Matt D
Topic Author
Posts: 8907
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 1999 6:00 am

It's Better To Be A Man....

Tue May 01, 2001 12:38 pm

Shared with me via a co-worker......

It's great to be a man because .....

Your ass is never a factor in a job

Your orgasms are real. Always.

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

You never feel compelled to stop a friend
from getting laid.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's ass if someone
notices your new haircut.

Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

Wrinkles add character.

A few well placed one night stands gain
credibility, not leave you tarnished.

You don't have to leave the room to make
emergency crotch adjustments.

People never glance at your chest when
you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is
practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle
your feet.

Porn movies are designed with you in mind.

Not liking a person does not preclude
having great sex with them.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you
with "So, notice anything different?"

You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.

A five-day vacation requires only one

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob
you blind.

You can go to a public toilet without a
support group.

You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act
of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to
something, he or she can still be our friend.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the
passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean your appartment if
the electricity meter reader is coming.

You can sit in silence watching a football
game with your friend for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad
at me."

You don't mooch off other's desserts.

You can drop by to see a friend without
having to bring a little gift.

If another guy shows up at the party in
the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

You are not expected to know the names of
more than five colors.

You don't have to stop and think of which
way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one
color, all seasons.

You can "do" your nails with a

You have freedom of choice concerning
growing a moustache.

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for
25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

Same job ..... more pay.

The world is your urinal.
Posts: 680
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 5:02 pm

RE: It's Better To Be A Man....

Tue May 01, 2001 1:27 pm


some of that is cute, some is dumb.

I love America. I guess that makes me Bush's poodle, but I'd rather be a dog in New York City than a prince in Riyadh.
American B757
Posts: 349
Joined: Mon Jul 19, 1999 11:19 am

RE: It's Better To Be A Man....

Tue May 01, 2001 1:30 pm

I really liked that, very funny!
Posts: 3859
Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2000 2:55 am

RE: It's Better To Be A Man....

Tue May 01, 2001 1:51 pm

Don't you just love being a man? Now Matt D, post something about women.
Money does not bring you happiness. But it's better to cry in your own private limo than on a cold bus stop.

RE: It's Better To Be A Man....

Tue May 01, 2001 3:19 pm

Funny because its all true.
Posts: 3961
Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2000 1:18 am

RE: It's Better To Be A Man....

Tue May 01, 2001 3:39 pm

Got that one in an email a few months ago.... but it just gets funnier every time i read it...and yes, funny cuz it's true.
Chicks dig winglets.
Posts: 1461
Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2007 12:38 pm

RE: It's Better To Be A Man....

Tue May 01, 2001 10:55 pm

>>>The occasional well-rendered belch is
practically expected.<<<

Oh yeah. I live with four other guys. We start to wonder what's wrong with you if we haven't heard you belch for a while. (We also make fun of you if it was a weak belch.)
Jack @ AUS

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