FlyBoeing
Topic Author
Posts: 835
Joined: Fri May 05, 2000 2:08 am

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman Prank Call

Mon Aug 06, 2001 10:48 am

Background to all this: Dartmouth College's Parking Operations staff gives out tickets for parking without a permit in permit parking. Students(like me) get charged $50 with the fine doubling after each offense. Faculty get charged $10. Visitors get charged $20.

I wish I had some Command Presence. Imagine if in my dealings with Dartmouth Parking Operations I got sound clips from Full Metal Jacket and had Gunnery Sergeant Hartman be my voice. I bet I could get a lot done. Here's the way such a call would go.

HS = Hapless Secretary
DP = Director of Parking Operations
GH = Gunnery Sergeant Hartman

HS: "Hello, Parking Operations. Elizabeth speaking, how may I direct your call?"

GH: (Click to play the sound clip)

HS: "Well, no, sir, actually, my parents just thought that Elizabeth was a pretty name."

GH:

Dead silence on the line as the secretary tries to compose herself.

GH:

HS: "Sir, how can I help you? Has your car been immobilized? Would you like to contest a ticket?"

GH:

HS: "Please hold for the Director of Parking Operations."

DP: "Good morning, sir, my name is Lawrence, the Director of Parking Operations. How can I help you?"

GH:

DP: "umm... OK. Now, my secretary tells me about a 'jelly donut'. Did one of our officers squash a jelly donut? How can we resolve this problem?"

GH: (Click the two sound clips in succession)

DP: "If you're referring to our policy of doubling fines on student cars parked illegally, there is no negotiation on that issue. You're just going to have to pay the fine."

GH:

DP: "I'm sorry sir. The Trustees make the rules. I just enforce them."

GH:

DP: "Oooh, I didn't know you were an underprivileged minority. I'm sorry, sir. If our parking officers were in any way discriminatory..."

GH:

DP: "Just send me your ticket and all the records of your violation and I'll have them all cancelled."

GH:



Sounds are courtesy of Mark Getty's Full Metal Jacket Page
 
FlyBoeing
Topic Author
Posts: 835
Joined: Fri May 05, 2000 2:08 am

RE: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman Prank Call

Mon Aug 06, 2001 11:49 am

come on, guys, you know Gunnery Sergeant Hartman is funny... right?  Innocent
 
airlinelover
Posts: 5287
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2001 8:03 am

RE: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman Prank Call

Mon Aug 06, 2001 12:56 pm

I am laughing SO HARD my neighbors are getting pissed! You are now on my respected users list! DUDE, YOU ROCK!

Chris
Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
 
FlyBoeing
Topic Author
Posts: 835
Joined: Fri May 05, 2000 2:08 am

RE: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman Prank Call

Tue Aug 07, 2001 5:56 am

Thanks, Airlinelover. Now if only some other folks would click here...
 
airlinelover
Posts: 5287
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2001 8:03 am

RE: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman Prank Call

Tue Aug 07, 2001 6:30 am

No problem. I love to see/hear stuff that cracks me up..

Chris
Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
 
FlyBoeing
Topic Author
Posts: 835
Joined: Fri May 05, 2000 2:08 am

RE: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman Prank Call

Wed Aug 08, 2001 2:04 am

Who should Gunnery Sergeant Hartman call next?
 
airsicknessbag
Posts: 4626
Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2000 2:45 am

RE: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman Prank Call

Wed Aug 08, 2001 7:35 am


I just returned from the movies. The guy in front of me kept unwrapping some food noisily, talked to his chick and farted all the time. I think he deserves a call.

Daniel Smile
 
airlinelover
Posts: 5287
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2001 8:03 am

RE: Airsicknessbag

Thu Aug 09, 2001 2:49 am

Must've been from Taylor..

Chris
Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
 
174thfwff
Posts: 2831
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2003 12:47 am

RE: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman Prank Call

Thu Aug 09, 2001 4:06 am

how do you insert sound clips into this forum? what about small movie clips, can you post those also?
Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, Staten, Uptown, what now? Lets make it happen.
 
FlyBoeing
Topic Author
Posts: 835
Joined: Fri May 05, 2000 2:08 am

RE: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman Prank Call

Thu Aug 09, 2001 4:15 am

You shouldn't put movie clips in; the sound clips already slow the loading of this page pretty considerably.

Basically, if you want to see how somebody does something, you look at the original source HTML code. Just go to the View Menu then click on Source. The code for embedding audio is the same as that for embeddin pictures, with a couple of other aspects. Here is a sample piece of my code:

*embed src="http://www.getty.net/fullmetaljacket/royalty.wav" autostart="false" loop="false" volume="100" width="51" height="20" controls="smallconsole"*

with * replaced by < and >

Enjoy!

 
174thfwff
Posts: 2831
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2003 12:47 am

RE: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman Prank Call

Thu Aug 09, 2001 5:08 am

Wow, jeese, thanks mister!

Thanks again.
Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, Staten, Uptown, what now? Lets make it happen.
 
KROC
Posts: 18919
Joined: Mon May 08, 2000 11:19 am

RE: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman Prank Call

Thu Aug 09, 2001 7:24 am

I LOVE Full Metal Jacket. Thanks for the great call, and also the web page with the sound bites!!!

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Derico, NoTime, sunshine79 and 11 guests