XFSUgimpLB41X
Topic Author
Posts: 3960
Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2000 1:18 am

Al Gore... President To Be....

Fri Oct 20, 2000 1:19 pm

I got this in an email... the sad part is it sounds like something he'd say...

Good afternoon. I'm Al Gore, and I'd like to tell you about myself.

I know a lot about hardship, because I came into this world as a poor black child in a tiny town in the backwoods of Tennessee. I was born in a log cabin that I built with my own hands. I taught myself to read by candlelight and helped support my 16 brothers and sisters by working summers as a deck hand on a Mississippi River steamboat.

My mother taught me the value of education, so every day; I would walk 5 miles to a one-room schoolhouse. I was a mischievous, fun-loving scamp, though I never dreamed that one-day, my youthful escapades would
serve as the inspiration for "Huckleberry Finn." Back then, black folks in the South were second-class citizens. One day, a traveling minister came through town, and I asked him if anyone was ever going to do something to guarantee civil rights for all Americans.
Well, I guess I made an impression. You see, the minister's name was Martin Luther King, Jr.

My father was a United States Senator. He once perched me on his knee and said, "Son, if you work hard and listen to your mama, someday you can live in a hotel in Washington, D.C., and go to an exclusive prep school."
But life of privilege was not for me. After getting my high school diploma, I took a job in a hot, dirty textile mill. I was so appalled at the treatment of the workers there that I organized a union. Later, that experience inspired a movie - which is why, to this day, my close
friends at the AFL-CIO call me "Norma Rae."

When word got out what an 18 year old factory worker had done, Harvard called and offered me a scholarship. I captained the hockey team to four consecutive national championships, but I also played football and was good enough to win the Heisman Trophy. During my college years, I lived in a housing project and moonlighted playing lead guitar for a little rock band. You may have heard of it -- the Rolling Stones.

But there was a war going on, and I felt I had to serve my country. So I enlisted in the U.S. Army and went to Vietnam. I was deeply opposed to the war, but I did my duty as a soldier and came back home with the
Medal of Honor and the Croix de Guerre.

When I got back, I took a long journey across this great land of ours. I've crossed the deserts bare, man, I've breathed the mountain air, man, I've traveled, I've done my share, man, I've been everywhere. And the people I
met at truckstops and campgrounds and homeless shelters on that journey all said the same thing: "Al, we need you in Washington." I knew they were right, but
first I had to take care of some other business---building the World Trade Center, founding the Audubon Society, doing the clinical research that proved smoking caused cancer, and coming up with the recipe for Mrs. Field's chocolate chip cookies.

Finally, I deferred to the demands of the people of Tennessee and allowed them to elect me to the House of Representatives and the Senate, where I established the US Strategic Oil Reserve. And then one winter day
nearly nine years ago, for no particular reason, I answered the call of the people once again and took the oath of office as Vice President of the United States. Since then, I've been part of the most successful administration in American history. And, in my spare time, I invented the Internet.

Many times Bill Clinton has been pondering some grave decision and has asked me what to do. And when I would give him my thoughts, he would invariably say, "Of course. That's brilliant. Why didn't I think of that?"
During the darkest days of the impeachment battle, the president told me he only wished he had listened when I told him to stay away from that dark-haired intern. So after I decided to run for president, I sat down with him and asked if he had any suggestions about how to conduct my campaign. And Bill Clinton gave me a few simple words of advice -- words I'll never forget. He looked me in the eye and he said, "Al, just tell the
truth, it's always worked for me."
Chicks dig winglets.
 
Guest

RE: Al Gore... President To Be....

Fri Oct 20, 2000 2:50 pm

Ha ha ha.... I sware I laughed for like 10 minutes after reading that!
 
Ilyushin96M
Posts: 2506
Joined: Sat Sep 04, 1999 3:15 am

RE: Al Gore... President To Be....

Fri Oct 20, 2000 11:00 pm

GAWD!!!  
 
Greeneyes53787
Posts: 817
Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2000 10:34 am

RE: Al Gore... President To Be....

Sat Oct 21, 2000 12:31 am

This is probably very close to how Al Gore sounds to many Republicans, and increasingly many Democrats.

The author forgot about how Mr Gore's first and foremost concern is our country's education. "I'm glad you asked that Betty. There's a BIG difference here between the governor and myself on this issue. My greatest concern this election is for our children and their education. We have the best education system in the world--but it could be better..."

Sound familiar?
 
747-451
Posts: 2327
Joined: Wed Oct 04, 2000 5:50 am

RE: Al Gore... President To Be....

Sat Oct 21, 2000 2:45 am

right on the money....
 
Guest

RE: Al Gore... President To Be....

Sat Oct 21, 2000 3:04 am

THE BEST POST I HAVE SEEN IN THIS FORUM.

Pat
 
lax2000
Posts: 525
Joined: Tue May 25, 1999 9:12 am

RE: Al Gore... President To Be....

Sat Oct 21, 2000 3:19 am

That was a great story! Thanks!!!

Heres George W's (with alittle help from his daddy)

Girrble, girrble, droll spit I'm a simpleton and like to tell y'all somtin bout how blah, blah, I love my daddy and I'm so wired right now I cant stop grinding my teeth together. I like shooting squirrels! and acorns, guns are cool, I can't wait till abortion is illegal again and then all the women will go to Mexico Yeehah!!!, where's my lethal injectors. I'm gonna bomb the Middle East with my Dick, Cheyney that is, we gots some ballistic missles and stuff. I love my Mommy too. grind, grind, drool. I is feelin reaal subliminal like right now, got to go, bye y'all.

George W.
 
Guest

RE: Al Gore... President To Be....

Sat Oct 21, 2000 7:44 am

I would say the first post about Algore is more accurate than Lax2000's last post about W....

Great one, XFSUgimpLB41X... I am emailing that one to everyone I know.
 
Greeneyes53787
Posts: 817
Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2000 10:34 am

RE: Lax2000

Sat Oct 21, 2000 7:58 am

George W?

George Washington?
 
747-451
Posts: 2327
Joined: Wed Oct 04, 2000 5:50 am

RE: Lax2000

Sat Oct 21, 2000 10:06 am

I would rather have a person who isn't polished (yet is genuine enough to make fun of his own foibles)rather than a socialist liberal grandiose liar, like Mr. "I invented the internet..." Gore.
 
Guest

RE: Al Gore... President To Be....

Sat Oct 21, 2000 2:32 pm

Very mature, LAX2000
 
Guest

RE: Al Gore... President To Be....

Sat Oct 21, 2000 2:44 pm

how's this for mature...

George W: uhhh, hey J. Danforth pull my finger...huh ha, huh ha...

J. Danforth: no way buttmunch, pull your own finger.

George W: uhhh, okay........cool! huh ha, huh ha, huh ha...


My apologies to Beavis & Butthead...didn't mean to demean you guys. 
 
XFSUgimpLB41X
Topic Author
Posts: 3960
Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2000 1:18 am

CstarU

Sun Oct 22, 2000 2:54 am

Sheesh...that has to be the most unfunny post ive seen on here... if youre going to try to make fun of someone at least do a good job of it.
Chicks dig winglets.
 
Guest

RE: XFSUgimpLB41X

Sun Oct 22, 2000 3:54 am

It's not suppose to be funny, it's suppose to be stupid like a lot of topics in this forum, such as this.


regards,

CfuckU  
 
User avatar
fanoftristars
Posts: 1544
Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2000 9:03 am

RE: Al Gore... President To Be....

Sun Oct 22, 2000 4:13 am

Al gore sounds like this:

The Govenor's plan differs greatly from mine--You see, under my plan, you can have your cake and eat it too. The sky can be green and blue at the same time. We can drill for oil and save the enviornment by not exploring for more oil. You can have lower taxes, lower decifit, better health care, more S.S. benefits, more welfare beneifts, bigger government, and me as your president.

Come on, AL, the entire american voteing public is not stupid! At least I hope they're not!
"FLY DELTA JETS"
 
VirginLover
Posts: 918
Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2000 8:46 am

RE: Al Gore... President To Be....

Sun Oct 22, 2000 11:14 am

:DD

Anyone see Saturday Night Live 2 weeks ago? "Lockbox" LOL  

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