Topic Author
Posts: 2280
Joined: Wed Mar 08, 2000 9:22 am

Funny QF Thing:

Thu Feb 15, 2001 1:39 pm

My dad e-mailed this to me (He's also an aviation fan, and an Northwest fan).
Here are some actual maintenance complaints/problems, generally known as squawks, recently submitted by QANTAS pilots to maintenance engineers.

After attending to the squawks, maintainance crews are required to log the details of the action taken to solve the pilots' squawks.

(P-The problem logged by the pilot)
(S-The solution and action taken by the engineers)

P-Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement
S-Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P-Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S-Autoland not equipped on this aircraft.

P-No. 2 propellor seeping some fluid
S-No. 2 propellor seepage nominal- Nos 1,3,4 propellors lack normal seepage.

P-Something loose in cockpit
S-Something tightened in cockpit

P-Dead bugs on windscreen
S-Live bugs on backorder

P-Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces 200 fpm decent rate
S-Cannot reproduce problem on ground

P-Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
S-Evidence removed

P-DME volumeunbelievably loud
S-Volume set to more believable level

P-Friction locks cause throttles to stick
S-That's what they are there for!

P-IFF inoperative
S-IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

P-Suspected crack in windscreen
S-Suspect you're right

P-Number 3 engine missing
S-Engine found on right wing after brief search

P-Aircraft handles funny
S-Aircraft warned to "Straighten up, Fly Right, and Be Serious."

P-Target radar hums
S-Reprogrammed target radar with words

P-Mouse in cockpit
S-Cat installed
LOL!  Smile

Get your patchouli stink outta my store!
Posts: 6706
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2000 12:08 pm

RE: Funny QF Thing:

Thu Feb 15, 2001 1:41 pm

hahahaha, that's good Smile

 Smile Tzvika
NO URLS in signature
Posts: 4251
Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2000 9:58 am

RE: Funny QF Thing:

Thu Feb 15, 2001 1:45 pm

Very funny Smile.

Aaron G.
Posts: 4688
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2000 4:30 pm

RE: Funny QF Thing:

Thu Feb 15, 2001 1:59 pm

Loved it...espescially "almost replaced tyre"  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Posts: 673
Joined: Sun Jun 11, 2000 12:25 pm

RE: Funny QF Thing:

Thu Feb 15, 2001 10:55 pm

hehehe  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

thats pretty funny

Perth, Australia
Posts: 3399
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2001 10:18 pm

RE: Funny QF Thing:

Thu Feb 15, 2001 11:11 pm

Just brilliant! I can't stop laughing! Probably the funniest humor post in ages!
Victor Hotel
Posts: 289
Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2000 8:29 pm

RE: Funny QF Thing:

Thu Feb 15, 2001 11:21 pm

Very Amusing indeed.
Posts: 858
Joined: Tue May 18, 1999 3:26 am

RE: Funny QF Thing:

Thu Feb 15, 2001 11:31 pm

Haha.... I especially liked the:

P-Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
S-Evidence removed

P-DME volume unbelievably loud
S-Volume set to more believable level

Posts: 11676
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2000 2:03 am

RE: Funny QF Thing:

Thu Feb 15, 2001 11:54 pm

I think their very funny, but I'v heared them before here on not too long ago.

"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
Posts: 5315
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 1999 3:09 am

RE: Funny QF Thing:

Sat Feb 17, 2001 12:39 am

Give me a break, I created this username when I was a kid...

RE: Funny QF Thing:

Sun Feb 18, 2001 5:44 am

LOLOL  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

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