Did The Counselor Have The Right To Do This?

Wed Jul 12, 2000 3:29 am


When I was in 7th grade, late in the year (I am now going into 9th) someone started a rumor about me being gay. I just ignored it, but when the whole school asked me every day, I got annoyed. I went to the 7th grade counselor and asked her what I could do. She said immediatley that she wanted to call and talk to my mom and I should give her all of teh names of the poeple. I didn't let her call my mom, it was too embaressing, and even though I held on for 4 hours of her nagging me and making me tell her who was doing it, I wouldn't squeal. I decided right at the moment after I walked in that I had made a bad choice to see her. I left, she didn't call my mom, and I forgot about it until...

IN the middle of 8th grade, right after conferences, she gave me a little pink slip to come down to her office to talk to her. I went, out of respect, and again we sat tehre for half a school day and she couldn't get me to let her call my mom (what good would it do, other tahn bring embaressment?) and she didn't get a name out of me. Aout two weeks later, she sent me down to her office again and told me that she had been thinking about the subjedct and she talked it over with her husband. Now, her husband is a city commissioner and I frequently attend the meetings and I have gotten to know him and he is fairly nice, so I didn't want him to know. I think she violated Doctor-Patient right there. Then, she proceeded to say that she had decided that she absolutley needed to call my mom. I begged and begged and finally, she let go and started to ask for names of people and I refused to tell her again. She even bvrought teh PRINCIPAL in and he tried to get it out of me, both eagerly leaning forward to listen to anything I say with their little pencil and paper. The principal left and she again, begged to call my mom. I said no. Then, she sneaked out of me a "yes," but not to call my mom and she procedded to pick up the phone and dial her at work. I cried and cried and pleaded and she still went on. Now, not only did she call her, but she made her come down to teh office off work to talk to her. I got so mad. My mom finally came and she talked. That was it,a nd my mom was mad too for her violating my rights, but didn't speak up. The counselor kept going up to me and tried to talk to me and I just ignored her every time. Did she violate my rights? I think she did. I brought something to herthat I trusted her with and she told two people. But, I did flick her off at teh end of teh year  


Now through all of this, I am starting to be attracted to guys.

RE: Did The Counselor Have The Right To Do This?

Wed Jul 12, 2000 4:07 am

The counselor certainly did violate doctor-patient confidence there, however you have no legal grounding since you weren't paying her exclusively to listen to your problems. Good for you for flipping her the bird!
I had a similar problem in 6th grade, when nasty rumors started going around about me, however I had the entire 6th grade, plus part of the 7th and 8th grades, on my back 24/7. It eventually got to the point where I wouldn't answer the phone, and I changed my email address and refused to let anyone, even my best friend, know it. By Easter of 6th grade, I finally realized (after upwards of a dozen fistfights) that I couldn't get through it myself. I talked to the "counselor" (actually a teacher I'd had before and would trust with my life), and the second she saw me walk in, she knew exactly what I was about to say and called the principal in. Not what I had planned, but the principal, after my parents came too, got all the names out of me and nailed everyone involved with detentions, suspensions, and in 1 case (he was already there anyway- this just sealed it) an expulsion.
My life was easier, but I regretted it and felt almost responsible myself. I'm over it now, 3 years later, and though my privacy wasn't violated in the same way, I have a general idea of where you're coming from.
By the way- I'm quite certain I'm straight.
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RE: Did The Counselor Have The Right To Do This?

Wed Jul 12, 2000 1:00 pm

What happened to you, JMW AIRTRANS, could certainly have been grounds for a lawsuit should your parents have chosen to pursue it. That counelor violated your right to privacy, and from what I read, she and the principal intimidated you and forced you to do things you didn't want to. Both could have been and should be fired for their actions, which I think are completely out of line. When I have children, if anything like that happens to them, I will raise high holy hell.
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RE: Did The Counselor Have The Right To Do This?

Wed Jul 12, 2000 1:34 pm

NO. You have rights! Rights that entitle you to privacy, and to keep private, what you choose. As an "counsellor" this woman should've realised that she broke a cardinal rule. Although I don't expect you to sue, you should know that in the future, you have to right to disclose whatever information you choose. Even in a police station, the Miranda Rights protect you from answering any question you don't want to, if you don't have an attorney present. Why shouldn't this exist in a school counselling office? You went for guidance, and instead got more grief for your troubles. This is definitely not right, and the next time you see her, tell her she can shove her head up her arse for me.

« On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux » Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
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RE: Did The Counselor Have The Right To Do This?

Thu Jul 13, 2000 12:47 pm

Of course she didn't. Hasn't she ever heard of confidentiality. I guess not. I would persu this to the principal to see if maybe the counselor should be repremanded. If no action there, maybe the superintendent of the school district. Well, whatever happens, hope it turns out for the best.
"If it was cool to be a fool, I'd be the hippest guy around"
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Thu Jul 13, 2000 12:57 pm

Hi there,

Are you saying that the experience MADE you gay?


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