Guest

You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Sun Feb 11, 2001 5:46 am

your stall warning horn plays "Dixie"
your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as check points
you've ever used moonshine as avgas
you have mud flaps on your wheel pants
you think GPS stands for going perfectly straight
your toothpick keeps poking your mike
you constantly confuse beechcraft with beechnut
just before inpact your heard saying "Hey yal, watch this"
you have a blach airplane with a big "3" on the side
you've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer
you use a Purina feed bag as a wind sock
you wouldn't be caught dead flying a Grumman "Yankee"
you refer to flying in formation as "We got ourselves a convoy"
there's a sign on the side of you aircraft advertising your septic tankservice.
You think sectional charts should show trailer parks.
You're matched set of luggage is three grocery bags from Piggly Wiggly.
You've ever fueled your airplane from a mason jar.
You've got a gun rack on the passenger window.
You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together.
Your preflight includes removing all of the clover, grass, and wheat from your landing gear.
You figure the weight of the mud and manure on your airplane into the CG calculations.
You siphon gas from your tractor to put in your airplane.
You've never landed at an actual airport though you've been flying for years.
You've ground looped after hitting a cow.
You consider anything over 100"AGL to be high altitude flight.
There are parts of your airplane labeled John Deere.
You've never actually seen a sectional but have all of the Texaco road maps for your flying area.
There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco stains on the left.
You have to buzz the strip to chase off the sheep and goats.
You use your parachute to cover your plane.
You've ever landed on the main street of town to get a cup of coffee.
The tread pattern, if any, on your main tires doesn't match.
Your primary comm. radio has 90 channels.
You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass.
You put hay in the baggage compartment so your dogs don't get cold.
Your flight instructor's day job is at the community sales barn.
You've got matching bumper stickers on the vertical fin.
There are grass stains on your propeller tips.
The FAA still thinks you live at your parents' house.
Your hangar collapses and more than 4 dogs are injured.
Somewhere on your airplane is an "I'd rather be fishing" bumper sticker.
You navigate with your ADF tuned to exclusively country stations.
When you go to the airport cafe they hand you biscuits and gravy instead of a menu.
You think that an ultralight is a new sissy beer from Budweiser.
Just before the crash, everybody at the airport heard you say, "Hey, y'all watch this!!
 
Guest

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Sun Feb 11, 2001 6:29 am

Jetpilot how many of these do you do?  Big grin
Iain
 
twa
Posts: 819
Joined: Sun Sep 19, 2010 10:59 pm

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Sun Feb 11, 2001 6:59 am

Hahahahahaha, This is soooo funny!!! Lets hear some more.

TWA
 
blink182
Posts: 5272
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 1999 3:09 am

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Sun Feb 11, 2001 7:04 am

Your probably a redneck if your christmas tree is still out in February- Jeff Foxworthy.
All of those are funny! Big grin Big grin Big grin
rgds,
blink182
Give me a break, I created this username when I was a kid...
 
RealHigh
Posts: 924
Joined: Sun Jul 02, 2000 7:09 am

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Sun Feb 11, 2001 7:29 am

 Laugh out loud  Laugh out loud  Laugh out loud

Those are real funny!

That almost sounds like a Dg_pilot!
LOL Laugh out loud
 
L-188
Posts: 29874
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 1999 11:27 am

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Sun Feb 11, 2001 7:39 am

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

If you have ever bragged about the new Goodyear "Mudripper" tires on you aircraft. Then you might be a redneck.
OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
 
Guest

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Sun Feb 11, 2001 7:47 am

As a child your nick was DG_pilot....

lol

mb
 
XFSUgimpLB41X
Posts: 3960
Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2000 1:18 am

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Sun Feb 11, 2001 8:06 am

If you have one of those Airbus/Boeing Calvin's peeing on Airbus/Boeing logo stickers on your window.




Speaking of this....man those cropduster pilots are psycho's....i see them ducking under powerlines and all kinda of crap all the time. They have some skills.
Chicks dig winglets.
 
Guest

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Sun Feb 11, 2001 8:24 am

I asked a CFI about becoming a crop duster and he said, to be a crop duster you need your commercial and balls the size of coconuts!!
Iain
 
Guest

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Sun Feb 11, 2001 8:29 am

My groudschool instructor also talked us about Cropduster and he said these pilot really had guts big time! Flying so low and doing very steep turns at low altitudes.

Nicolas
 
Superfly
Posts: 37735
Joined: Thu May 11, 2000 8:01 am

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Sun Feb 11, 2001 8:56 am

You pass out chewing tobacco on your flights instead of pretzels.  Smile
Bring back the Concorde
 
L-188
Posts: 29874
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 1999 11:27 am

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Sun Feb 11, 2001 5:38 pm

Got another one.....

If your airplane is built from parts leftover from more then three airplane wrecks.
OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
 
Superfly
Posts: 37735
Joined: Thu May 11, 2000 8:01 am

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Sun Feb 11, 2001 6:01 pm

You have Bush/Cheney bumper stickers on your wings and a confederate flag on the tail.
LOL  Laugh out loud
Bring back the Concorde
 
An-225
Posts: 3859
Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2000 2:55 am

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Fri Feb 16, 2001 11:43 am

...If your name is George W Bush Big grin
Money does not bring you happiness. But it's better to cry in your own private limo than on a cold bus stop.
 
Guest

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Fri Feb 16, 2001 12:09 pm

.......You've ever flown into FSD.
 
DG_pilot
Posts: 810
Joined: Tue Sep 07, 1999 10:21 am

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Fri Feb 16, 2001 12:34 pm

--If you have ever raped a dingo...oops, what a minute, that is called being Australian....

-Dustin
 
us330
Posts: 3407
Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2000 7:00 am

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Fri Feb 16, 2001 1:37 pm

No offense to the Aussies, seeing how I don't agree with his statement, but, DG Pilot, may I say that was great! I laughed so hard that I almost hyperventilated.
 
DG_pilot
Posts: 810
Joined: Tue Sep 07, 1999 10:21 am

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Fri Feb 16, 2001 1:40 pm

Glad you enjoyed some of my humor. I just couldn't resist it....

-Dustin

 
DeltaRNOmd-80
Posts: 1979
Joined: Sat May 13, 2000 7:42 am

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Fri Feb 16, 2001 1:44 pm

I dont think they even have to rape the dingos-- Hell, when they see Brissie or Mx5_Boy running after them anymore, they just give up.
 
DG_pilot
Posts: 810
Joined: Tue Sep 07, 1999 10:21 am

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Fri Feb 16, 2001 1:47 pm

LOL!!!!!
 
Guest

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Fri Feb 16, 2001 1:51 pm

Thats some funny sh**t!!!!!!
 
Guest

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Fri Feb 16, 2001 1:56 pm

Don't be silly Dusty Wusty, no-body rapes dingo's, didn't you know they EAT people...?... Tsk Tsk.

Deltadoll,

Just coz the kids at school told you to run down the street with suasages around your neck so maybe the dogs would play with you....

lol

(I lurve your kreepy photo's.. ruff ruff)

lol

mb (*Dusty that was amusing!*)

 
L-188
Posts: 29874
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 1999 11:27 am

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Sat Feb 17, 2001 1:59 am

If you are upset Holly and Edelbrock(Spelling??) don't make accessories for your Lycoming O-235


OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
 
L-188
Posts: 29874
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 1999 11:27 am

RE: You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...

Sat Feb 17, 2001 2:00 am

Your airplane is painted with the same sparkly paint that they used on your brand new bass boat.
OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.

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