Jap From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Posted (9 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 day 13 hours ago) and read 1096 times:
My cousin called yesterday and talked to my mother about how much she hates her husband's family...
That made me realize.. I simply don't get that a lot of people detest their in-laws... Why is that? Is it something that you just HAVE to? Surely, your spouse must love his/her parents and you most likely love yours, and I just can't imagine that it wouldn't be a kick in the teeth to know that your spouse dislikes them.
I myself grew up in a family where the in-laws (my parents' parents that is.. apparently, this doesn't count for my cousin) were never hated or made fun of- my mom didn't mind visiting my dad's parents and my dad didn't mind visiting my mom's mother (my grandfather, her father, died before they even met).
Or am I just being stereotypical? Nobody really dislike their in-laws, it's just made to look that way in movies and such? It has to be said that I have met a LOT of people who hate/dislike (hate is such a strong word... however, that's the word they use) their in-laws and only a few who don't, so I'm not basing this on movies or fictional works.
What do YOU think of your in-laws?
If you dislike them, why do you feel that way?
Usnseallt82 From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 4891 posts, RR: 51
Reply 1, posted (9 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 day 13 hours ago) and read 1084 times:
Quoting Jap (Thread starter): Or am I just being stereotypical? Nobody really dislike their in-laws, it's just made to look that way in movies and such?
I think Hollywood loves to play on the tale of the in-laws from hell a little too much, so that might be a reason why many view them as such. I think is has more to do with the fact that there is ALWAYS some amount of judgment whenever you're around them. The thing that separates the bad ones from the good is the amount of judgment they place. They will always be wondering if you're good enough for their baby, or at least you always think that. So, its just this state of being very uncomfortable everytime you're around them......there's usually tension in the air, even when there's no reason for it to be there.
I don't mind my in-laws at all....they're very nice people. But I hate letting my wife know how much I can tolerate them because as soon as she sees that I don't mind their presence, we end up being around them all the time. After a while, that tension eats at you and you just want to jump up and say 'why the fuck are you looking at me like that?' But, alas, you can't or at least shouldn't, so the understanding is that being around them is just more of a chore than it ever will be a pleasure.
After all, they're not YOUR parents......so their love, and bias, is going more towards one person.
USAFHummer From United States of America, joined May 2000, 10685 posts, RR: 51
Reply 2, posted (9 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 day 13 hours ago) and read 1081 times:
With my parents, each thinks that the other's family is insane and crazy...it makes for some pretty funny arguments when someone in the extended family on one side does something stupid that we hear about...as the son, Im supposed to remain neutral, but I think theres definitely one side of my family that's more crazy than the other, so I try to stay out of such arguments when they happen...
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TNboy From Australia, joined Mar 2002, 1131 posts, RR: 19
Reply 3, posted (9 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 day 12 hours ago) and read 1081 times:
There's always potential for problems. I don't especially like my in-laws, they are super-critical of everyone, and if they weren't relations, they wouldn't be the sort of people I would have as friends. I get on passably well with them, largely because they live on the opposite side of the continent and we rarely see them. My wife actually doesn't like them, and they continually ask her how she ever manages to hang on to me. I get on with them better than she does, but on a scale of 1-10, its about 2.
On the rare occasions my wife starts to irritate me I just say "You are becoming SO MUCH like your mother!" Generally works like a charm, unless she throws something at me.
HAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31808 posts, RR: 55
Reply 4, posted (9 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 1068 times:
Quoting Usnseallt82 (Reply 1): After all, they're not YOUR parents......so their love, and bias, is going more towards one person.
As a Son-in-law.One gets a lot of Importance out here
But as mentioned above.Its bound to be a bit of Partiality involved from the inlaws towards the wife.Best part is the Kids get the Max Love & thats whats most Important.
Flyingbabydoc From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (9 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 1061 times:
Quoting Jap (Thread starter): What do YOU think of your in-laws?
If you dislike them, why do you feel that way?
I think my In-laws are some of the most terrific people I have ever met. Seriously, I get along with them much better than with my own parents. It is wonderful to be around them, I do enjoy the visits (shame they are not more frequent, because of the distance) and we have a great time together. My wife is their sole child, and they have "adopted" me as their son. We travelled together in France this summer and it was one of the best trips I have ever made. So sorry to be the one to disagree, but I think my in-laws are phantastic.
Besides, I dare anyone to cook better than my mother-in-law!
Quoting Usnseallt82 (Reply 1): After all, they're not YOUR parents......so their love, and bias, is going more towards one person
I disagree again. I think they are biased sometimes towards me! My wife gets very jealous of the great relationship between us. Particularly when she is talking to them on the phone and all they do is send me messages through her!!
I guess I can consider myself blessed - the wonderful wife and the greatest in-laws! (no gloating meant)