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How To Get Rid Of Two Fools Squatting My Flat  
User currently offlineRunway23 From Canada, joined Jan 2005, 1756 posts, RR: 51
Posted (4 years 3 weeks 4 hours ago) and read 937 times:

I am currently in a huge predicament.

My flat is currently squatted by two a.nutters who are creating havoc. My neighbours are about to declare a jihad on me.

What measures can I take to eradicate those fools and avoid jihad.

34 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineQANTASforever From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (4 years 3 weeks 4 hours ago) and read 927 times:

Call the police?

QFF

User currently offlineAeroWesty From United States, joined Oct 2004, 15634 posts, RR: 66
Reply 2, posted (4 years 3 weeks 4 hours ago) and read 926 times:

Quoting Runway23 (Thread starter):
What measures can I take to eradicate those fools and avoid jihad.

Start charging them Swedish rates for alcohol.


International Homo of Mystery
User currently offline9VSPO From United Kingdom, joined May 2008, 61 posts, RR: 1
Reply 3, posted (4 years 3 weeks 4 hours ago) and read 886 times:

Let off stink bombs in every room until they can't bear it anymore.

User currently offlineFlyAUA From Austria, joined May 2005, 4180 posts, RR: 60
Reply 4, posted (4 years 3 weeks 4 hours ago) and read 883 times:

Quoting Runway23 (Thread starter):
creating havoc.

Nooooooo... BNE and UTA!?  eek 


Not drinking, also isn't a solution!
User currently offlineBHMBAGLOCK From United States, joined Jul 2005, 2693 posts, RR: 6
Reply 5, posted (4 years 3 weeks 4 hours ago) and read 875 times:

Take a vacation, have the water, electricity, telephone, internet, etc. turned off ahead of time. Come to think of it, if they're a.netters the internet should be enough.


Where are all of my respected members going?
User currently offlineClassicLover From Ireland, joined Mar 2004, 3807 posts, RR: 22
Reply 6, posted (4 years 3 weeks 3 hours ago) and read 867 times:

Start wearing clogs.

Trent.


I choose to fly oneworld, as a member of Qantas Frequent Flyer.
User currently offlineLHMark From United States, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 62
Reply 7, posted (4 years 3 weeks 3 hours ago) and read 849 times:

Take away their photographic gear.


"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineDL021 From United States, joined May 2004, 11075 posts, RR: 97
Reply 8, posted (4 years 3 weeks 3 hours ago) and read 838 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

I know....hide all your porn and have your internet service temporarily interrupted......


they'll be gone 5 minutes later....


Is my Pan Am ticket to the moon still good?
User currently offlineRunway23 From Canada, joined Jan 2005, 1756 posts, RR: 51
Reply 9, posted (4 years 3 weeks 3 hours ago) and read 822 times:

Rhaa.

Someone shall definately be sleeping in the Bin (Laden) Room tonight after posting untrue facts about sexuality. RHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

User currently offlinePe@rson From United Kingdom (England), joined Jan 2001, 16724 posts, RR: 58
Reply 10, posted (4 years 3 weeks 2 hours ago) and read 809 times:

Get Orion737 down there in his tight-as-anything trousers. He'll soon sort them out.  Silly  Wow!

User currently offlineFlyAUA From Austria, joined May 2005, 4180 posts, RR: 60
Reply 11, posted (4 years 3 weeks 2 hours ago) and read 791 times:

Quoting Runway23 (Reply 9):

It's ok you don't have to deny it Runway23... we're all friends on here any nobdoy has a problem with it  Wink


Not drinking, also isn't a solution!
User currently offlineJetjack74 From United States, joined Jul 2003, 6587 posts, RR: 55
Reply 12, posted (4 years 3 weeks 1 hour ago) and read 776 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Send Jehovah's witnesses round every ten minutes.


"Shut your pie hole and listen to me when I say that I am finished with the checking of the bags conversation."
User currently offlineMhodgson From United Kingdom (England), joined Dec 2002, 4970 posts, RR: 40
Reply 13, posted (4 years 3 weeks 1 hour ago) and read 765 times:

Tell them Peter Max is in Gatwick, and that Hibiscus is due into LHR afterwards.


No trees were harmed by this message. However, several million electrons were terribly inconvenienced
User currently offlineANCFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 14, posted (4 years 3 weeks 1 hour ago) and read 744 times:

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y60/csmpep/DutyWeapons.jpg

User currently offlineCosec59 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 15, posted (4 years 3 weeks ago) and read 739 times:

Quoting 9VSPO (Reply 3):
Let off stink bombs in every room until they can't bear it anymore.

Or get 9VSPO round for an hour. Should have the same effect

User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 27796 posts, RR: 61
Reply 16, posted (4 years 3 weeks ago) and read 716 times:

Cut the Net connection You all Three would be out of there in Minutes. biggrin 
regds
MEL


Think of the brighter side!
User currently offlineJetjack74 From United States, joined Jul 2003, 6587 posts, RR: 55
Reply 17, posted (4 years 2 weeks 6 days 21 hours ago) and read 662 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

One barrel for each squatter. Nice. Is it just coincidence that there are 3 clips for the pistol?


"Shut your pie hole and listen to me when I say that I am finished with the checking of the bags conversation."
User currently offlineANCFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 18, posted (4 years 2 weeks 6 days 21 hours ago) and read 655 times:

Quoting Jetjack74 (Reply 17):
Is it just coincidence that there are 3 clips for the pistol?

Naaa, standard load . . . one in the weapon, two on the belt.

But in this instance, it does come in handy, eh??  bigthumbsup 

User currently offlinePope From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 19, posted (4 years 2 weeks 6 days 21 hours ago) and read 641 times:

Ask B744F to come over. Within 5 minutes of his arrival everyone will be gone. The only problem is that you'll have to fumigate after he leaves.

User currently offlineJafa39 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 20, posted (4 years 2 weeks 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 610 times:

Quoting Runway23 (Thread starter):
What measures can I take to eradicate those fools and avoid jihad.

Offer SlamClick and Logan22L some money to perform "ethnic cleansing".

If that doesn't work send in QFF and tell him they are "Monarchist Dolts"

XXX

User currently offlineGkirk From United Kingdom (Scotland), joined Jun 2000, 23833 posts, RR: 69
Reply 21, posted (4 years 2 weeks 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 605 times:

Quoting Jafa39 (Reply 20):
Offer SlamClick and Logan22L some money to perform "ethnic cleansing".

If that doesn't work send in QFF and tell him they are "Monarchist Dolts"

XXX

 rotfl  rotfl  rotfl 


When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineDLKAPA From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 22, posted (4 years 2 weeks 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 600 times:

Ok ANC I gotta ask what kind of shotty is that?

User currently offlineJetjack74 From United States, joined Jul 2003, 6587 posts, RR: 55
Reply 23, posted (4 years 2 weeks 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 598 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

A glock, just guessing.


"Shut your pie hole and listen to me when I say that I am finished with the checking of the bags conversation."
User currently offlineANCFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 24, posted (4 years 2 weeks 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 578 times:

Quoting DLKAPA (Reply 22):
Ok ANC I gotta ask what kind of shotty is that?

Shotgun is a Remington 870 Police Special . . .

Quoting Jetjack74 (Reply 23):
A glock, just guessing.

That's the hand gun . . .

The rifle is a Bushmaster.

Quoting Pope (Reply 19):
you'll have to fumigate after he leaves.

Bug infestations suck don't they?!  biggrin 

User currently offlineBHMBAGLOCK From United States, joined Jul 2005, 2693 posts, RR: 6
Reply 25, posted (4 years 2 weeks 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 573 times:

Quoting DLKAPA (Reply 22):
Ok ANC I gotta ask what kind of shotty is that?



Quoting Jetjack74 (Reply 23):
A glock, just guessing.

I think he's asking about the middle weapon(shotgun), not the pistol. Remington 870 I believe, ANC can you confirm or refute?


Where are all of my respected members going?
26 ANCFlyer:
27 Post contains images TheSorcerer: The pistol is a glock 17 or 18 I think. Getting hold of these in Britain might be a bit problematic, now you know what runway23 wants for Christmas th
28 ANCFlyer: 22 .40 Cal . . .
29 Swisskloten: Have Kaz strip and lure them away from the fence. Then, sprinkle something nasty on the ground, particularly something that will stick to their shoes
30 QANTASFOREVER: I'm more inclined toward Neo-Imperialistic slop, or Vice-Vice-Royal swill these days thankyouverymuch. QFF
31 Post contains images NWA742: -NWA742
32 Kevinl1011: Put on an Adam Sandler movie.
33 Jafa39: Either should work! Kevin, if i am ever round your house and you want to get rid of me, you know which movies to put on!!!
34 LTBEWR: Start to charge them rent. Every day ask for like 50-100 Pounds maybe at like 6am in the morning. That will chase them out. Maybe you could play reall
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