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British Citizenship - Take The (un)official Test!  
User currently onlineGordonsmall From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2001, 2101 posts, RR: 21
Posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 16 hours ago) and read 1864 times:

Found this on the BBC news site whilst bored at work.

Apparently these questions are based on the offical "textbook" for the "british-ness" test which you now have to sit if you want to become a british citizen.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4099770.stm


Statistically, people who have had the most birthdays tend to live the longest.
49 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently onlineGordonsmall From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2001, 2101 posts, RR: 21
Reply 1, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 16 hours ago) and read 1853 times:

The funniest thing I've read in ages has to be this question.  Smile

Life in the UK explains what to do if you spill someone's pint in the pub (we're not making this up). What, according to the book, usually happens next?

A: You would offer to buy the person another pint
B: You would offer to dry their wet shirt with your own
C: You may need to prepare for a fight in the car park



Statistically, people who have had the most birthdays tend to live the longest.
User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 2, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 16 hours ago) and read 1851 times:

I do believe we had this one a while back.


She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineBA380 From United Kingdom, joined May 2004, 1466 posts, RR: 8
Reply 3, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1829 times:

forunately, I scored eleven, so I will not have to be deported (to where?) this afternoon...


cabin crew: doors to automatic and cross-check...
User currently offlineThorben From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1829 times:

Well, I got 9 out of 15 right. You should be glad that I'm CCTV-allergic, otherwise I might come over.

User currently offlineMyt332 From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2003, 9112 posts, RR: 70
Reply 5, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1820 times:

Quoting Thorben (Reply 4):
You should be glad that I'm CCTV-allergic, otherwise I might come over.

CCTV? Hmm is that what we're calling the English Channel today.

 white 



One Life, Live it.
User currently offlineJwenting From Netherlands, joined Apr 2001, 10213 posts, RR: 18
Reply 6, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1812 times:

Quoting Gordonsmall (Reply 1):
A: You would offer to buy the person another pint
B: You would offer to dry their wet shirt with your own
C: You may need to prepare for a fight in the car park

All of the above?



I wish I were flying
User currently offlineGkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24925 posts, RR: 56
Reply 7, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1810 times:

Block up the channel tunnel and refuse permission for any foreigners to move here.
Enough of the bloody foreign gits as there is...



When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineMyt332 From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2003, 9112 posts, RR: 70
Reply 8, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1803 times:

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 7):
Enough of the bloody foreign gits as there is...

I say reinstate Hadrian's Wall. It can be sponsored by Alitalia.



One Life, Live it.
User currently offlineNoUFO From Germany, joined Apr 2001, 7951 posts, RR: 12
Reply 9, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1794 times:

But, but Kirkie ... there are so many continentals who like to enjoy Scotland ... "England's beautiful north"Big grin


I support the right to arm bears
User currently offlineJafa39 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 1782 times:

I got 11, let's hope I can do as well in my NZ citizenship test next year.

1: What beer do "Southern Men" drink?

2: Where was the pie sandwich invented?

3: Helen Clark is...............................

4: "Kia Ora" means:
a "Who you lookin' at?
b G'day
c My hovercraft is full of eels

5: When asked for a "Computer Disc" how do you know whether to give the person an item of furniture or a CD Rom?

6: "The All Blacks" are a Reggae Band, True or False?

7: Ford or Holden?

8: The controversial tackle on O'Driscoll during the Lions Tour was:
a No biggie, get over it
b A filthy disgusting show of bad Rugby
c Tough on the Poms for only having 2 decent players

9: Salmonella Dub is:
a A disease caused by eating Wendy Burgers
b A Reggae Dub combo
c The method used to add the soundtrack to LOR films

10: How many Kiwi's live in Earl's Court in London?
a Too many
b As many as there are jobs in pubs
c 5,009

You only need to get Q8 right to get a Kiwi Passport.


User currently offlineQANTASforever From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 1771 times:

5 for me.

Quoting Jafa39 (Reply 10):
I got 11

aha!

QFF


User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 12, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 1761 times:

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 7):
Block up the channel tunnel and refuse permission for any foreigners to move here

Would such a policy, instituted over millennia, not mean that the population of the UK would be precisely zero? Big grin

Of course, that would have given the French a 50/50 chance of a successful invasion.  Wink



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineMyt332 From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2003, 9112 posts, RR: 70
Reply 13, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 1758 times:

Quoting Banco (Reply 12):
Would such a policy, instituted over millennia, not mean that the population of the UK would be precisely zero?

Nah we'd still sadly have the neanderthals from the last Ice age who moved over before the ice melted and created the channel.

Thus, we'd still have GKirk.



One Life, Live it.
User currently offlineBigOrange From United States of America, joined Apr 2004, 2364 posts, RR: 3
Reply 14, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 11 hours ago) and read 1716 times:

I got 10 right.

Try the US one..http://uscis.gov/graphics/exec/natz/natztest.asp

exactly the reason for me waiting a while before I claim naturalization.


User currently offlinePilot kaz From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 15, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 11 hours ago) and read 1706 times:

You got 7 right!

0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals....
6-10: Seat on the district council......
11-13: Seat in Parliament.....
14: Seat on the throne

 Wow! everyone knows I belong on the throne!  Wink


User currently offlinePe@rson From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2001, 19204 posts, RR: 52
Reply 16, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 11 hours ago) and read 1698 times:

I got 11 right. I am quite surprised about that. I am now Lord Pearson, what with a seat in parliament.


"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
User currently offlineTheSorcerer From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2005, 1048 posts, RR: 0
Reply 17, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 1678 times:

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 7):
Block up the channel tunnel and refuse permission for any foreigners to move here.

Ever heard of something called a plane?

Quoting NoUFO (Reply 9):
Scotland ... "England's beautiful north

LOL that really is the wrong thing to say to a Scottish person. Big grin

The Sorcerer



ALITALIA,All Landings In Torino, All Luggage In Athens ;)
User currently offlineHalls120 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 18, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1661 times:

I only got 7 right. Sad

On the other hand, I did get the pub question right!!!


User currently offlineJwenting From Netherlands, joined Apr 2001, 10213 posts, RR: 18
Reply 19, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1655 times:

Quoting Banco (Reply 12):
Would such a policy, instituted over millennia, not mean that the population of the UK would be precisely zero?

Of course, that would have given the French a 50/50 chance of a successful invasion.

Even a population of zero in the opposing country would not give the French any chance of a military victory against it.
They'd probably surrender to a wild boar or be slaughtered by a nest of rabbits  Smile



I wish I were flying
User currently offlineJwenting From Netherlands, joined Apr 2001, 10213 posts, RR: 18
Reply 20, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1649 times:

Got 7 right, but I guess I was too cynical in answering the questions, using answers I knew to be fact rather than ones that book would have liked to see  Smile


I wish I were flying
User currently offlineGkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24925 posts, RR: 56
Reply 21, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1650 times:

Quoting Jwenting (Reply 19):

Even a population of zero in the opposing country would not give the French any chance of a military victory against it.
They'd probably surrender to a wild boar or be slaughtered by a nest of rabbits Smile

I can see it now:

Breaking News: France surrenders to army of Squirrels!


 rotfl 



When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineLogan22L From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 22, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1641 times:

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 21):
I can see it now:

Breaking News: France surrenders to army of Squirrels!

And on the classifieds page: For Sale - French military rifles. Good condition, only dropped once.


User currently offlineME AVN FAN From Switzerland, joined May 2002, 13920 posts, RR: 25
Reply 23, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1636 times:

Quoting Gordonsmall (Thread starter):
these questions are based on the offical "textbook

You got 5 right!
0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne


User currently offlineLentigomaligna From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 24, posted (8 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1629 times:

9 right, most by complete guessing; guess that's decent for being an American (despite my citizenship in another country of the Commonwealth)

Quoting BigOrange (Reply 14):
Try the US one..http://uscis.gov/graphics/exec/natz/natztest.asp

Oh dear god.

[Edited 2005-10-31 18:47:51]

25 Post contains images Banco : Red squirrels at that, having unfortunately chosen to make their landing on the Isle of Wight.
26 Post contains images Cornish : The French then surrender their own country to the squirrels, half of the population agreeing to collaborate. A seperate province known as Bushy Fran
27 Post contains images Banco : Under Marshal Pitkin (well, near enough).
28 LTBEWR : Made it to 'district counsel' level (8+). Not bad for a 'yankee'. Guess my visits to the UK have paid off.
29 Post contains images Banco : Your grade is hereby promptly revoked for confusing a governmental position with a legal one. Back to the States with you!
30 Jetjack74 : You got 9 right! 0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne Well
31 Post contains images Cornish : The squirrels give up on the country finding there are simply no balls/nuts to be found on any Frenchman
32 Post contains images ME AVN FAN : while mine have NOT ! neither attending lessons in London for 3 months or the Cambridge Proficiency Exam ! only sufficient for a "seat at LHR"
33 Post contains images Banco : Congratulations! You're now a fully qualified Immigration Officer.
34 Post contains images Jafa39 : There are bigger Queens than you on a.net!
35 Trekster : You got 11 right! 0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne cool
36 Post contains images ME AVN FAN : You mean one of those persons looking down at you from their very HIGH seats at LHR ? not too bad then !
37 Post contains images Banco : And it has never occurred to you why that might be? They're incapable of getting down man! Wake up!
38 Post contains images Mexicana757 : I got 8 right!! Woohoo! UK look out here I come.
39 ME AVN FAN : no doubt about this ! most customs officials are like that ! BUT are supposed to know their country -- so what. - You see, that they ranked lowest in
40 ME AVN FAN : You got 8 right! 0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne - wel
41 Post contains images Skidmarks : I'm scared to even try it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Andy
42 Post contains images RobertNL070 : You got 12 right! 0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne That
43 Alias1024 : I got 9. Not too bad for being a foreigner. Most of the questions on the US one weren't too bad if you are from the US. I can see many being difficult
44 Silverfox : One for football lovers sign seens at the recent Spurs v Arsenal game The English havent been scared of French gunners since 1805 Brilliant wit
45 WiLdmanVzla : You got 12 right! 0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne than
46 Post contains images AsstChiefMark : You got 14 right! 0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne WOOH
47 Post contains images LH423 : 6 correct. Now, where should I run as councillor? LH423
48 Eilennaei : 11, mistook on dog collar, divorce, solicitors.
49 Post contains images Aer Lingus : I only got 5 questions right. So I got a seat in the Heathrow Arrivals. I don't think I am going to do the test again because I know the answers alrea
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