Matt D
Topic Author
Posts: 8907
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 1999 6:00 am

Marriage: When Is It Right?

Wed May 09, 2001 1:53 am

Before I even get into this, let me just point out that this post is meant ONLY for those select few of us that actually still believe in marriage. So, sorry to shut out most of you Euro folks. I know that you look at marriage with all the excitement of getting a used 8-track tape in your Christmas Stocking.....assuming of course- you still celebrate Christmas, or whatever gift giving holiday you have over there.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

Guys (and ladies):

At what age do you think marriage is ideal?
18? 21? 25? 27? 30? 33? 133?

Or do you feel that in todays materialistic, and self-centered society, that maybe the Europeans are onto something more practical-namely the abolition of marriage-even though your heart sinks when you think of it?
Why do you feel the way you do?

On a related note, what is up with todays young girls? It seems that so many of them have gotten their life sequences out of order.
A generation ago, it usually went something like this:

High School
College
Party
Marriage
Kids
Career
----------
For many women, it ended there. But for some, the sequence continued like this:

Divorce
Party
Re-marriage
Another kid or two
Divorce


Now, I look around me, and it seems like todays ladies do things in a bit of a different sequence. Usually, this is how it goes now:

High school
party
kids
party
marriage
party
divorce
party
more kids
party
re-marriage
party
even more kids
party
divorce
college
party
still more kids

All by the time they are 25.

Career usually doesn't become a priority until 30 or 35, although there are still some out there who expect to be trillionares, have offices in 44 countries, no less than 17 private jets, and a permanent fixture on the cover of Forbes, Fortune, and Money all by the time they are 21. What's up with THAT?
What's up with that?

ALthough I don't know anyone that can prove me right or wrong on this, the impression I get is that these ladies seem as determined as possible to 1. Have their children as young as is biologically possible, and 2. Don't want a husband or boyfriend (unless it's to get money out of him) and 3. Be at a loss to explain why that when they finally do want to settle down by the time they are in their late 20's or early 30's, no guy will touch them.

I don't suppose that the wreckless years from 16-X, where you have been plugged more times than a leaky faucett, have 5 kids, none of which have the same father, you've been to divorce court no fewer than three times, and you have no clue what it means to be a decent partner, wife, or whatever you want to call it have anything to do with it?

In the eyes of us guys at that age (I am 27), you are seen as "used", a "liability", "having too much baggage", and a whole host of other negatives.
 
L-188
Posts: 29881
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 1999 11:27 am

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Wed May 09, 2001 2:02 am

Marriage has been a losing proposition for guys, a long long long time now.

Avoid it at all costs.

If your lucky you only end up losing half of your stuff. Depending on your state laws it can be a lot lot lot more.
OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
 
Guest

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Wed May 09, 2001 2:07 am

Really I don't see why your post should be restricted to those who only belive in marriage.
Now is your questionning really on how old should a person be to get married or why some girls are sluts?
Really it's 2 totally differents things so please try to clarify.

Once again you go into huge generalization assuming that today's most ladies just screw, have kids, party, marriage, divorce, screw ...ect. You're totally out of the track Matt, maybe you watched Jerry Springer a bit too much, look at the real world! IT IS not what you think it is. Well actually part of what you describe is true but on a very small scale, very few girls are like that.

Nicolas
 
CactusA319
Posts: 2822
Joined: Fri Jan 21, 2000 1:51 am

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Wed May 09, 2001 6:12 am


To answer your first question, I'd go with after 25. That's when I thought I'd get married but the girl I thought would be the one dumped me on my ass so now I'm back to Square One and I've sworn off serious relationships for a while. So it looks like I'll be 30 when I tie the knot. Maybe.
 
Schoenorama
Posts: 2305
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2001 5:15 am

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Wed May 09, 2001 8:05 am

Being European, I don't know why I even bother to write you this, but what the heck, here I go:

In your somewhat confusing topic-body you write: "Now, I look around me, and it seems like todays ladies do things in a bit of a different sequence.
Usually, this is how it goes now:

High school
party
kids
party
marriage
party
divorce
party"
etc.

I'd just like to remind you that it still takes two people, a man and a woman, to have kids, so I don't think its fair to blame it all on the "ladies"when they get pregnant.
It seems to me that, in your eyes, when a young single male sleeps around and has sex with different girls just for the sex, there is nothing wrong, while, on the other hand, the girl or girls in question are sluts.

As for marriage, the only advice I can give you is to marry the girl you really love, regardless the "baggage" she brings along.

Oh, and by the way, I agree with Nicolaki: don't watch Jerry Springer too much, better still, don't watch him at all!
Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
 
Guest

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Wed May 09, 2001 8:32 am

Times have changed greatly since I did the marriage and kids thang. If I had my time over again, don't know if I would be marrying at all, and if I did, it would be much later.

If you are a career person, it makes sense to have your children later. Why would you go through years of a degree, to have kids soon after graduating? What a waste.

I married early, but that was the hapenning thang back then.

Both my girls are expressing a desire to marry "later." Why would you marry early and effectively take yourself off the market?

Sorta like getting 'exclusive' with a guy way too soon, if at all. Sorta like the jerks who want to be exclusive from date1. **** orf.

I'm anti marriage, and would NEVA do it again. But what my kids wanna do, and everyone else wants to do, is their own business.

Works for some.

Ideall marriage age would be 30. Not before.

Just my 2c.



 
An-225
Posts: 3859
Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2000 2:55 am

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Wed May 09, 2001 8:53 am

I am very anti-marriage. I do not see the point. If two people love each other, I do not think that they need a paper or some church to make it official to hundreds of people. If people do want to marry, they should sit down, think and talk a lot about it.

Institution of marriage should be abolished.
Money does not bring you happiness. But it's better to cry in your own private limo than on a cold bus stop.
 
SophieMaltese
Posts: 2023
Joined: Sat Feb 17, 2001 2:08 pm

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Wed May 09, 2001 12:19 pm

Well, if that sequence is right I guess i'm a weirdo. My life is more like:

highschool
party
college
engagement
single again until I'm SURE I can spend the rest of my life with a person (that's a BIG committment!)
work
school
work
school
work
school...
NO KIDS!
 
An-225
Posts: 3859
Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2000 2:55 am

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Wed May 09, 2001 4:09 pm

Yeah, screw the kids. They whine and cost too much  Big grin
Money does not bring you happiness. But it's better to cry in your own private limo than on a cold bus stop.
 
GunFighter 6
Posts: 401
Joined: Fri Jan 19, 2001 6:05 pm

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Wed May 09, 2001 4:17 pm

You have a serious problem matt with all your prejudices about europeans.

I think because you live so far away from europe you have developed some sort of attitude about it.
I think Europe is a continent you wish you had been born cause all the fancy thing are possible there.

you take care.
 
Guest

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Wed May 09, 2001 4:35 pm

Marriage is like a tornado, begins with a "blow" and soon after your house is gone !

But I have to confess, that I am very, very happily married (the house still stands!)  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

Marian
 
RealHigh
Posts: 924
Joined: Sun Jul 02, 2000 7:09 am

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Wed May 09, 2001 4:52 pm

Well said Marian Siegert!

Matt D
You sound like a very disturbed man. I hope the best for you. You are probably tucked away sleeping alone as usual tonight as I type this post.
There is no right or wrong age to get married if you choose to do so. Everyone's star shines at a different time in there life. It doesn't matter if they are 18, 22, 26, 30, or even 40. People shouldn't all follow the beat of the same drum.
I think you are putting too much value on marrage Madd D.
You need to lighten up or get out more.
Ask a girl out for a change.

 Smile
 
Matt D
Topic Author
Posts: 8907
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 1999 6:00 am

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Thu May 10, 2001 2:24 pm

RealHigh:

hey cupcake...

No need to rub it in. Just because you are getting plugged every night does not give you carte blanche to make fun of a 27 year old like me who has never woken up next to someone his entire life.

Or does it?

Well, never mind.....it was worth a shot.


Otherwise, good point.
 
ryanb741
Posts: 5058
Joined: Thu Mar 28, 2002 6:36 pm

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Thu May 10, 2001 10:28 pm

I married my wife straight after graduating from University (at age 21). We don't plan to have kids until our thirties, so the priority is on enjoying being young at the moment. So my life cycle has been thus:


School
University
Marriage
Career
Party

with the kids to come at a later date. A MUCH later date..... Smile
I used to think the brain is the most fascinating part of my body. But, hey, who is telling me that?
 
Guest

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Fri May 11, 2001 2:29 am

I am going through a divorce right now, and let me tell you, it is anything but pleasant.

It cost me $10,000 just to get started (retainer) and if you think my attorney is going to use up anything less than a penny of it...well, you are sadly mistaken.

When all is said and done, my wife is going to have a big chunk of my income, 50% of the equity in our home, and a portion of my retirement. I am looking at $50k just to get this whole thing taken care of.

If it sounds like I am putting a price tag on this...I am. I have to lock out the emotional aspects of what this is doing to my two kids...the emotional price is far greater.

She stood behind me in the past, but it is REALLY difficult being married to an airline pilot. It is really difficult for an airline pilot to be married to a successful, career minded individual.

Marriage is an expensive and sacred vow. Don't think that it is anything to rush into. It ain't no party either.
 
Oz777
Posts: 516
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2000 9:48 am

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Fri May 11, 2001 10:23 am

To all of you who think of putting off having your kids until you are 40, two things.

Your kids will still be at home when you are in you wheel chair (and there will be nobody to push you atround in the wheel cahir because they will be out partying)

Two: You will not get the joy of spoiling your grandkids and then giving them back to their parents!! (Like a great way to pay back all the grief your kids caused you!!)
Oz777
 
RealHigh
Posts: 924
Joined: Sun Jul 02, 2000 7:09 am

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Fri May 11, 2001 11:42 am

Dc-9capt:
You made a very good point and I hope a lot of people here listen to your advise. It's mostly young guys here so they aren't really thinking about it. Two successful, career minded individuals need to decide if they are going to be parents or successful, career minded individuals.

I think too many people emphasize marrage more than what marrage is all about. So many people aspire to have a career, wife/husband, house in the suburbs, 2 kids, SUV and a dog.
There is nothing wrong with that goal, but it doesn't work for everyone.

Matt D
>Just because you are getting plugged every night does not give you carte blanche to make fun of a 27 year old like me who has never woken up next to someone his entire life.

Your funny! Big grin
You may want to try 'getting plugged' every night!
You might enjoy it! Big grin

BTW, you must think I am sweet if your calling me 'cupcake'!  Wink/being sarcastic

 
Canada Mike
Posts: 140
Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2001 3:13 pm

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Fri May 11, 2001 11:56 am

My cousin and his girlfriend lived together for four years and had been going out for six. True love if ever there was. So, the call comes, and mom and I go flying out to Ottawa for a September wedding. And they lived happily ever after.




Or, not. By April, they were legally separated and she was two months pregnant. She also went from being the nicest person anyone had ever met to being the absolute psycho-bitch from hell. When their son was born, she moved to from London, Ont., back to Ottawa just to keep my cousin and the baby apart. She actually moved back in with her parents (who she hates) just to be vindictive. She also went screaming to her lawyer about how she wanted full custody with no visitation and all about poor little single mother her, she needs an outrageous portion of his wages to support the baby. Hah! Yeah, right. She has a cushy job with the Ontario Provincial Police and her parents are dumping money on her like there's no tomorrow.

This really opened my eyes as to what marriage really is. And with the divorce rate over 50% and climbing, that doesn't seem like good odds to me.

I had planned to have a wife and two kids. Now I'm thinking a career, a lot of friends, and a fish.

Cheers
Canada Mike
canada_mike77@hotmail.com
 
c72
Posts: 745
Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2006 9:19 am

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Fri May 11, 2001 12:11 pm

Do you all think that the best thing about kids is making them?
 
SophieMaltese
Posts: 2023
Joined: Sat Feb 17, 2001 2:08 pm

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Fri May 11, 2001 12:25 pm

A lot of people get married because they want to be married and think it's the thing to do. The rest of your life is a long, long, long time. Be careful who you chose to spend it with.

I guess I always thought of the woman getting screwed in the divorce thing but now am seeing the other side of it after reading what DC9capt has to say. I always pictured the man going off to leave a wife with the kids to raise on a low income while he buys himself a Porsche to toodle around in with his newer younger girlfriend.
 
ryanb741
Posts: 5058
Joined: Thu Mar 28, 2002 6:36 pm

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Fri May 11, 2001 5:23 pm

I just think that you can't put a number on the right time to get married. I am a career-minded individual who got married relatively early, but that was because I found someone I knew 100% I could spend the rest of my life with. Too many people get to their thirties and through pressure from friends and family worry about not being married and so walk up the aisle with the first person they get hold of. Result, high divorce rates.

Also, if you're worried about losing all your money in alimony settlements, why don't you just sign a pre-nuptial agreement?
I used to think the brain is the most fascinating part of my body. But, hey, who is telling me that?
 
L-188
Posts: 29881
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 1999 11:27 am

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Fri May 11, 2001 8:03 pm

Somebody I knew once gave me that exact same advice Ryanb741.

I don't know if you want to go in to something like that with such low expectations though.
OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
 
Aussiemite
Posts: 846
Joined: Sat Jun 24, 2000 12:04 am

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Fri May 11, 2001 8:52 pm

When your to old to pickup.

Im a big supporter of teenage sex however I have a great future and one think I cant afford is a kid. Thats why I choose anal sex, I mean comeon I still get off (and the anus is tighter).
 
Matt D
Topic Author
Posts: 8907
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 1999 6:00 am

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Sat May 12, 2001 1:10 am

RealHigh:

Hey cupcake:

Listen, first of all, at 27, it's tough to state with any accuracy just how difficult it is to make it through any public outing-especially on a friday or saturday night and every woman I manage to make eye contact with (even before I say a word to her) gives me that "look" that I've seen way too many times:

"No fu**ing way"

Or:

"Where is the bathroom? I need to regurgitate my last three meals".

I mean I know I'm hardly Playgirl material, but at the same time, no mirrors have cracked when I looked at them  Smile

As for getting plugged every night, no offense, but I'd rather be the one DOING said plugging, if you catch my drift.

(although your suggestion is starting to look better and better, with each passing day, just as a means of ending the perpetual "dry spell")  Smile  Big grin  Smile/happy/getting dizzy Big grin Embarrassment
 
JAL
Posts: 3876
Joined: Sun Apr 30, 2000 12:37 pm

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Sat May 12, 2001 5:23 am

Whenever a person is ready.
Work Hard But Play Harder
 
Superfly
Posts: 37735
Joined: Thu May 11, 2000 8:01 am

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Sun May 13, 2001 8:00 am

Matt D
You are not the problem!

LA WOMEN SUCK! ! ! ! ! !

I repeat!

LA WOMEN SUCK! ! ! ! ! !

Climbout is an exception because she comes here to Airliners.net!.  Big thumbs up

Living in Covina has everything to do with it!
I used to live down there and I was lucky if I got the time of day from a girl. However when I borrowed my sisters Range Rover last time I visited, suddenly women knew me. They were going out of their way to be nice to me and introduce themselves to me.
I can understand all buddies in Glendora, Arcadia and Pasadena got married before 21 years of age. The rest of us got the hell out of Dodge!
I guess living in a city were 40% of the guys are gay has it's advantages!  Smile

LA women are the epidomy(sp) of what's wrong with women today. They are so materialist, drug addicted legal drugs that is, fake, phony, and just no damn good!  Pissed

To answer the question of your topic:
It's best to get married when you can't imagine yourself with anyone else. You've been around and tasted many fruits and you are content with the one your with. If a women will stand beside you even when things are tuff, that's a pretty good indicator.

Good luck Matt!  Smile  Smile  Smile
Bring back the Concorde
 
Guest

RE: Marriage: When Is It Right?

Fri May 18, 2001 8:07 am

I storngly belive in marriege. Although I'm 16, I DO very much want kids and a loving wife someday. I was raised in a family that believes in love, marriage, and children. And yes, children can be a pain, and yes, they are expensive, and yes, they do spoil, BUT there is always the knowledge that you have planted your seed and that when you're gone, you will live on in your children. I can imagine no greater feeling in the world than knowing that I created something, SOMEONE. And in the remote event I ever do have sex before marriage, I won't be the kind of jerk that leaves the girl, no, no, I'll stay with her and MARRY HER!!

Sorry, I know most of you don't believe in marriage, and for good reason, too. But here, where I live, you don't half half the problems you do on the mainland, women are more like women, and families still have values.  Big thumbs up

I'm sorry that bad things happen to good people. But we all learn something from it. And each person is different.
I would have to say marriage is right when you know the person inside and out, all their sore spots, tings that make them happy, dark experiences in their lives, memories and secrets. When you know the person and love them in such a way that you KNOW it will last. That's when its right.

Aloha 737-200

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: akiss20, Flighty, fr8mech and 16 guests

Popular Searches On Airliners.net

Top Photos of Last:   24 Hours  •  48 Hours  •  7 Days  •  30 Days  •  180 Days  •  365 Days  •  All Time

Military Aircraft Every type from fighters to helicopters from air forces around the globe

Classic Airliners Props and jets from the good old days

Flight Decks Views from inside the cockpit

Aircraft Cabins Passenger cabin shots showing seat arrangements as well as cargo aircraft interior

Cargo Aircraft Pictures of great freighter aircraft

Government Aircraft Aircraft flying government officials

Helicopters Our large helicopter section. Both military and civil versions

Blimps / Airships Everything from the Goodyear blimp to the Zeppelin

Night Photos Beautiful shots taken while the sun is below the horizon

Accidents Accident, incident and crash related photos

Air to Air Photos taken by airborne photographers of airborne aircraft

Special Paint Schemes Aircraft painted in beautiful and original liveries

Airport Overviews Airport overviews from the air or ground

Tails and Winglets Tail and Winglet closeups with beautiful airline logos