teahan
Posts: 4993
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 1999 11:18 pm

So You Want To Be An Airline PILOT.........

Sun Mar 11, 2001 11:04 pm

Hey,

This was posted on PPRUNE. Definitely made me laught!

Here is a "Home Study Simulator Course" designed for those who hunger for the "romance" and "adventure" of piloting a large commercial airliner.

1. Stay out of bed all night.

2. Sit in your most uncomfortable chair, in a closet, for nine or ten hours facing a four foot wide panoramic photo of a flight deck.

3. Have two or three noisy vacuum cleaners on high, out of sight but within hearing distance and operating throughout the night.
If a vacuum cleaner fails, do the appropriate restart checklist.

4. Halfway through your nocturnal simulator course, arrange for a bright spotlight to shine directly into your face for two or three hours, simulating an eastbound flight into the sunrise.

5. Have bland overcooked food served on a tray midway through the night.

6. Have cold cups of coffee delivered from time to time. Ask your spouse to slam the door frequently.

7. At the time when you must heed nature's call, force yourself to stand outside the bathroom door for at least ten minutes, transferring your weight from leg to leg, easing the discomfort. Don't forget to wear your hat.

8. Leave the closet after the prescribed nine or ten hours, turn on your sprinklers and stand out in the cold and "rain" for twenty minutes, just like waiting for the hotel van.

9. Head for your bedroom, wet and with your suitcase and flight bag. Stand outside the door till your wife gets up and leaves, simulating the wait you'd have while the maid makes up the hotel room.

10. When your spouse inquires, "Just what in the hell have you been doing?" just say, "practicing the allure of all night flying to romantic places" and collapse into bed.

11. Lay awake for several hours listening to a recording of airplanes departing and arriving. Add ice machine and elevator noises intermittently with the vacuum sweeper banging into your bedroom door. Play the TV in the next room as loud as it will go. Sleep fitfully for 3 hours, get up.

12. Shower in cold water.

13. Pay $30 for a bagel and a cup of coffee.

14. If you are a purist, do this three nights in a row.

 Laugh out loud

Kind Regards,
Jeremiah Teahan

So how about an aviation humour forum?
Goodbye SR-LX MD-11 / 6th of March 1991 to the 31st of October 2004
 
Guest

RE: So You Want To Be An Airline PILOT.........

Sun Mar 11, 2001 11:08 pm

I have posted that on Jetcareers a long time ago!
Iain
 
teahan
Posts: 4993
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 1999 11:18 pm

RE: So You Want To Be An Airline PILOT.........

Sun Mar 11, 2001 11:16 pm

Hey,

Ianin, this is not JetCarees is it? This is Airliners.net and it wasn't posted here yet!

Kind Regards,
Jeremiah Teahan
Goodbye SR-LX MD-11 / 6th of March 1991 to the 31st of October 2004
 
Guest

RE: So You Want To Be An Airline PILOT.........

Sun Mar 11, 2001 11:29 pm

It actually was as that is where I got it from! It is somewhere in the civil aviation board, probably about 6-8 weeks ago!
Iain
 
USAFHummer
Posts: 10261
Joined: Thu May 18, 2000 12:22 pm

RE: So You Want To Be An Airline PILOT.........

Mon Mar 12, 2001 12:03 am

Teahan,

Iain is right...I remember seeing this here a while back...nonetheless its still funny!

Greg
Chief A.net college football stadium self-pic guru
 
Guest

RE: So You Want To Be An Airline PILOT.........

Mon Mar 12, 2001 1:31 am


Who the heck cares !!!!
I enjoyed it anway.
Thanks for the post Jeremiah !

B737-700
 
Guest

RE: So You Want To Be An Airline PILOT.........

Mon Mar 12, 2001 9:11 am

I have been sensing some tension between Iain and Teahan lately.

Oh well,

that is pretty funny, 1st time i have seen it!
 
teahan
Posts: 4993
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 1999 11:18 pm

RE: So You Want To Be An Airline PILOT.........

Mon Mar 12, 2001 9:38 am

Hey,

Iainhol, I can't see every thread that is posted here. I can't spend 24 hours on this site opening every thread, can I? I have bioligical needs like having to get some sleep etc.. and psycological needs like getting an education etc... If you don't like it, don't read it!

Derek H, yes I guess there is a bit of tension. I wonder why???? Maybe the difference between the European opinion and the American opinion. I don't know.

KInd Regards,
Jeremiah Teahan
Goodbye SR-LX MD-11 / 6th of March 1991 to the 31st of October 2004
 
Guest

RE: So You Want To Be An Airline PILOT.........

Mon Mar 12, 2001 9:58 am

Jeremiah - I nevre suggested that, the reason I posted that is because you have done the same to me! Although this weekend we have not agreed on too much, I still give you respect, and hope all the best for you. It is very easy to fire back and fourth via PC however I am sure if we meet, we would have a great time spotting!
Iain
 
teahan
Posts: 4993
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 1999 11:18 pm

RE: So You Want To Be An Airline PILOT.........

Mon Mar 12, 2001 10:02 am

Hey,

Iain, I definitely still give you respect too. Well that is minus that fish post, but it was funny in its own way  Laugh out loud. Yes, I definitely agree on the last 2 lines.

Anyway it is 1AM here in Ireland, goodnight.

KInd Regards,
Jeremiah Teahan
Goodbye SR-LX MD-11 / 6th of March 1991 to the 31st of October 2004
 
XFSUgimpLB41X
Posts: 3961
Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2000 1:18 am

RE: So You Want To Be An Airline PILOT.........

Mon Mar 12, 2001 10:26 am

Haha..well i first posted it a couple months ago...this is about the 3 time since. But, hey, i still laugh at it.  Big grin
Chicks dig winglets.

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