Bsergonomics From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2002, 462 posts, RR: 0 Posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 2759 times:
It happens in every industry. For example, the new person on the building site is sent to the local hardware shop and told to ask for a "Long Weight" or "A tin of stripey paint". It happens all over the world.
What great ones have you done/had played on you?
Here's one from a trolley dolly friend:
While parked next to another a/c from the same airline, the new FA is called to the cockpit. The pilot explains that the APU has gone U/S and they need the spare from the neighbouring a/c. He/she is told that the APU is very, very fragile and so utmost care must be taken while carrying it. He/she is given a sickbag to carry it in and dispatched to the other a/c. Much hilarity as they are watched by the crews of both a/c carefully carrying a sickbag (now containing a sandwich or something) across the apron...
So come on, spill the beans (or dehydrated water)...
The definition of a 'Pessimist': an Optimist with experience...
Bsergonomics From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2002, 462 posts, RR: 0 Reply 2, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 22 hours ago) and read 2581 times:
During one evacuation training, a new F/A trainee (bless him!) was told that you should wear the passenger earphones to counteract the decompression (not simulated, just practiced) and to keep your eyes shut (to stop damage due to your eyeballs expanding).
They timed him at 5 mins 30 secs before he opened his eyes to find a very empty simulator!!!
The definition of a 'Pessimist': an Optimist with experience...
Wilcharl From United States of America, joined Jun 2000, 1158 posts, RR: 3 Reply 3, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 21 hours ago) and read 2578 times:
Prop wash, bin stretchers, 50 feet of flight line batteries for glow wands, keys to the airplane, magnetos for a JT8-D send a new ramp rat after an air sample from an ideling engine (really really mean)
Patroni From Luxembourg, joined Aug 1999, 1403 posts, RR: 14 Reply 7, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 11 hours ago) and read 2491 times:
Just heard of a mechanic apprentice who was in a maintenance facility with mainly general aviation aircraft. He was shown how to check the opening for the stall warning on a C172. Normally you do this by placing a tissue over the opening, put your mouth on that tissue and suck a bit of air to see if the stall warning sound appears, reacting to the "underpressure". However the mechanics told their apprentice that he has to BLOW into that opening.... you can imagine the poor guy blowing his lungs off without hearing the stall warning signal while the mechanics stood behind him, shook their heads, saying "Hmm. strange that you can't make it sound.... it is soooo easy, maybe you have to blow with more pressure??"
BTW : No, I was neither the apprentice nor one of the mechanics, so all this is only third hand knowledge from a former flight instructor. Yet I found it funny
Sophiemaltese From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 2064 posts, RR: 3 Reply 8, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 2462 times:
Patroni, I see my CFI do that all the time. I thought he was blowing, though now that I think about it, you would have to suck. I've never tried it myself though. And he never places a tissue over it either. He's probably contracted the Ebola virus or something by now from sucking on airplanes.
Vc10 From United Kingdom, joined Nov 2001, 1395 posts, RR: 16 Reply 9, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 2421 times:
back in the early 1970's when I was flying on VC-10s, we used to play a game with the passengers who visited the flight deck, which went as follows. The captain would tell the passenger that on this modern aircraft[ well it was for those days] you could talk to the engine throttles and they would respond. Sure enough he would give a command i.e. No 1 throttle move forward or back and sure enough the throttle used to respond. The pax would then be given a go and again the result was the same. We would have pax of all age groups talking to the throttles during the cruise, I often wonder what their friends thought when they told the tale later.
The reason of course was at the back/side of the
flight deck was the F/E [who nobody took any notice of] with his own set of interlinked throttles busy moving his set back and forth as commanded
With new F/A the Captain would ask them to undergo the virginity test by placing their hand over his comms box and if it lit up she was no virgin. Of course the evil F/E had a comms box illumination test switch.
A/c train From United Kingdom, joined Jun 2001, 501 posts, RR: 4 Reply 11, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 3 days 13 hours ago) and read 2377 times:
Im training to be a licenced Aircraft eng at the mo, ive been in an Aircraft Engineering/maintenance enviroment for the past 2 years and 3 months during that time ive had some good laughs with tricks, heres some I can remember,
- Bubbles for a spirit level
- Left Handed screwdriver
- The bin stretcher one !
- Light Bulb repair kit
- Batterys for glow wands
- 5 yds of flight line
- Send someone to get a Metric Adjustable spanner
- Look for a skyhook
- Ask an apprentice to get some yellow Skydrol for the ' yellow hydraulic system '.
- Bag of Fallopian tubes
- Send soemone to stores to get a long weight ' 30 mins later the apprentice is still standing there, storeman says, they're you go , you've had your long weight ' LOL, it cracks me up.
- Tell an idiot mech to order an inflatable dartboard for the crew room, tell him its for easy stowage, you'll be happy to know most don't fall for it !, thank god.
- Tin of striped primer.
ill send some more if i can think of any.
SUDDEN From Sweden, joined Jul 2001, 4128 posts, RR: 6 Reply 14, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 3 days 7 hours ago) and read 2305 times:
This is a rahter hard joke, but no harm was done.
A new guy started as a ramp rat at our company. A friend of mine had toilettruckservice wich meens to wash of the truck and empty the tank. He had this new guy with him, and after he had empty the tank, he told the guy that we always jump down in the tank and sweap away the "dirt" that don't get flushed away by the water.
He didn't think the guy would fall for this, but guess what!!??
He did!!! So when the "rookie" was half way down the tank, he stoped him.
Well, we got a huge big laugh of that one.
Paulc From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2001, 1490 posts, RR: 0 Reply 15, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 3 days 6 hours ago) and read 2294 times:
The bubble for a level is one i remember. The person we sent for it was very young and the storeman realised it was a practical joke so he got him to re-contact us to ask if it was a metric or imperial bubble required - doh!
OPNLguy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 16, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 2284 times:
1/ New ramp rat, attached to an aircraft headset as he "walks" his first aircraft back upon pushback. Just as they stop (but before the ramp rat disconnects the towbar), and another, EVIL ramp rat runs up and an BREATHLESSLY tells newbie Rat that "Don't let the airplane takeoff--they've got a bent Johnson rod!" or some such item that's sure to result in certain doom. My personal favorite variation was a newbie-rat that fancied himself a real ladies man, and the "malfunction" on his flight was a "bent Fallopian tube", which he dutifully reported to the captain. The good captain, being unamused, and otherwise unbelieving that anyone could be so ignorant of female anatomy, had them tow it BACK to the gate.
2/ Saw this happen on a Piedmont 727, but am sure it's been done elsewhere. The wall to the right of the F/E has on the other side the forward lav. We were on a 3:00 flight, and the first couple of time this new F/A came into the cockpit, the F/E was always bending down to his right and looking into a small door he had open in that wall adjoining the lav. The third time she came up front, the F/E pretended like he didn't see her enter the cockpit, and was engaging the other two pilots in some locker room conversation about this really cute girl in the forward lav....etc. The new F/A turns red and beats feet out of the cockpit, never to be seen again. Well, until the end of the flight when they told her she'd been conned..
DC10Tony From United States of America, joined May 2001, 1012 posts, RR: 0 Reply 17, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 2268 times:
A couple of weeks ago during the rain, we were waiting to push an A330 back and it had stopped raining for a few minutes. I told this new guy that we have to hand dry the plane's belly before it can take off.
I shouldn't have told him it was a joke too soon, because he said he would've started to dry it off if I hadn't told him otherwise. Next time...
FlightTest From United States of America, joined Apr 2002, 35 posts, RR: 0 Reply 18, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 2153 times:
Our shop favorite is to tell a new guy that a particular plane is squawked for having a crack in one of the cabin windows and to check it out. When he gets there and takes a look, it has a crack alright, one of the guys will be one the inside with a full moon shining out the window if you know what I mean.
Bsergonomics From United Kingdom, joined Jan 2002, 462 posts, RR: 0 Reply 20, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day ago) and read 2119 times:
I asked around the office - one of the chaps used to be in maintenance at Heathrow. Most of his ones have already been mentioned. But he told of telling the industrial placement student (so not exactly stupid) that on the old B747s, you had to knock the old brake discs off with a sledgehammer. The problem was, because of the way that they were installed, you had to knock the ones on the right hand side of the undercarriage off with a right handed hammer. The left ones were removed with a left-handed hammer.
You can see where this is going.
After 45 minutes, the student came back saying that he had located many right-handed hammers, but couldn't for the life of him locate a left-handed one...
The definition of a 'Pessimist': an Optimist with experience...
Saintsman From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2002, 2065 posts, RR: 2 Reply 22, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day ago) and read 2103 times:
We did a big mod on the RAF VC-10s, so the cabin was empty. When we got the aircraft ready for test flight we attached a survival pack to the seat rails, just behind the flight deck, which looked like a parachute.
We convinced this lad that was just what it was. When he asked why there was only one, we told him that the regulations stated that in the event of a problem where the aircraft might crash, the captain had to stay at his post (go down with his ship) and that the co-pilot had to parachute to safety in order to tell the authorities what had happened.
We then had a long discussion on why that was not fair and how he would fight for the parachute because he wouldn't want to die.
Srbmod From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 17282 posts, RR: 51 Reply 23, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 2091 times:
All of those are classic. When I worked at one airline, we sent a new guy up to the cabin of a plane at one of our gates because one of our guys said the f/a wanted to see him. Little did he know that the f/a was a tranny!
Expratt From United States of America, joined Mar 2000, 311 posts, RR: 0 Reply 24, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 21 hours ago) and read 2085 times:
When I was aboard the aircraft carrier, there would be hunts for snipes and sea bats. And when someone catches a sea bat, never, never look in the box at it, or worse, get down on the deck to look in the box. (Those that have know why.) People would be stationed on one of sponsons for the mail buoy watch. There was one person that was sent for the proverbial bucket of prop wash that returned with a 5 gallon can of "Prop Wash," and it even had a national stock number.
XFSUgimpLB41X From United States of America, joined Aug 2000, 4104 posts, RR: 38 Reply 25, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 19 hours ago) and read 2069 times:
Occasionally I'll be with friends flying or have a student that ive had for awhile. This allows me to be a bit more lax with them and have some fun...
One of my favorites has been to have them turn on the autopilot... show them basically how to use it. When i tell them to turn it off, they kinda grope around looking for the disengage.... as soon as they hit it.. i jab the stick forward into a momentary nose dive. Never ceases to get some good laughs. Also if one of my friends has never really been in an airplane before, i'll try to get them to honk the horn, dont press the big red "crash" button.. and such...