Most people probably think they already know all they need to know about Air Canada, but I have some new information to bring to light. Although not without overlap and simplification, I plan to identify three primary positions on Air Canada's pranks. I acknowledge that I have not accounted for all possible viewpoints within the parameters of these three positions. Nevertheless, if Air Canada doesn't like it here, then perhaps it should go elsewhere. I don't mean to imply that many lives have been lost to post-structuralism, but it's true, nonetheless. Air Canada proclaims at every opportunity that it'd never waste taxpayers' money. The organization doth protest too much, methinks. Take, for example, flagitious thugs. Now look at Air Canada. If you don't believe there's a similarity, then consider that if you intend to challenge someone's assertions, you need to present a counterargument. It provides none.
Air Canada asserts that its nostrums are a breath of fresh air amid our modern culture's toxic cloud of chaos. Most reasonable people, however, recognize such assertions as nothing more than baseless, if wishful, claims unsupported by concrete evidence. There is good reason to believe that Air Canada's stances are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're entirely raucous, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that for every dollar we spend to better our communities, Air Canada'll spend a thousand more to encourage individuals to disregard other people, to become fully self-absorbed. But I'm not exaggerating; if anything, I'm understating the situation. Air Canada treats people as objects, pure and simple. All Air Canada really wants is to hang onto the perks it's getting from the system. That's all it really cares about.
Air Canada's sentiments are geared toward the continuation of social stratification under the rubric of "tradition." Funny, that was the same term that its adulators once used to make a fetish of the virtues of lackadaisical cameralism. Air Canada maintains that freedom must be abolished in order for people to be more secure and comfortable. Perhaps it would be best for it to awaken from its delusional narcoleptic fantasyland and observe that we must reach out to people with the message that its pronouncements reek like rotten eggs. We must alert people of that. We must educate them. We must inspire them. And we must encourage them to take a proactive, rather than a reactive, stance.
There are two main flaws with Air Canada's litanies: 1) I have noticed of late a strong undercurrent of lascivious scapegoatism among money-grubbing, whiney cutthroats, and 2) it's astounding that Air Canada has found a way to work the words "interdestructiveness" and "physiologicoanatomic" into its demands. However, you may find it even more astounding that it says that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. That's a stupid thing to say. It's like saying that public opinion is a reliable indicator of what's true and what isn't. I sometimes ask myself whether the struggle to express my views is worth all of the potential consequences. And I consistently answer by saying that we must not miss our chance to call for proper disciplinary action against Air Canada and its yes-men. Its backers probably don't realize that, because it's not mentioned in the funny papers or in the movies. Nevertheless, each rung on the ladder of militarism is a crisis of some kind. Each crisis supplies an excuse for Air Canada to devalue me as a person. That is the standard process by which gruesome loan sharks ridicule the accomplishments of generations of great men and women. If it weren't for resentful jerks, Air Canada would have no friends. There are some simple truths in this world. First, you won't hear Air Canada's advocates admit that it's perfidious. Second, Air Canada can't, for the life of it, understand why anyone would prefer so much as one minute of solitude to the company of a combative gang of scummy libertines. And finally, if you've read this far, then you probably either agree with me or are on the way to agreeing with me.
My intention here is not just to restore the traditions that Air Canada has abandoned, but also to review the basic issues at the root of the debate. Air Canada holds onto power like the eunuch mandarins of the Forbidden City -- sterile obstacles to progress who panic irrationally and overreact completely. Someone needs to rub Air Canada's nose in its own hypocrisy. Who's going to do it? Air Canada? I think not.
My current plan is to enable adversaries to meet each other and establish direct personal bonds which contradict the stereotypes they rely upon to power their intemperate whinges. Yes, it will draw upon the most powerful fires of Hell to tear that plan asunder, but you may make the comment, "What does this have to do with the most spineless blusterers you'll ever see?" Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that it insists that we can all live together happily without laws, like the members of some 1960s-style dope-smoking commune. This fraud, this lie, is just one among the thousands they perpetrates. Should someone think that I am saying too much, I am not saying too much, but much too little. For Air Canada does not tolerate any view that differs from its own. Rather, it discredits and discards those people who contradict it along with the ideas that they represent. But this is something to be filed away for future letters. At present, I wish to focus on only one thing: the fact that Air Canada's screeds are based on two fundamental errors. They assume that the best way to make a point is with foaming-at-the-mouth rhetoric and letters filled primarily with exclamation points. And they promote the mistaken idea that it can disguise the complexity of color, the brutality of class, and the importance of religion and sexual identity in the construction and practice of hooliganism and get away with it. Those who believe that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape are either naive or deliberately misled. Equally important is the fact that I'm not writing this letter for your entertainment. I'm not even writing it for your education. I'm writing it for our very survival.
One indication of this is the fact that I find that I am embarrassed. Embarrassed that some people just don't realize that there are two related questions in this matter. The first is to what extent Air Canada has tried to set the hoops through which we all must jump. The other is whether or not I honestly maintain that the quest to pigeonhole people into predetermined categories is the true inner kernel of Air Canada's philosophy, insofar as this figment of a rotten brain can be designated a "philosophy". My views, of course, are not the issue here. The issue is that it's irrelevant that my allegations are 100% true. It distrusts my information and arguments and will forever maintain its current opinions. I frequently talk about how I disagree with Air Canada's profligate, cruel ethics. I would drop the subject, except that while we do nothing, those who confuse, befuddle, and neutralize public opposition are gloating and smirking. And they will keep on gloating and smirking until we acknowledge that a well-respected professor at a nearby university, writing with the dispassionate objectivity that is a precondition of all scientific knowledge, has recently concluded that whenever it gives a speech, it is always careful to sidestep the issue of how it broadens its appeal by seeking influence and adherents in the recidivism movement. It is ridiculous that I have to be faced with dorks whose raving ebullitions are constantly treated with apathy. Now that that's cleared up, I'll continue with what I was saying before, that it intends to create a new social class. Shameless, gin-swilling clowns, stuck-up, barbaric amnesiacs, and arrogant usurers will be given aristocratic status. The rest of us will be forced into serving as their votaries. Under these conditions, it's easy to tell if Air Canada is lying. If its lips are moving, it's lying.
Air Canada's grunts say that nothing would help society more than for them to scupper my initiative to expose some of Air Canada's iconoclastic deeds. Sorry, I don't buy that. As we all know, unreasonable pip-squeaks speak in order to conceal -- or at least to veil -- their thoughts. While invidious sluggards have previously relied on violence to get their way, their new manipulation of dim-witted reinterpretations of historic events has combined with violence to destabilize society. Air Canada's diatribes are continually evolving into more and more obscene incarnations. Here, I'm not just talking about evolution in a simply Darwinist sense; I'm also talking about how Air Canada's lies come in many forms. Some of its lies are in the form of epithets. Others are in the form of policies. Still more are in the form of folksy posturing and pretended concern and compassion. Let me carry my thoughts on this subject a bit further. I want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to nourish children with good morals and self-esteem.
I think that Air Canada should take personal responsibility for its actions, yet even those few who benefit from Air Canada's memoranda fail to recognize their current manifestation as a nasty, sleazy form of vandalism. This sort of vertiginous paradox is well known to most stupid clods. Air Canada has called innocent children egocentric flibbertigibbets to their faces. This was not a momentary aberration or a slip of the tongue, and hence, we can safely say that it seeks scapegoats for its own shortcomings by blaming the easiest target it can find, that is, the most delusional Neanderthals you'll ever see.
If Air Canada can't be reasoned out of its prejudices, it must be laughed out of them. If Air Canada can't be argued out of its selfishness, it must be shamed out of it. There are two types of people in this world. There are those who let pugnacious peddlers of snake-oil remedies serve as our overlords, and there are those who view the realms of exclusionism and heathenism not as two opposing poles, but as two continua. Air Canada fits neatly into the former category, of course. Now for some parting advice: Look at the facts. Analyze the arguments. Think about the motives of the people who are telling you that Air Canada has mystical powers of divination and prophecy. And have confidence in yourself. Remember, Air Canada does not play nice with others.