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Hillarious Product Warnings

Mon Jan 22, 2001 4:38 am

Some will do anything to avoid lawsuits...take a look:

Take it from the labels: Don't eat rocks, drink toilet water
January 17, 2001
Web posted at: 8:34 PM EST (0134 GMT)

DETROIT (AP) -- Be warned: "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."

That label on a pair of shin guards beat out nearly 100 competitors Wednesday to win the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch's Wacky Warning Labels contest.

"I picked up the label and found it absolutely ridiculous," said Joe Schanderson, who won $500 for submitting the entry.

M-LAW, a nonprofit group formed in 1997, seeks to call attention to the effects of product-liability lawsuits. Contest winners were announced Wednesday after Michigan Talk Radio Network callers voted on five finalists two weeks ago.

Schanderson's find beat out a label affixed to a toilet inside a public restroom: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."

Other runners-up included:

-- "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft."

-- A warning on an electric router: "This product not intended for use as a dental drill."

-- A warning on a novelty rock garden set (called "Popcorn Rock"): "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth!"

Robert B. Dorigo Jones, M-LAW president, said many entries are discarded each year so as not to defeat an important message. Among those was a label printed on children's toothpaste instructing parents to keep the paste away from children.

"It's kind of funny on the surface, but we also know that if kids eat too much toothpaste, they can get sick," Dorigo Jones said.

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RE: Hillarious Product Warnings

Mon Jan 22, 2001 7:46 am

 Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile LOL
Give me a break, I created this username when I was a kid...
Posts: 3391
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2001 10:18 pm

RE: Hillarious Product Warnings

Mon Jan 22, 2001 5:55 pm

My favourite:

Instruction set for a Japanese Chef Knife Set:

"Keep out of children"
Posts: 857
Joined: Tue May 18, 1999 3:26 am

RE: Hillarious Product Warnings

Mon Jan 22, 2001 9:49 pm

Alleged instructions on a chainsaw:
"Do not apply cutting to any parts of the body, especially genitals".

On bottom side of packaging of a Marks&Spencer cake:
"Do not turn upside down"

On packet of nuts:
"WARNING: Contains nuts"

On a Poland-made beauty product:

In Russian: "Body toning cream for those who want to look slim"

In English: "Cream for breast-enlargement""

God, both those on THE SAME tube of cream!!!

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RE: Hillarious Product Warnings

Mon Jan 22, 2001 10:00 pm

Funny stuff guys!!
 Smile/happy/getting dizzy

anyone got anymore?
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RE: Hillarious Product Warnings

Mon Jan 22, 2001 10:05 pm

Not exactly a warning, but on a bag of crisps it said "What's in the bag?" . I hesitated to taste it since not even those who made it were sure about what was in it.

"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
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Joined: Tue May 18, 1999 3:26 am

RE: Hillarious Product Warnings

Mon Jan 22, 2001 10:15 pm

On a packet of Safeway chicken nuggets. There were pictures on the packaging of drawn funny monsters eating nuggets. So, on the front side you could read:

"Contains 40 nuggets. No monsters!"

Haha - and somebody would actually think there'd be monsters?

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Joined: Tue Jun 06, 2000 9:18 pm

RE: Hillarious Product Warnings

Tue Jan 23, 2001 12:09 am

In a US-built car manual:

- Be aware that everything that appears in the rear view mirror is ACTUALLY behind you.

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