In keeping with the "British Taliban Fighters" thread and the recent news reports about UK "Muslim" citizens wanting to go and fight in the "Jihad" in Afghanistan on the side of the Taliban.....may I present to you the following...........
SOMEWHERE IN NORTHERN AFGHANISTAN.........
Ahmed(formerly Kevin): Jesus it's cold man !!! I thought we were headed someplace sunny. I didn't realize this place was colder than Luton.
Yusuf(formerly Garry): Yeah...and the foods crap too. F*cking Nan bread for two weeks straight. I would kill for some KFC right now.
Ahmed: So........when do you think the Yanks will turn up ?
Yusuf: They won't.....they are scared of us. They realize that a bunch of guys like us are invincible because we are all fired up by Islam and all that.............
Ahmed: Yeah....f*cking Yanks....if they show their faces man....we'll kick their as*es.....F*ck it's cold !!!
Yusuf: Yeah....f*cking Yanks.......d*mn its cold'!!! Where's the AK-47 ?
Ahmed: Huh ???
Yusuf: The gun you idiot....where is it ?
Ahmed: It's broken.....one of the bits fell off and I can't get it back on.
Yusuf: Sh*t man !!! They trained you for over three hours......you should know how to fix a weapon.
Ahmed: Well............they kept going on about Allah and the Great Satan and all that and I just kind of switched off and started playing with my Game Boy.
I got 52,000 points before that weird bloke with the turban...bloody wanker...snitched it...said it was forbidden....d*mn wanker.
Yusuf: Did you get it back then ? I'm dying for a game. This sentry stuff is so boring. F*ck it's cold !!!!!!!!!!
Ahmed: No.........the Imam's probably playing it.....anyways the batteries were stuffed. Where the hell around here can you get batteries anyways.
Yusuf: Anyway....it doesn't matter, we're in a war now. Were gonna kick the Imperialist American as*es for Islam man !!!!
Ahmed: Yeah......a war. I can't wait to tell the guys back at the office about it. They'll be so envious. Losers !!!! They should have come along......I wonder what they are doing now ?
Yusuf: It's about 6pm Luton time.....I guess they'll be heading on down to the pub. Suckers.......they could be here.
Ahmed: How long is this going to last do you think ? How long do we have to protect Islam from the Yanks anyways ? It's been nearly three weeks so far. The food is crap and I haven't had a shower since I left homeand it doesn't look like we are going to see any action.......and we spend the whole day starving. F*cking Ramadan. I'm getting a bit bored with it to be honest.
Yusuf: Yeah.....I wouldn't mind doing a runner....you know, just getting out of here.
Ahmed: HEY !! LOOK !! A TANK !! it looks like a Union Jack......they're British....maybe they can give us a ride home.
Yusuf: Quick get their attention. OI !! OVER HERE !! WE'RE BRITISH !!
After a quick rattle of machine gun fire.....the world is a slightly better place.