Matt D
Topic Author
Posts: 8907
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 1999 6:00 am

Suffering From Guilt

Sat Dec 08, 2001 1:59 am

Hello, my name is Matt and I suffer from the guilt of
not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent
to me by people who actually believe that if you send
them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a
breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough
money to have it removed before her redneck parents
sell her to a traveling freak show.


Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to
give you, and everyone to whom you send e-mail,
$1000? How stupid are you?


Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and
make a wish, I'll get laid by every good looking model
in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit.


Basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the
people out there who have nothing better to do than to
send me stupid chain mail forwards.


Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come
into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not
continuing a chain that was started by Peter in 5 AD
and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the
Mayflower. Fuck them.


If you're going to forward something, at least send
me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send
this to 10 of your closest friends" and this poor,
wretched excuse for a human being will somehow
receive a nickel from some omniscient being.


I don't fucking care.


Show a little intelligence and think about what
you're actually contributing to by sending out
these forwards.


Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.


The point being? If you get some chain letter that's
threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the
rest of your life, delete it.


If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by
making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana
with no teeth who has been tied to a dead elephant
for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents
per letter he'll receive if you forward this e-mail.


Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise,
tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will
consume your genitals.

 
EGGD
Posts: 11880
Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2001 12:01 am

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sat Dec 08, 2001 2:25 am

I keep getting emails forwarded to me with nothing in them  Confused
 
Bernard Shakey
Posts: 541
Joined: Thu Oct 18, 2001 4:05 am

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sat Dec 08, 2001 2:29 am

Uh huhhh huhhh...you said Peter...that was cool uh huhhh...
Mindless drifter on the road, Carries such an easy load
 
EGGD
Posts: 11880
Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2001 12:01 am

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sat Dec 08, 2001 2:31 am

Damnit, now i get it. Anthrax doesn't show up on a white screen!
 
Staffan
Posts: 3879
Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2008 9:21 am

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sat Dec 08, 2001 2:35 am

So Dan is getting E-Anthrax, don't sit too close to the screen and I'm sure you'll be ok. Big grin

 
User avatar
OzarkD9S
Posts: 4755
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2001 2:31 am

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sat Dec 08, 2001 4:00 am

i beg my friends not to send me that sh*t but they do anyway, as if forwarding a freakin e-mail or returning a pal-mail means you're a better friend because of it. what a crock!
Next up: STL-OAK-RNO-LAS-ICT-STL
 
Stretch 8
Posts: 2468
Joined: Fri May 28, 1999 4:00 am

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sat Dec 08, 2001 5:06 am

You are a funny bastard, Matt. I agree with you on the chain letter thing. As far as "guilty" feelings; for me, they only occur just after the last spurt of a wanking session.
Maggs swings, it's a drive deep to left! The Tigers are going to the World Series!!!
 
Matt D
Topic Author
Posts: 8907
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 1999 6:00 am

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sat Dec 08, 2001 5:09 am

I'm sorry you feel that way Stretch 8!

In the moments immediately following a yank session for me, I actually feel pretty good and relaxed! And the best part of it is there is no guilt. No one to have to "hold", no one to push out the door.

Yanking off is the greatest source of fulfillment I have.
 
lehpron
Posts: 6846
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2001 3:42 am

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sat Dec 08, 2001 5:30 am

(in an Indian accent)

Uh, you had better be watching your language, there are younger people who would not appreciate your use of the F-word. In fact they might use it against you so you had better be watching yourself, hmm?  Big grin
The meaning of life is curiosity; we were put on this planet to explore opportunities.
 
Stretch 8
Posts: 2468
Joined: Fri May 28, 1999 4:00 am

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sat Dec 08, 2001 5:42 am

Matt, you are beginning to sound like Joona!
Maggs swings, it's a drive deep to left! The Tigers are going to the World Series!!!
 
JetService
Posts: 4611
Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2000 1:12 pm

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sat Dec 08, 2001 9:21 am

From chain-letters to punching the midget in 5 1/2 posts. That HAS to be a record in the digression department!!!
"Shaddap you!"
 
174thfwff
Posts: 2831
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2003 12:47 am

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sat Dec 08, 2001 9:26 am

Hey Matt,
If you left out the f word, I think your post would have gotten more respect from me...but I am only a kid, what do I know. Right? Right.


-Peace In-
174thfwff
Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, Staten, Uptown, what now? Lets make it happen.
 
Guest

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sat Dec 08, 2001 9:41 am

Yep, I keep getting the blank e-mails too.

I'd like to let you all know, IF YOU SEND ME AN E-MAIL WITH NOTHING IN IT, I'M GOING TO BLOCK YOUR ADDRESS!!!

I've done that 5 times now. I get one of those, block the address, then I get another one from someone else, and then I block that address too. I don't need 50 blank e-mails using up all my free space in my inbox. Screw it, block 'em.

Aloha 737-200!!  Wink/being sarcastic
 
N400QX
Posts: 1981
Joined: Sun May 06, 2001 9:51 am

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sat Dec 08, 2001 3:41 pm

This thread is hilarious.... I gotta save this to my hard drive before its deleted.

No comment on the "joonabation" issue.  Laugh out loud
 
almbluzman
Posts: 160
Joined: Wed Dec 15, 1999 3:05 am

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sat Dec 08, 2001 5:39 pm

awww...too bad, so sad -

can't just delete the stupid e-mail w/out whining to the rest of the world about it, now can we???

almbluzman
 
Delta777-XXX
Posts: 940
Joined: Sun Jun 11, 2000 3:50 am

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sun Dec 09, 2001 1:39 am

haha - we should all add MattD to our address books and everytime we get a chain letter... we'll forward it to him!  Wink/being sarcastic

gosh... that would really suck!

Hank  Big thumbs up
 
Guest

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sun Dec 09, 2001 1:58 am

DO IT !!!!!!!!!!!! Big grin Big grin

Oh, and Wanking off is the greatest thing ever thought of...  Smile
 
Guest

RE: Suffering From Guilt

Sun Dec 09, 2001 2:16 am

This proves that chain letters do work! Matt D neve sent one and look what happened to him!
Iain

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