Jet-A gasguy
Posts: 259
Joined: Sun Dec 24, 2000 4:04 pm

Secret Of Antigravity

Mon Oct 08, 2001 6:40 pm

Hey all,

Got this in the email and I thought it was kinda funny. If you've ever wondered about the secrets of AntiGravity......

QUESTION: If, when you drop a buttered piece of bread, it drops butter side down, and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you took a piece of buttered bread, strapped it on the back of a cat (butter side up) and dropped it from a great height?

ANSWER: Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should be able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand that the cat can not smash its furry back.

If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not fall.

That's right you clever mortal (well, as clever as a mortal can be), you have discovered the secret of antigravity! A buttered cat will, when released, quickly move to a height where the forces of cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing lift, or removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent.

Most of the civilized species of the Universe already use this principle to drive their ships while within a planetary system. The loud humming heard by most sighters of UFOs is, in fact, the purring of several hundred tabbies.

The one obvious danger is, of course, if the cats manage to eat the bread off their backs they will instantly plummet. Of course the cats will land on their feet, but this usually doesn't do them much good, since right after they make their graceful landing several tons of red-hot starship and pissed off aliens crash on top of them.

Well, heck.....It gave me a chuckle.

Jet-A gasguy

Find a job you love, and you'll never work a day in your life.
 
ryanb741
Posts: 5058
Joined: Thu Mar 28, 2002 6:36 pm

RE: Secret Of Antigravity

Mon Oct 08, 2001 6:47 pm

LOL  Big thumbs up
I used to think the brain is the most fascinating part of my body. But, hey, who is telling me that?
 
lehpron
Posts: 6846
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2001 3:42 am

RE: Secret Of Antigravity

Mon Oct 08, 2001 7:19 pm

Science, ya gotta love it.  Laugh out loud
The meaning of life is curiosity; we were put on this planet to explore opportunities.
 
airlinelover
Posts: 5287
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2001 8:03 am

RE: Secret Of Antigravity

Mon Oct 08, 2001 9:58 pm

Just Ask Bill Nye the Science guy!

Chris
Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply

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