This Research Just In........

Thu Oct 12, 2000 2:33 pm

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it)

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it)

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig) (How did they figure this out, and why?)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Still can't get over that pig thing, hey ?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?) (And pigs get 30-minute orgasms?
Doesn't seem fair... does it)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of...?) (Did we taxpayers pay for this research??)

Polar bears are left handed. (Who knew....? Who cares? How did they find out, ask them?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. That's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes...can you imagine??
And why pigs?)

A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death. (Creepy)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the....) (Well, at least pigs get a break there...)

Some LIONS mate over 50 times a day. (In my next life I still want to be a pig...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, geez) (That's almost as bad as catfish)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too.)

After reading all these, all I can say is............. Lucky Pigs.......

RE: This Research Just In........

Thu Oct 12, 2000 2:36 pm


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RE: This Research Just In........

Thu Oct 12, 2000 2:37 pm


I liked your comments, esp.

Now you know why all those sports teams wanted to be the "Pigs" but it didn't go over well with uneducated sports fans.

RE: This Research Just In........

Thu Oct 12, 2000 2:41 pm


RE: This Research Just In........

Thu Oct 12, 2000 4:20 pm

Very funny.
Anotehr one for you:
Barnicles have the longest penis to body size ratio. If they where the size of people it would be as long as a 777.
After all of this I would rather be Lion!
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RE: Brissie_lions

Fri Oct 13, 2000 1:56 am

Dear Brissie_lions,

I read this post and found it a bit simple. Are you being fulfilled in life?

This is not an insulting comment, at least I do not mean it to be. But you appear to me to be just living your life for animal pleasures alone.

There is a bit more to living than just feeling good physically and sexually. A dog basically wants to feel good physically and sexually. But even dogs enjoy purposful work.

My question to you other than the above is, is there something we can do to open a door to the discoveries of life?

The great time in wondering about flowers, and I don't mean anything about how a flower would feel inside one of your or my crevasses, is a start. Perhaps I am only seeing one side of you. You might be brillient but possessing the need to be meaningless on this forum.

But I would take a little time in private to ponder your future, and see if you truly possess a higher self than just a sexual, feeling animal. You have a mind, will and emotions that together can do great things for the world.

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Fri Oct 13, 2000 1:59 am

I can't put words in someone else's mouth but if I had to guess I'd say Brissie is well aware of the idea you're communicating - but the post was a fun kinda' thing. Even the most mentally aware and intellectual stimulating people like to share a good laugh from time to time.
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RE: This Research Just In........

Fri Oct 13, 2000 2:40 am

Greeneyes, these aren't even his words, I got this in an email maybe a month or two ago. I assume that is how he came upon it too. Seems its just making the rounds.

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RE: "G.E."

Fri Oct 13, 2000 2:55 am

Greeneyes, have you taken your Metamucil today??
An unexamined life isn't worth living.


Fri Oct 13, 2000 3:22 am


RE: This Research Just In........

Fri Oct 13, 2000 3:23 am

Well there aren't all my words, but I have made some modifications to the original email I received about a year ago.

And for Greeneyes. I know full well what I want in life and in my future, and have my head screwed on the right way. I know more about life than a lot of people twice my age (this coming from those people themselves), maybe coz I have had the opportunity to travel far and wide (both on a physical and a personal level), and have seen and experienced a hell of a lot of things firsthand for myself. Maybe if you take the time to read all of my posts, you will see that for yourself. I can be deadly serious when I want to be, but deep down, I am just an Aussie larrikan who really does love to have a good time and a laugh (i.e. life is not meant to be serious, otherwise we will all become mental patients). But you are right, you may only *care to notice* one side of me, but if you take the time to get to know me, you will find that I am caring, sensitive, but a little Aussie battler and larrikan at heart.

I do find this line from you a little, ummmm, can I say, a bit much? "You might be brillient but possessing the need to be meaningless on this forum." In the short time I have been here in these forums, you would be surprised by the number who have contacted me to say "Thanks for your support in .......", or have even contacted me in a quest for some sound advice. Because I am totally at one with myself, and enjoy helping other people, does the fact, that through my presence here I have been able to help a person in need, mean that I am to be "meaningless". Quite the contrary.

But as for the subject matter, would you prefer for me to post something humourous on, ohhh, let's say, religion? Could you imagine the cat fight that would ensue if I was to do that. And we have seen the results in the past when I take the piss out of other people (nationalities). Again, cat fights. Sex is not all I think about, in fact, I very rarely consciously think about it, in a serious way anyway (unless one brings the subject up first in a discussion). Did you see any *sex* posts by me before the infamous *Adam and Steve* thread? The reason I put this on here, is that it is sure as hell better having a laugh, than discussing religion and politics all the time which always turn into cat fights (isn't there a rule about that in life's little handbook?).
You seem to think that I have an unhealthy hang-up on sex (that's the way I interpret your words....which might I add, it sounds like you might have, but I can't say that for sure, because I don't know anything about you), but isn't sex supposed to be a fun experience for a person. And isn't it these *fun* things in life which people can usually find funny and have a laugh at. As I have said many a time before, if only people would stop taking things, especially life, so seriously all the time, and actually find time to laugh, this world would be a better place for us all.

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RE: This Research Just In........

Fri Oct 13, 2000 3:43 am

I'll wait to start my next life until they have figured out how to cross a lion with a pig... 50x30=1500 minutes of pure pleasure...or make it 25 hours. They better add an extra hour to the day!!!  



Fri Oct 13, 2000 4:19 am

Well my friend, I am already half way there in this life, except 50 times a day? One word for that. OUCH!!  


Brissie LIONS  
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RE: This Research Just In........

Fri Oct 13, 2000 4:38 am

You never thought of changing your name to Brissie PIGS, did ya? I think I will...  Man, 30 minutes...

By the way, wouldn't it be messy? I mean, squirting all over for 30 about white x-mas! Yuck!  

See ya!

RE: This Research Just In........

Fri Oct 13, 2000 4:40 am

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Man !!! Brissie this was hilarious, I'm reading this here in the computer room, my face turned red and everyone is looking at me !!!     Thanks for cheering me up

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RE: Brissie_lions

Fri Oct 13, 2000 6:31 am

Well said, Mr Lions.

I just read another of your posts (or an answer to one), and find it good. Your language is socially refined and the material wholesome. Therefore I have at least one answer to my questions to you. You certainly are smart and are able to think for yourself.

But I am puzzled that anyone would wax refined in one arena and defile his person in another. This is common. I am not trying to separate you out. Actually the truth is that I see potential dashed with the gutter.

But this is only a quest for truth. You can do whatever you want--especially in the Commonwealth of Australia where freedom is wonderfully available (no kidding at all).

I don't like part of the answer I got but the other part I like much. You are smart and kind of funny and crude. Your choice...

Matt D
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RE: This Research Just In........

Fri Oct 13, 2000 9:02 am

I have no idea how much truth is contained, but it did make for some entertaining reading.


Sat Oct 14, 2000 5:57 am

Although your words are structured well, I am getting insulted by them.

I do not like the way you say that I "defile" myself. Why do you say this? Because I have the nerve to post something a bit humourous on sex? Please, don't say YES to this, because laughing and joking about sex, does not mean I am defiling myself, instead it shows how comfortable I am on the subject to be able to do that.

And I bet there is no guessing which part of my "answer" you didn't like. Why is that? What is wrong with it?

"This is a quest for truth".....what is that? Please explain.

I don't piss fart about when I say something, I get straight to the punch (and what a mighty punch it is a lot of the time), so I would appreciate you do the same thing, and tell me exactly what your problem with me or this thread is.

And me being "smart and kind of funny and crude" is not a is who I am, and I am not going to change for you, or anyone else. Love me or hate me, this is who I am; oh yeah...and I won't be going away anytime soon, so you will just have to learn to put up with me  
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RE: This Research Just In........

Sat Oct 14, 2000 6:40 am

Just to prove that I don't take you to task for everything, I loved this post, and found it entertaining on many levels. Funny, but also reflective of the unusual things people have studied and measured, which adds even more to the humor.
I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
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RE: This Research Just In........

Sat Oct 14, 2000 10:20 am

Hahahah!   That was very funny Brissie.

Greeneyes: Just because people post jokes and make comments about them doesn't mean they don't have lives! I know many people with full lives who sometimes make comments like that!

Aaron G.

RE: This Research Just In........

Sat Oct 14, 2000 11:50 am

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RE: Greeneyes

Sat Oct 14, 2000 12:55 pm

Are you content with your life? we've had this problem in other posts were you for no apparant reason come out insulting peoples intelligence/ideals.


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RE: This Research Just In........

Sat Oct 14, 2000 1:12 pm


Why can't someone just put a humorous post out there, without having to be analysed?


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