Matt D
Topic Author
Posts: 8907
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 1999 6:00 am

What O You Consider Cheating?

Sun Jun 03, 2001 11:42 pm

Ok folks, let's take a moment and do what Clinton couldn't (or wouldn't) do, and define what "is" is.

What do you consider to be the threshold of "cheating", and "infidelity on your significant other, from both yours and your Others standpoint? (my post applies to male/female relationships only, although I invite folks of Other Persuasions to answer with respect to how these lines apply to them as well)


So: what level must you reach before YOU consider yourself having been unfaithful?

What level will you consider it cheating on you by your significant other?

Acts shown to be perpetrated between you and someone OTHER than your wife/girlfriend/fiance/boyfriend/husband

Likewise for aforementioned people above to participate in with someone OTHER than you

A: Hugging
B: Holding hands
C: Kiss on cheeks
D: Kiss on lips (no tongue)
E: Kiss on lips (with tongue)
F: Groping (clothed)
G: Groping (unclothed)
H: Oral gratification
H1: receiving
H2: giving
H3: both giving and receiving
I: "back door" intercourse
J: "protected" "front door" intercourse
K: "unprotected" "front door" intercourse


 
KROC
Posts: 18919
Joined: Mon May 08, 2000 11:19 am

RE: What O You Consider Cheating?

Mon Jun 04, 2001 12:38 am

I think what I consider cheating, and what the next person considers cheating, and so on will always differ. I think all that matters is how good a lawyer you got, or your soon to be 'ex' has, and who they can convince what cheating is.
 
An-225
Posts: 3859
Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2000 2:55 am

RE: What O You Consider Cheating?

Mon Jun 04, 2001 12:50 am

I think that cheating would start with kissing on the lips with tongue.
Money does not bring you happiness. But it's better to cry in your own private limo than on a cold bus stop.
 
Guest

RE: What O You Consider Cheating?

Mon Jun 04, 2001 12:58 am

What O You Consider Cheating?

Getting caught.
 
SophieMaltese
Posts: 2023
Joined: Sat Feb 17, 2001 2:08 pm

RE: What O You Consider Cheating?

Mon Jun 04, 2001 1:44 am

I think if your significant other wouldn't like you doing it, it's cheating. It's all in the intent. I wouldn't consider hugging cheating, or a peck on the cheek, but anything beyond that and you're crossing a line. If you wouldn't do it with your same sex (or opposite sex if you're gay) friend, then it's cheating.
 
LHMark
Posts: 7048
Joined: Fri Jan 21, 2000 2:18 am

RE: What O You Consider Cheating?

Mon Jun 04, 2001 4:04 am

But Sophie, if you use intent as a yardstick, you can actually be cheating BEFORE you have any words or contact.
"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
 
flyf15
Posts: 6633
Joined: Tue May 18, 1999 11:10 am

RE: What O You Consider Cheating?

Mon Jun 04, 2001 5:00 am

Yeah, say you catch your boy/girlfriend with a member of the opposite sex doing something between (A) and (K). What would you consider cheating then? Probably much less than you would if it were yourself doing the cheating...

Personally, I can see (A) through (D) happening without it being cheating, if they don't intend it that way. (E) and on, its cheating no matter what they intended. I feel that I would be comfortable with my girlfriend doing up to (C) and (D) would be cheating.

I feel the whole idea of cheating is showing love for another besides your partner...
 
Guest

RE: What O You Consider Cheating?

Mon Jun 04, 2001 6:24 am

E

Alexander
 
Guest

RE: What O You Consider Cheating?

Mon Jun 04, 2001 7:38 am

For me it's cheating when you kiss someone else on the lips without tongue and anything else beyond that.  Sad

Aloha 737-200 (Just lost his girlfriend  Crying)
 
JetService
Posts: 4611
Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2000 1:12 pm

RE: What O You Consider Cheating?

Tue Jun 05, 2001 3:55 am

B and C should be switch if listed in order of severity. Kissing on the cheek (C) and hugging (A) are socially acceptable ways of greeting someone of the opposite sex. It sjust like shaking ones hand. Holding hands is vague. If holding hands while strolling alone in the park, I would say that is cheating. Not the act per se, but the obvious feelings toward each other.

"Shaddap you!"
 
Matt D
Topic Author
Posts: 8907
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 1999 6:00 am

RE: What O You Consider Cheating?

Tue Jun 05, 2001 4:00 am

Agreed, JetService.

Aloha!!!! What's the story? You were on cloud 9 a few weeks ago?

By the way, there is a saying that I like to live by that relats to what you said JS:

"The best revenge you can give to a man that steals your woman is to let him keep her".

Because rest assured. Both men and women are creatures of habit. If a woman bailed on a whim once, I can all but assure you that she'll do it again. And that guy will then feel the same anguish that you felt, and be sorry that he ever sniped her from yoir life. Or even better, she'll fall in love with him, and he'll "kick her to the curb" just like she did to you and then she'll feel the same anguish she bestowed upon you.

Paybacks are a bitch, aren't they?
 
767-322ETOPS
Posts: 319
Joined: Wed May 30, 2001 9:06 am

RE: What O You Consider Cheating?

Tue Jun 05, 2001 5:17 am

How about cybersex, anyone consider that "cheating"?

BTW, any members of the mile high club around here?
 
Guest

RE: What O You Consider Cheating?

Tue Jun 05, 2001 5:45 am

If you feel the need to cover up your actions, then it probably constitutes cheating. If you don't mind telling your lady what you just did with her best friend, then it probably is not.

Applying this standard to one of the more interesting situations confronted by an old girlfriend, if your husband gets off on watching you have sex with other men and, pursuant to his request, you do so, it is not cheating as you do not need to cover it up and you feel free telling (not to mention showing) your husband about it.
 
UA767-223
Posts: 155
Joined: Thu May 03, 2001 11:30 am

RE: What O You Consider Cheating?

Tue Jun 05, 2001 5:54 am

Aloha,

If you cheated on her she'd still be with you - try it some time. And remember, nice guys ALWAYS finish last.

 
JetService
Posts: 4611
Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2000 1:12 pm

RE: What O You Consider Cheating?

Tue Jun 05, 2001 7:09 am

WN, I disagree. Sometimes guys cover-up innocent stuff because they know that their girlfriend/wife may misconstrue it as suspicious to avoid an unecessary confrontation.

Example: some girl from work asked you for a ride home for whatever reason. You drive her home, drop her off. No problem; innocent enought, right? Do you tell your wife? Hell no, unless you want to take a bunch of s#!t and have to explain yourself for no good reason.
"Shaddap you!"
 
Guest

RE: What O You Consider Cheating?

Tue Jun 05, 2001 10:33 pm

Why is your wife so suspicious of you, JetService? I would have absolutely no problem telling my fiancee that I had driven a co-worker home. If you have a problem telling her of something so innocent, what have you done in the past to warrant her mistrust?

I submit that if you have never done anything wrong and yet you still believe you would get shit for something so innocent, it says more about your wife than it does about the activity about which you are afraid to tell her.
 
JetService
Posts: 4611
Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2000 1:12 pm

RE: What O You Consider Cheating?

Tue Jun 05, 2001 11:32 pm

WN, ask any guy and he will tell you there are some innocent things you don't bother telling because it will get blown out of proportion. OK? Its that simple. So don't knock yourself out trying to read into it something else. It human-nature to be protective. Don't be so naïve, big guy.
"Shaddap you!"

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