3 months 1 week 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 743 times:
Being in a long distance relation is very hard work, as you are not able to be around each and grow together as easily. Your best bet is just to keep in touch with her, and become good friends until you live closer together.
PS I hope this is not a girl you meet online!
Tbar220 From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 7011 posts, RR: 27 Reply 4, posted (12 years 3 months 1 week 6 days 14 hours ago) and read 736 times:
Why do I think it might work?
We've been best friends since we were twelve, and just this summer we've admitted to one other how we feel about eachother. She moved away two years ago, and we kind of lost contact. I wrote her a letter last year, and that was the best thing I ever did. We write to eachother, email, so I think it could work.
I know it will be hard, its hard enough for me now not to see her. I've only seen her for a week in the last year, and that was really great, but now I want to see her again. But I'm willing to take the "challenge". I would never in my right mind cheat on her, because she is something special to me that I wouldn't think of throwing away.
Also, from what I think, she's not the cheating type. I don't know how to justify that or back it up, but it is a gut instinct. I'm willing to take that risk.
Iainhol From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 5, posted (12 years 3 months 1 week 6 days 14 hours ago) and read 734 times:
>>But I'm willing to take the "challenge"<<
If it does not work then you have lost her, is that a risk you are willing to take. Are you willing to take that risk when the relationship you have now will not change if you guys go out. You will not be able to kiss her, hold he when you/she is sad, go to the movies and make eachother happy! Anjd what happends when another girl does come along (sure as eggs are eggs they will) how will be to justify not going out with this new girl because you have a girlfriend that you never see, or share a reasonable amount of time together.
I would just keep friends and when it is feasible (i.e. you live close to each other) go out.
Tbar220 From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 7011 posts, RR: 27 Reply 6, posted (12 years 3 months 1 week 6 days 14 hours ago) and read 726 times:
I'm probably going to be labeled the biggest dork for saying this, but here goes....
I know I can resist "another girl that comes along" because I have never had a girlfriend before. Why? Because I'm waiting patiently to be with this girl I'm telling you about. She is something special, she makes me feel like a million. It may sound dumb that I've held out that long for her, but that's how much she means to me. Everytime I see another girl that I think I like, I think of my friend, and she is so much better than them. It happens every time. And to tell you the truth, I don't feel like I'm missing out on life because I didn't have a g/f.
I think I really can do it. I take back my comment on it being a challenge, because to me, I feel so strongly for her that it isn't a challenge for me to devote all my attention to her. I would do it whether she were here or whether she is somewhere else. I already write letters to her and email her all the time (can't do phone, parents wont pay for long distance, and I can't afford it).
So I think I can do it. That's where my post comes in, is anybody in a long distance relationship, and do they have any advice they could give me? And also, how do I tell her that that's what I want?
Iainhol From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 7, posted (12 years 3 months 1 week 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 720 times:
I think you want support not advice/opinions. I think you should just hold off, as if she is something so special, you will end up together, but don't rush into it and ruin it so early.
Also by a phone card at 7-11 then you can call her for really cheap!
SophieMaltese From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 2064 posts, RR: 3 Reply 10, posted (12 years 3 months 1 week 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 713 times:
Long distance relationships can work but they are much harder. One of my best friends dated her current husband long distance for a while in college. I guess it all depends on how much you two really love each other and want to be together....