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Posts: 5287
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2001 8:03 am

Accepting The Challenge

Mon Nov 12, 2001 3:04 pm

A friend sent me this earlier.. Thought you may like it..

Dear Taliban, Mr. bin Laden, Mr. Arafat, and Mr., Hussein, et al:
We are pleased to announce that we unequivocally accept you challenge to an old fashioned game of Whoop-ass. Now that we understand the rule that there are no rules, we look forward to playing without them for the first time. Since this game is winner-take-all, we unfortunately will be unable to invite you to join us at the victory celebration. But rest assured that we will toast you -- LITERALLY.

While we will admit that you are off to an impressive lead, it is, however, now our turn at the plate. By the way, we will be playing on your diamond now... Batter up!

Our team line up is as follows:

C0-Owners: The FATHER, SON, and HOLY GHOST

Manager - George W. Bush
Asst. Manager - Dick Cheney
Head Coach - Colin Powell
Asst.' Coach - Donald Rumsfeld
Starting Pitcher - Gen. Tommy Frank
1st Base - US Marine Corps
2nd Base - U.S. Navy
3rd Base - U.S. Air Force
Shortstop and Clean up hitter - U.S. Army
Outfield - Firemen and Policemen
Umpire - None required *
* remember -- the manager told you there'll be no discussion; no negotiation; and you didn't want rules, anyway!

Pinch hitters as needed -
U.S. Navy Seals
U.S. Army Green Berets
U.S. Army Rangers
U.S. Air Force PJs
Delta Force

And, since there are no rules, we've decided to add:
4th Base - United Kingdom
5th Base - Russia
6th Base - China
Other Bases (as desired) - Pakistan, Japan, Germany. France, Spain, Italy, Israel, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Turkistan and lots of
other....Stans, and more.

Opening ceremonies:
Vocal 1: Celine Dion - The Star Spangled Banner
Vocal 2 : Lee Greenwood - God Bless The U.S.A
Vocal 3: Bruce Springsteen - Born In The U.S.A.
Vocal 4: The Mormon Tabernacle Choir - Battle Hymn of the Republic

You may choose whoever you want for your team ... it won't really matter (even if you all shave), our guys are gonna win!


On behalf of the 270,000,000 citizens of the United States of America

p.s. May we recommend at this time that you give your soul to Allah because your ass is OURS!!!!! Good-bye literally.

All I have to say is this:  Big thumbs up


Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
Posts: 782
Joined: Thu May 20, 1999 4:29 pm

RE: Accepting The Challenge

Mon Nov 12, 2001 3:07 pm

Where were the Brits Canadians and the Australians in that equation??????'s passenger - simultaneously connecting and flying direct.
Posts: 2831
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2003 12:47 am

RE: Accepting The Challenge

Mon Nov 12, 2001 3:11 pm

It's very unnecessary.....

Almost all of the Osama followers are willing to die for their cause. We my friend, arren't going to give our own life, knowingly, to protect our country. Sure we join the army, but there is a percentage where some come back. People always think they are going to be okay, so they aren't going into the war knowing that they are going to die.

These people know who they are going to die.

My hypothesis is that United States will suffer alot more then just this. I think it's a new era, and new means of fighting. We aren't used to this suicide warfair.

-Peace In-
Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, Staten, Uptown, what now? Lets make it happen.
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Joined: Thu May 11, 2000 8:01 am

RE: Accepting The Challenge

Mon Nov 12, 2001 3:12 pm

Celine Dion and The Mormon Tabernacle Choir?!?!?!?!


You had me up until those two were in the picture.  Pissed
Bring back the Concorde
User avatar
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Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2001 3:26 pm

RE: Accepting The Challenge

Mon Nov 12, 2001 3:13 pm

In my opinion are equal to us in the starting lineup. With upmost gratitude thanks to all who stand with us.
Pray hard but pray with care For the tears that you are crying now Are just your answered prayers
Matt D
Posts: 8907
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 1999 6:00 am

RE: Accepting The Challenge

Mon Nov 12, 2001 10:31 pm

This is why I don't understand why so many people want Bin Ladens head on a stick.

Because in his sick and twisted mind, death is the "gateway to paradise". So we would be doing him a favor. I just can't figure out why he is hiding. (unless, of course, he KNOWS he screwed up).

If we ever catch the SOB, we should torture the shit out of know...make him scream and beg for mercy...all televised. And the louder he screams, the harder we go.

Perhaps put his head in a vise, chop off his fingers one by one, burn out his eyes with hairspray lit with a match and sprayed right into them, bend him into awkward positions and strap him and leave him there, and so on.

THAT would be where justice was served.

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