Gordonsmall From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2001, 1995 posts, RR: 24 Posted (7 years 6 months 3 weeks 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 1485 times:
Found this on the BBC news site whilst bored at work.
Apparently these questions are based on the offical "textbook" for the "british-ness" test which you now have to sit if you want to become a british citizen.
Gordonsmall From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2001, 1995 posts, RR: 24 Reply 1, posted (7 years 6 months 3 weeks 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 1474 times:
The funniest thing I've read in ages has to be this question.
Life in the UK explains what to do if you spill someone's pint in the pub (we're not making this up). What, according to the book, usually happens next?
A: You would offer to buy the person another pint
B: You would offer to dry their wet shirt with your own
C: You may need to prepare for a fight in the car park
Statistically, people who have had the most birthdays tend to live the longest.
Jwenting From Netherlands, joined Apr 2001, 10213 posts, RR: 21 Reply 6, posted (7 years 6 months 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 1433 times:
Quoting Gordonsmall (Reply 1): A: You would offer to buy the person another pint
B: You would offer to dry their wet shirt with your own
C: You may need to prepare for a fight in the car park
Jafa39 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 10, posted (7 years 6 months 3 weeks 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 1403 times:
I got 11, let's hope I can do as well in my NZ citizenship test next year.
1: What beer do "Southern Men" drink?
2: Where was the pie sandwich invented?
3: Helen Clark is...............................
4: "Kia Ora" means:
a "Who you lookin' at?
b G'day
c My hovercraft is full of eels
5: When asked for a "Computer Disc" how do you know whether to give the person an item of furniture or a CD Rom?
6: "The All Blacks" are a Reggae Band, True or False?
7: Ford or Holden?
8: The controversial tackle on O'Driscoll during the Lions Tour was:
a No biggie, get over it
b A filthy disgusting show of bad Rugby
c Tough on the Poms for only having 2 decent players
9: Salmonella Dub is:
a A disease caused by eating Wendy Burgers
b A Reggae Dub combo
c The method used to add the soundtrack to LOR films
10: How many Kiwi's live in Earl's Court in London?
a Too many
b As many as there are jobs in pubs
c 5,009
You only need to get Q8 right to get a Kiwi Passport.
BigOrange From United States of America, joined Apr 2004, 2358 posts, RR: 3 Reply 14, posted (7 years 6 months 3 weeks 3 days 13 hours ago) and read 1337 times:
I got 10 right.
Try the US one..http://uscis.gov/graphics/exec/natz/natztest.asp
exactly the reason for me waiting a while before I claim naturalization.
TheSorcerer From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2005, 1047 posts, RR: 0 Reply 17, posted (7 years 6 months 3 weeks 3 days 12 hours ago) and read 1299 times:
Quoting Gkirk (Reply 7): Block up the channel tunnel and refuse permission for any foreigners to move here.
Ever heard of something called a plane?
Quoting NoUFO (Reply 9): Scotland ... "England's beautiful north
LOL that really is the wrong thing to say to a Scottish person.
The Sorcerer
ALITALIA,All Landings In Torino, All Luggage In Athens ;)
Jwenting From Netherlands, joined Apr 2001, 10213 posts, RR: 21 Reply 19, posted (7 years 6 months 3 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1276 times:
Quoting Banco (Reply 12): Would such a policy, instituted over millennia, not mean that the population of the UK would be precisely zero?
Of course, that would have given the French a 50/50 chance of a successful invasion.
Even a population of zero in the opposing country would not give the French any chance of a military victory against it.
They'd probably surrender to a wild boar or be slaughtered by a nest of rabbits
Jwenting From Netherlands, joined Apr 2001, 10213 posts, RR: 21 Reply 20, posted (7 years 6 months 3 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1270 times:
Got 7 right, but I guess I was too cynical in answering the questions, using answers I knew to be fact rather than ones that book would have liked to see
Gkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24621 posts, RR: 58 Reply 21, posted (7 years 6 months 3 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1271 times:
Quoting Jwenting (Reply 19):
Even a population of zero in the opposing country would not give the French any chance of a military victory against it.
They'd probably surrender to a wild boar or be slaughtered by a nest of rabbits Smile
I can see it now:
Breaking News: France surrenders to army of Squirrels!
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
Lentigomaligna From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 24, posted (7 years 6 months 3 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1250 times:
9 right, most by complete guessing; guess that's decent for being an American (despite my citizenship in another country of the Commonwealth)
Quoting BigOrange (Reply 14): Try the US one..http://uscis.gov/graphics/exec/natz/natztest.asp
Oh dear god.
[Edited 2005-10-31 18:47:51]
25 Banco: Red squirrels at that, having unfortunately chosen to make their landing on the Isle of Wight.
26 Cornish: The French then surrender their own country to the squirrels, half of the population agreeing to collaborate. A seperate province known as Bushy Fran
27 Banco: Under Marshal Pitkin (well, near enough).
28 LTBEWR: Made it to 'district counsel' level (8+). Not bad for a 'yankee'. Guess my visits to the UK have paid off.
29 Banco: Your grade is hereby promptly revoked for confusing a governmental position with a legal one. Back to the States with you!
30 Jetjack74: You got 9 right! 0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne Well
31 Cornish: The squirrels give up on the country finding there are simply no balls/nuts to be found on any Frenchman
32 ME AVN FAN: while mine have NOT ! neither attending lessons in London for 3 months or the Cambridge Proficiency Exam ! only sufficient for a "seat at LHR"
33 Banco: Congratulations! You're now a fully qualified Immigration Officer.
34 Jafa39: There are bigger Queens than you on a.net!
35 Trekster: You got 11 right! 0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne cool
36 ME AVN FAN: You mean one of those persons looking down at you from their very HIGH seats at LHR ? not too bad then !
37 Banco: And it has never occurred to you why that might be? They're incapable of getting down man! Wake up!
38 Mexicana757: I got 8 right!! Woohoo! UK look out here I come.
39 ME AVN FAN: no doubt about this ! most customs officials are like that ! BUT are supposed to know their country -- so what. - You see, that they ranked lowest in
40 ME AVN FAN: You got 8 right! 0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne - wel
41 Skidmarks: I'm scared to even try it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Andy
42 RobertNL070: You got 12 right! 0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne That
43 Alias1024: I got 9. Not too bad for being a foreigner. Most of the questions on the US one weren't too bad if you are from the US. I can see many being difficult
44 Silverfox: One for football lovers sign seens at the recent Spurs v Arsenal game The English havent been scared of French gunners since 1805 Brilliant wit
45 WiLdmanVzla: You got 12 right! 0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne than
46 AsstChiefMark: You got 14 right! 0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-13: Seat in Parliament.....14: Seat on the throne WOOH
47 LH423: 6 correct. Now, where should I run as councillor? LH423
48 Eilennaei: 11, mistook on dog collar, divorce, solicitors.
49 Aer Lingus: I only got 5 questions right. So I got a seat in the Heathrow Arrivals. I don't think I am going to do the test again because I know the answers alrea
Sponsor Message: 
From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2001, 1995 posts, 
From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, 
From , joined Dec 1969, posts, 
From Netherlands, joined Apr 2001, 10213 posts, 
From , joined Dec 1969, posts, 
From , joined Dec 1969, posts, 
From United States of America, joined Apr 2004, 2358 posts, 
everyone knows I belong on the throne! 
From Switzerland, joined May 2002, 13874 posts, 
From , joined Dec 1969, posts, 
Printer friendly format 
