OK, before people start saying stuff, yes I am having a dig at the Yanks here. Below is a story from the West Australian newspaper, and frankly, it makes me wonder what type of people actually read tripe such as Weekly World News, The National Enquirer, etc. And the answer can't be nobody does, because these "newspapers" (for want of a better word) are everywhere through-out America. I would hate to see just how much of the crap in these rags is believed.
Any comments peoples?
AN extremely disturbing report has been brought to our attention via the Weekly World News - "America's Most Exciting Newspaper!" (No, we haven't heard of it either, but then again we rarely buy newspapers from American supermarkets.)
The Weekly reveals how Jack Redford - "the man who inspired millions by getting his high school diploma at the age of 102" - has been exposed as a cheat. Seems old Jack hid notes in the hollow of his cane and sneaked a peek during his maths and history finals.
After five other students dobbed him in, his high school diploma was revoked. According to an anonymous family member, that decision left Jack the Lad, a retired sheep rancher, crushed.
Why so disturbing? Well, apparently it all took place in Dullsville, WA, according to reporter Randy Jeffries, who filed his story from Perth, Australia.
Randy wrote that Jack cheated at a place of learning called Harbor Secondary School, and that his lyin' and cheatin' was found out by one Alex Draper, superintendent of the West Australia School District.
Alex sounded a bit crushed himself. "The entire country was moved by what we thought was an inspiring story of man's ability to continue learning right up in to the later years of his life," he said.
Now, we hate to cast aspersions on the veracity of any newspaper story, let alone criticise a fellow hack for getting a few details wrongs. But frankly, Randy, this yarn's got more holes in it than a Palm Beach County ballot paper.
We were going to try to call one David Pecker, the World Weekly News head honcho, for a please explain, but we got distracted by another disturbing report in his organ: Swedish researchers have discovered a miracle pill which can turn homosexuals into heterosexuals - "in less than six months!" And vice versa.
Anyway, here's a message for Jack, Randy and Alex: fellas, if you haven't been abducted by aliens to start a new gay race on the Planet Vulcan - give us a call and let's get the Full Monty, OK?